To expect this school mum to have paid by now?

[Lewiscapaldiscat]

I sold some of my ds toys to a fellow school mum I know quite well. Not an insignificant amount of money and it belongs to my ds.

she asked for my bank details which I sent, on the day she said she forgot her card reader, would cash be ok, said yes, then she said she’d transfer. All fine. took them to school for her and I haven’t received anything.

i messaged yesterday saying all ok - she replied yes excellent - child is already playing with them and loving them.
I replied great - do you need me to resend my bank details and no response! we agreed the price and confirmed how to pay so no misunderstanding. They are well to do / but little irrelevant since she agreed to pay for them.

im really irritated she could reply saying oh loving them - but not pay or even mention payment - such as oh sorry I forgot or I’ll get it to you now. Nothing - I won’t be able to look at her the same and obviously will chase again for the money but aibu to be so infuriated by this cf behaviour???

She's def cheeky and I think after a freebie. U say she hasn't replied about the money after messaging about the toys!

U cld always say it like, hey still haven't got the money in my bank can you check the details I gave you incase it's gone to the wrong account. We were wanting to go to the shops today as he wants to pick some new toys out.

She shld be mortified and after u asked again the money shld have appeared right away.

If you urgently need the money chase and say so. If you don't, and you chase again in less than 48 hours, that would feel a bit intense at this stage.

Completely agree

This precisely.
She's rude af and if she doesn't have the funds she shouldn't have taken them until she did.

How bloody annoying. Years ago I once sold a laptop for £100 to a school mum. I knew she wasn’t well off so agreed she could pay me back at £10 a week. Months went by and I only got 1 payment of a tenner. I got more and more fuming every time I thought about it. In the end I went round her house, gave her back the tenner and asked for the laptop. To be fair, she did hand it over but it was so annoying and hurtful. You need to be prepared to do the same.

I'm not wrong. Unless I imagined all the times transfers to my 3 DC (all different banks) went through immediately. Plus the times my plumber had the payment before he'd ever left my house.

I hate the way posters fall all over themselves to tell an OP she’s wrong, whatever the circumstances.

This is so unreasonable on the part of this friend. She’s got the toys, she should have fucking well paid for them.

Her to-ing and fro-ing over cash and transfers is a red flag that she’s going to be a twat about this.

Keep messaging her till she pays up.

If she still doesn't pay, mention it politely at the school gates in the hearing of others.

Comfortably off people are always worse payers as money means less to them.

@Flangelasashes You’re really out of date. Payments can be nigh-on instant. I suspect either you have some archaic business set up, or your clients are lying about when they paid you.

" Hi, can you transfer that money this morning please, DS is looking forward to buying some new toys today with it"

Or something along those lines as PP suggested

Send another reminder this morning- hi, I need that cash for today's activity, can you send it right away please? If you've changed your mind please pop them in a bag in front of your house and I'll pick them up in an hour, so I can list them on facebook this afternoon.

Of course they do 😂

I'm self-employed and my clients all pay me my bank transfer from a variety of different banks and bank accounts. Without fail, when they message me to say "Payment sent", the money is in my own account within seconds.

I've never waited longer than a few seconds for money to land. Ever.

Neither is wrong, out of date or archaic

Many businesses pay by bacs on a payment run which takes 2/3 days

Businesses and in this case individuals can do faster payments for immediate transfer

I’d wait til later today then text “I’d like the money (£70) paid into my account today. Glad your ds likes the toys. Repeat bank details”

Can't understand everyone saying 'it's only been a day'.

It takes as long to make a transfer as it's taken me to write this - she just needs to pay it.

Irrelevant whether it's a fiver or £100 - and also irrelevant whether Op needs the money or not - she owes it, end of story.

It's only been a few days. If she is well off she probably assumes you don't desperately need the money either.

Unless you said 'we are selling DS's toys because otherwise we can't afford the food shop this week' yab a bit u.

Give her until Wednesday at least but I would have given her a week before a reminder text was sent.

That's probably why you've not had a reply - because it does come across as a bit pushy, if I'm being totally honest.

It's only been a couple days - some accounts don't transfer over the weekend too.
If nothing has arrived Monday I'd text her that the money hasn't arrived in your account so here are the bank details just in case. Or if you see her say the money hasn't arrived etc.

No bank guarantees same day inter bank transfers because they don't have control over the recieving bank

People telling you it's instant because anecdote could just try googling their banks policies, or try reading the small print on the transfers they send

I'd also give her a couple more days. But then I'm the kind of person who may forget to transfer immediately so I like to think I'd get some leeway from someone who knew me well enough to know I'm trustworthy.

I’d send the wording above tomorrow morning.

The speed of payments isn’t the issue here as she’s obviously not sent it.

”but a tenner for a toy, I don't think of it as an issue if it takes me a few days.”

^ This attitude sums up so many bad experiences and loss of good will for sellers. If you want to buy something then have the good manners to pay for it straight away.

Because imagine if the buyer thought like loads of people and thought that the transfer would be instant, and made it. And is now being chased by a CF who can't even check their own bank account.

She'd be as wrong as everyone posting that they're always instant of course, but it's a potential scenario

It's only been a few days. If she is well off she probably assumes you don't desperately need the money either.

You wouldn't be allowed to go to Tesco and refuse to pay because "they don't desperately need the money", so why is it acceptable to do it to anyone else?

If I tell someone I’m making a transfer then the next day they send me a reminder I’m making the transfer and sending a text to confirm I’ve done it. And I’m not an organised person.

@Holly60 can someone who is waiting for payday, who is also broke, do they same at Tesco?
If you are buying something you need the money there straight away in one form or another.

Are there any banks where smaller payments still take up to 5 days?

I’d check your account on Monday and just say

Hi, just checked my account and your payment hasn’t come through. Have you set one up, and if you have, please could you recheck the account details.