To expect this school mum to have paid by now?

[Lewiscapaldiscat]

I sold some of my ds toys to a fellow school mum I know quite well. Not an insignificant amount of money and it belongs to my ds.

she asked for my bank details which I sent, on the day she said she forgot her card reader, would cash be ok, said yes, then she said she’d transfer. All fine. took them to school for her and I haven’t received anything.

i messaged yesterday saying all ok - she replied yes excellent - child is already playing with them and loving them.
I replied great - do you need me to resend my bank details and no response! we agreed the price and confirmed how to pay so no misunderstanding. They are well to do / but little irrelevant since she agreed to pay for them.

im really irritated she could reply saying oh loving them - but not pay or even mention payment - such as oh sorry I forgot or I’ll get it to you now. Nothing - I won’t be able to look at her the same and obviously will chase again for the money but aibu to be so infuriated by this cf behaviour???

Exactly this.

You could send her a paypal funds request, you put the amount in and use her email address to request from here she literally just has to log in to PayPal to approve 🤷🏻‍♀️

This thread reminded me of a previous one where the OP was being chased for payment on the same day after a tradesman finished the job and sent the invoice. The general consensus was: why on Earth have you not paid already.

Funny that now it’s the other way around, what’s the rush? Unreasonable to expect payment on the same day, give her a week, she might have financial problems.

Which one is it then… Mumsnet?

link to other post here: www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4572237-tradesman-chasing-for-payment

The lesson here is don’t hand over anything without getting the money. She can’t pay until Monday, ok I’ll give you the toys on Monday. The fact is it’s a child selling their toys and what is a small amount to an adult means a lot to the child I expect. So the amount doesn’t matter, it’s rude not to pay straight away on receiving something or at least communicate the fact if you can’t.

Really? Ours always seem to go instantly when sending to any bank.

So many bloody excuses, maybe she’s busy - we’re all busy that’s why we use online banking, maybe she’s struggling financially - then only buy presents for birthday/Christmas.

It takes seconds to transfer money. If she didn’t have the cash, she could have waited until she has it before taking the toys.

Replying to a text saying he’s enjoying playing with them then ignoring payment request is CF.

You’ve given her long enough.

I thought this was going to be weeks ago but it was only Friday? Give it a few more days before requesting again and then take it from there.

Which one is it then… Mumsnet?

Its almost like MN isn't a hive mind but is a bunch of people with different opinions isn't it?

OP: Don't make excuses for asking, don't ask if she has paid when you know she hasn't.

Just ask directly when she plans to pay the money or alternatively she can return the items for resale.

I think this. I had a similar experience when purchasing something for myself/dd and her friend/mum. We had agreed to take the girls, I would purchase tickets and she would transfer the money. She finally paid despite reminders but it took her about 3 months. This mum is lovely but I honestly think she just didn’t see that unlike her circumstances that amount of money could be important to us. Lesson learned!

I appreciate the different views - I was looking for perspective!

i find it odd if you buy something you wouldn’t pay for it straight away - that in my opinion is how the exchange of goods and money works but see sone people are very relaxed about it. It was £70.

if she in this instance didn’t want to pay until next week that would be fine. I think it’s odd as pp said she responded but then didn’t after asking for payment.

Don't forget that most of AIBU is dominated by posters who will tie themselves in knots to prove that the OP is being unreasonable, regardless of the actual situation.

Presumably she lives quite nearby?
Pop round and ask for the cash...or she can do the bank transfer while you're there...You were passing on your normal early Sunday walk after all

This.

You shouldn't have to chase someone for payment.

Lesson learnt.
It's shabby behaviour.

She's a CF. Honestly, just message her again. It's not on.

Ha ha, I'm camp burn her house down. Seriously though she could have very easily paid when you sent the reminder. It takes a split seconds to do a quick transfer on her phone banking app. She either can't or won't pay. Give it a couple of days then tell her the money is for your dc, she need to give you the money or the toys back. You should be the one feeling awkward or embarrassed, she should. If someone owes you money its on them, not you.

Do you think this will be ok if I do it in Sainsburys later?

Give it till Monday evening then start chasing it until you get it.

I don't agree with leaving it a few days. It is disrespectful for her not to have paid immediately. You should never have to chase someone for money. 'Forgot my card reader' is a joke. If you're buying something from someone, the one thing you don't 'forget' is the payment method. I'm the scattiest person in the world, but I do understand the concept of no money, no goods. And in my experience, people are less inclined to want to pay for something, the longer they've had the item in their sticky mitts.

If I was buying something off a friend I would make sure I paid straight away. However if I was the seller I wouldn’t hound my friend or be getting myself all worked up over it after only a day and half.

Transfers to different banks do not take seconds especially on out of bank hours! 😂

Yes they do. Banking hours make no difference to online transfers. Anyway, it does only take seconds for someone to initiate the transfer regardless of how long it takes to arrive.

I'd definitely be going down the 'my child is keen to go to Argos and pick out some new toys, so can you send that money over now..' route.
Honestly things like this are so annoying, you've had the toys so just pay up! Maybe they're hoping if they can drag it out long enough that you'll give up

You'll never see the money again. Lesson learnt - never part with anything till you have the money. The age old adage applies - never lend what you cannot afford to lose.

Just text and say, “can you let me know which date you transferred me the money, as I can’t see it in my bank account ? Thanks!”

But it does belong to the son.

I and other people give my kids toys as GIFTS (xmas, birthdays etc...) there for the result of any money made when the decide to sell them is THEIR money and goes into their saving or towards something they choose to buy.

Why on earth would you think the money ISN'T the childs?