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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH not to leave DS in the car while he pays for petrol?

306 replies

myhouseisafairycastle · 07/08/2022 17:35

DH insists on leaving our 4.5 yo DS in the car when he goes into the petrol station to pay. I have asked him time and again to take DS with him but he still does it. What makes it worse is that the car alarm is sensitive so he leaves the car unlocked otherwise the alarm goes off. DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. For context, we live in a remote rural area so pay at pump doesn’t exist here. He did it again yesterday and I’m fuming.

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 07/08/2022 18:35

He needs to work out how to turn the alarm off and put the child locks on the back doors. I’d agree leaving it unlocked isn’t ideal. If it’s something you worry about does he actually need to fill up whilst kids are in the car? Do either of you go out alone in the car?

ProseccoStorm · 07/08/2022 18:37

HeckyPeck · 07/08/2022 18:22

I'm shocked at the amount of people who think it's ok to leave a young child in an unlocked car.

Why?

What's realistically going to happen? No one is likely to kidnap a 4.5yr old from a busy petrol station that is packed with CCTV and the parent has full view of the car even whilst paying.

Car thieves are a. Unlikely to be lurking at a petrol station (they'd be fairy obvious I suspect), b. Unlikely to pick the car that has a child in it and c. Unlikely to pick the car that has a child in it, and no keys (wouldn't the parent take the keys with them?)

Leaving the car unlocked means that if the worst did happen with a fire or a crash, someone could take the child out.

InTheShadeOfTheFigTree · 07/08/2022 18:37

Ontomatopea · 07/08/2022 17:39

So dangerous. What if someone nicks the car or there's a spark and a fire. Or kid gets out and gets hit by a car. Petrol stations aren't a safe place for kids.

Oh come on. How often do those scenarios actually happen? The only fatal fire at a petrol station in our area tragically killed someone using the public loo inside.

jammiewhammie65 · 07/08/2022 18:41

Just put child locks on the door you just flip the catch on the side it's easy

bloodywhitecat · 07/08/2022 18:41

I have never taken mine out of the car to pay either, I feel the safer option is to leave them strapped in their seats in the car.

MacKenzieMcHale · 07/08/2022 18:41

I've never ever taken my kids out of the car to pay. Why would I? Just lock the doors.

Bouledeneige · 07/08/2022 18:43

YABU - why bother ?

thenightsky · 07/08/2022 18:46

My local petrol station has signs up saying under no circumstances are children under the age of 16 allowed on the forecourt. Children are to remain in the vehicle

Pretty much all the garages round these parts have that notice too.

BeanieTeen · 07/08/2022 18:50

I’ve always left my LO in the car. I think that’s pretty normal and standard.

Love how all these people are fretting about car thieves although the chances of someone stealing your car at a petrol station when you have the keys in your hand is pretty slim.
Comparably, the chances of crashing your car on the way home are always fairly significant - and yet presumably you do drive with your children nonetheless. If you’re so worried about your DCs I suggest you don’t put them in a car full stop.

TommySaid · 07/08/2022 18:54

YABU

I’d say it’s much more dangerous to take him with him.

The cars driving around is much more of a hazard than the potential car thief’s or fires that are extremely unlikely.

Take his keys with him and put a child lock on the door.
If it’s a rural one it’ll only be small so he’ll be able to see him the whole time.

mycatisannoying · 07/08/2022 18:57

YABU and precious.

hassletassle · 07/08/2022 18:57

I leave mine in the car. There are two of them, 3 and 4. It takes me ages to get them in and out and I wouldn't like to drag them across the forecourt, have an argument about sweets in the shop, then have to strap them on again. If I can't pay at the pump I make sure I lock the car and can see the car from the kiosk.

I think the problem is the car alarm and him not locking it!

endoflevelbaddy · 07/08/2022 18:58

I have genuinely never seen anyone get a child out of their car and take them in to pay. I always left mine in and locked it. Close enough to knock alarm off if it goes off, which it never did.

WeAreBob · 07/08/2022 19:00

I always left mine in the car when I paid for fuel. Really, just let it go and leave your husband alone.

greatblueheron · 07/08/2022 19:01

YABU

Your husband is presumably a competent adult and a good father. He is capable of making this decision on his own while he has his child with him.

Georgyporky · 07/08/2022 19:01

He has the best interests of his own child at heart.

newnamefortoday · 07/08/2022 19:03

Thanks all. It’s good to know so many people do it/have done it regularly with no I’ll effects. When DS was a baby we lived in a different town where there was a car stolen with a child inside - it made the national news at the time. I’d imagine every parent from that town is now a little bit paranoid as it was a bit too close to home. I will relax about it and disable the alarm so he can lock the door. And when I say remote, we’re on the edge of the mountains and it’s an hour to our nearest McDonald’s or shopping centre. The nearest pay at pump is 20 minutes drive away so not really practical for every day.

LaughingCat · 07/08/2022 19:03

How am I still upright and breathing, when my parents left me in the car at the petrol station every single time they filled up? Beggars belief. Must have been the way they said, “Stay in the car, I’ll be watching you.”

Unless he’s a regular Houdini with zero discipline, I think you may be going a tad OTT, OP

Scepticalwotsits · 07/08/2022 19:03

Safer in the car and why not get child locks on the car if they don’t already have then. Means they should get out even if unlocked. Although I would lock the car

newnamefortoday · 07/08/2022 19:03

*ill effects

Scepticalwotsits · 07/08/2022 19:03

*shouldn't

MassiveSalad22 · 07/08/2022 19:03

I never see any kids in petrol stations. Because everyone leaves their kids in the car.

bubblescoop · 07/08/2022 19:03

It’s not your place to tell him how to parent.

WeAreBob · 07/08/2022 19:07

newnamefortoday · 07/08/2022 19:03

Thanks all. It’s good to know so many people do it/have done it regularly with no I’ll effects. When DS was a baby we lived in a different town where there was a car stolen with a child inside - it made the national news at the time. I’d imagine every parent from that town is now a little bit paranoid as it was a bit too close to home. I will relax about it and disable the alarm so he can lock the door. And when I say remote, we’re on the edge of the mountains and it’s an hour to our nearest McDonald’s or shopping centre. The nearest pay at pump is 20 minutes drive away so not really practical for every day.

I was born in a different country where even stopping at a red light was scary because car jacking was so common.

Still leave my kids in the car when I'm standing inside the petrol station at Tesco watching my car the whole time. Really, just get over it.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/08/2022 19:07

What do you do when you when you pay for petrol with DS in the car?