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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH not to leave DS in the car while he pays for petrol?

306 replies

myhouseisafairycastle · 07/08/2022 17:35

DH insists on leaving our 4.5 yo DS in the car when he goes into the petrol station to pay. I have asked him time and again to take DS with him but he still does it. What makes it worse is that the car alarm is sensitive so he leaves the car unlocked otherwise the alarm goes off. DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. For context, we live in a remote rural area so pay at pump doesn’t exist here. He did it again yesterday and I’m fuming.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 07/08/2022 19:36

@Teach12 then don't forget to lock it.

Imagine you got him out and he ran away?

Analcolico · 07/08/2022 19:36

00100001 · 07/08/2022 19:27

Why is it better?

Show quote history

Well... at that point, I was spending pretty much every waking hour with the children, so it would have seemed wholly unnatural not to have them glued to me. I just had random fears of things like one of them managing to take the handbrake off. With PFB, I was convinced that someone would steal him because he was the most perfect baby ever born, so nobody would be able to resist. My mind went down an entire rabbit hole of imagining someone taking him and me not being able to prove that he was mine, and he'd grow up not knowing who his real mummy was. And so on.. Grin

butterflied · 07/08/2022 19:39

Arnaquer · 07/08/2022 17:42

Really? People actually take their children out of the car to pay for petrol? How did my two ever make it to 18 unscathed?

Sometimes I wonder how I survived my childhood when I read this forum.

YABU, OP.

SheWoreYellow · 07/08/2022 19:41

Sorry if this has already been said, but does your car not do that thing where two presses of the lock button locks the car with no alarm on? All brands that we’ve had or driven recently have done this, thought it was standard.

Teach12 · 07/08/2022 19:42

Actually don't most cars open from the inside even if locked? I'm talking front doors.

lastminutedotcom22 · 07/08/2022 19:42

Mumofsend · 07/08/2022 17:38

It's far more dangerous to have a 4.5 year old out on a petrol forecourt than safely in their seat.

This exactly
Moving cars
Fumes
I can't see your issue

OldTinHat · 07/08/2022 19:46

YABU...

Holidayy · 07/08/2022 19:47

"Petrol stations are highly unlikely to go boom, the stupidity of many members of the general public is accounted for in their design"

True, and I left my kids in the car when paying. But I'm not sure petrol stations were designed with modern day hybrid and electric cars in mind.

I say this because I watched at a local petrol station as a customer mistakenly put fuel in the charging port of their car then turned on the ignition. A couple of cars and the forecourt did go boom.

Quia · 07/08/2022 19:49

Sounds like your husband has a better handle on your son's safety than you do.

thenewduchessoflapland · 07/08/2022 19:51

Can't he use pay at pump?

stayathomer · 07/08/2022 19:52

dh did this once or twice and it pissed me off. For me it was never about someone robbing a car, more about the parent getting stuck inside the shop for longer than they thought and the child getting a fright eg because a stranger decides to look in on them. When my dad was sick he was sitting outside a pharmacy while my mum was getting his medication and the car behind hit into them, when the driver’s foot hit the pedal by mistake. You can always say ‘chances are tiny’ but then you can say that about anything and not parent at all!! It’s so lazy-just walk them in, they’re only young for a few years!!!

DSGR · 07/08/2022 19:52

I never take mine in and my youngest is 4. Safer in the car. I do lock the door and leave a window slightly open though

hellotheirsugar · 07/08/2022 19:53

God hell no. My kids stay in the car why I pay, I have 3, 2 are disabled so it physically isn't possible it's a day out in itself loading the car let alone unloading just to pay for petrol that takes about a minute!!!
Aslong as he locks the car what's your big issue ?

stayathomer · 07/08/2022 19:53

It's far more dangerous to have a 4.5 year old out on a petrol forecourt than safely in their seat.
To walk into a shop holding his daddy’s hand? Really? 😅

stayathomer · 07/08/2022 19:54

Sounds like your husband has a better handle on your son's safety than you do.
Jesus

ToastedCrumpetwithCheese · 07/08/2022 19:58

Presuming your husband is the father of the child and the fact he's not actually doing anything wrong, you can't force him to take the child into the petrol station to pay. 70mph on the motorway with a child getting out of their car seat is a much bigger risk than your husband leaving them in the car paying for petrol, I'd be working on the car seat unbuckling as a priority.

However, most people would listen to an anxious partner and try to reach a compromise though, so maybe you could offer to fill up the car on a Sunday night leaving your husband at home with your child?

Darbs76 · 07/08/2022 20:00

If they are locked in I don’t see the issue. I always parked where I could see them. I do agree it would be more dangerous me taking 2 kids out of the car on a forecourt.

unicormb · 07/08/2022 20:02

I always always use pay at pump so this doesn't have to happen. It's everywhere so why not just do that?

MercuryOnTheRise · 07/08/2022 20:04

I just used to think and josh with DH that if someone nicked the car, they'd abandoned it pretty fast. We didn't have a nickable car then. DS was about 18 then Grin

Beautiful3 · 07/08/2022 20:07

I've always done the same as your husband, with both of mine. I could always see them from the garage window.

Figgygal · 07/08/2022 20:07

Yabu hes much safer in car

girlmom21 · 07/08/2022 20:10

thenewduchessoflapland · 07/08/2022 19:51

Can't he use pay at pump?

Can't you read one whole paragraph?

StarDolphins · 07/08/2022 20:16

I leave my 6 year old in the car all the time to pay for fuel!

my friends DS got clipped by a car on a forecourt! Wasn’t hurt as the car was going extremely slow but there are risks everywhere & I see leaving DD locked safely in the car for a tiny amount of time, very low risk.

00100001 · 07/08/2022 20:18

unicormb · 07/08/2022 20:02

I always always use pay at pump so this doesn't have to happen. It's everywhere so why not just do that?

... did you even read the OP?

GG1986 · 07/08/2022 20:22

I would probably look the door, but I dont see any issue with this if he is running into pay and can still see the car. If he was picking up bits.of shopping and couldn't see the car then yes I would have a problem with it. Is there any reason he can't get petrol when child isn't with him?