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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell DH not to leave DS in the car while he pays for petrol?

306 replies

myhouseisafairycastle · 07/08/2022 17:35

DH insists on leaving our 4.5 yo DS in the car when he goes into the petrol station to pay. I have asked him time and again to take DS with him but he still does it. What makes it worse is that the car alarm is sensitive so he leaves the car unlocked otherwise the alarm goes off. DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. For context, we live in a remote rural area so pay at pump doesn’t exist here. He did it again yesterday and I’m fuming.

OP posts:
EquallyDivided · 11/08/2022 11:34

I never once took mine out of the car on a petrol station forecourt, far safer to leave them there while paying.

00100001 · 11/08/2022 12:17

Feetache · 11/08/2022 00:39

I've been Googling and can't find any examples I

It's because there aren't any, the people who claim "what if there's a fire/stolen/rolls away" have watched too many films and completely ignore the fact that driving the car itself is the dangerous act, and they are putting their children at much greater risk driving them to the station, than being at the station.

Blantw · 12/08/2022 15:01

I'm a retired firefighter and I know the dangers a car can present, I never took the chance of leaving my children in the car. I've seen the senseless loss too many times.

JustLyra · 12/08/2022 16:32

Blantw · 12/08/2022 15:01

I'm a retired firefighter and I know the dangers a car can present, I never took the chance of leaving my children in the car. I've seen the senseless loss too many times.

And how many times did you attend the loss of a child on a garage forecourt where they’d been left in the car?

Marvellousmadness · 12/08/2022 16:35

Someone here (Australia) did that a few months ago. Whilst she was paying, her car got stolen. Her baby still in it.

It's ludicrous to leave your kid in the car. EVEN for a few minutes.
especially when he leave the car unlocked. What an idiot. I would call the cops on my own dh if he did it.

Sleepyafternoonsinthesun · 12/08/2022 17:07

Blantw · 12/08/2022 15:01

I'm a retired firefighter and I know the dangers a car can present, I never took the chance of leaving my children in the car. I've seen the senseless loss too many times.

How many children have died or come to serious harm in a car at a petrol station in the UK?

00100001 · 12/08/2022 18:03

Blantw · 12/08/2022 15:01

I'm a retired firefighter and I know the dangers a car can present, I never took the chance of leaving my children in the car. I've seen the senseless loss too many times.

Surely as a firefighter unattended more accidents involving children on the roads than the zero incidents you attended in a petrol station?

00100001 · 12/08/2022 18:06

You attended*

00100001 · 12/08/2022 18:07

Marvellousmadness · 12/08/2022 16:35

Someone here (Australia) did that a few months ago. Whilst she was paying, her car got stolen. Her baby still in it.

It's ludicrous to leave your kid in the car. EVEN for a few minutes.
especially when he leave the car unlocked. What an idiot. I would call the cops on my own dh if he did it.

Did her car still have the keys in the ignition?

Because I doubt very much a locked car with no keys is easy to steal from a forecourt.

And besides, even if that one event did occur, I'll bet there were thousands of thefts that didn't happen.

Bouledeneige · 13/08/2022 15:42

My DC are now 22 and 20. I must have left them in the car hundreds of times without incident as have thousands of responders on here. It's ludicrous to imagine some terrible risk involved.

If parents can't get well behaved kids to stay in their car seats whilst left alone for 5 minutes what hope have they controlling them on the forecourt of a busy petrol station?

StreetwiseHercules · 13/08/2022 16:00

If he is the one with the children at the petrol station it is his decision. It’s telling that you think you can tell him not to leave them in the car. He has the right to make those decisions when he is in sole care, as do you.

if you think it’s wise to take children out of cars and across forecourts into petrol station shops and happy with all the faff that goes with it, that is of course your choice.

saraclara · 13/08/2022 16:09

Petrol station shops are designed so that the staff can see every car, for obvious reasons. So given that DH can watch over the car for the entire time that he's paying, there's virtually no risk at all.

MajorCarolDanvers · 13/08/2022 18:00

Much safer to leave a child in the car than cart them across a forecourt.

I'm with your DH on this and have never taken mine in with me to pay.

I've also never seen anyone else take a child on either.

Murdoch1949 · 13/08/2022 18:23

I pay at the pump. Always.

00100001 · 13/08/2022 19:24

Murdoch1949 · 13/08/2022 18:23

I pay at the pump. Always.

What if there's no pay at pump? Like many petrol stations

Topseyt123 · 14/08/2022 01:55

Murdoch1949 · 13/08/2022 18:23

I pay at the pump. Always.

What would you do if there was no facility to pay at the pump?

Our local fuel station has no pay at the pump facility. You have to go into the shop.

I use pay at the pump if I am at Tesco but even there I have sometimes known the system to break down, meaning that I have to go into the shop to pay anyway.

avamiah · 14/08/2022 02:17

My daughter is 12 now so if she wants a drink or snack she will go in and choose it herself and to be honest she was the same when she was younger but when she was a baby in her car seat my OH would always fill the car up so I was never in that position by myself.
That was one of his good points and trust me he only a couple.😬

Butterfly44 · 14/08/2022 02:20

Most ridiculous post ever. No one does this. Your partner is right and your acting a bit OTT.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/08/2022 22:23

Mumofsend · 07/08/2022 17:38

It's far more dangerous to have a 4.5 year old out on a petrol forecourt than safely in their seat.

This!

EcoCustard · 15/08/2022 22:46

I had 4 under 4 a while back and never once taken my kids out to
pay for diesel at the garage. Also live rurally and only the supermarket one 15 miles away has pay at pump and it doesn’t print receipts, ever. Going in to the shop where kids are out of sight I would get miffed at DH but paying for petrol with cameras on the forecourt and car visible and no keys in I couldn’t get upset with.

norwichmummy123 · 15/08/2022 22:57

Pay at the pump???...,

JustLyra · 15/08/2022 23:01

norwichmummy123 · 15/08/2022 22:57

Pay at the pump???...,

It literally says in the OP ”For context, we live in a remote rural area so pay at pump doesn’t exist here”

Blantw · 17/08/2022 22:58

I've been to car fires with children involved. Therefore they can happen anywhere and that's why I would never leave my kids at anytime. I have been to car fires at petrol stations, thankfully children were not involved. But it is quite obvious that the probabilities are that the situation has occurred

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 17/08/2022 23:11

Blantw · 17/08/2022 22:58

I've been to car fires with children involved. Therefore they can happen anywhere and that's why I would never leave my kids at anytime. I have been to car fires at petrol stations, thankfully children were not involved. But it is quite obvious that the probabilities are that the situation has occurred

Why put a child in a car at all then?

00100001 · 18/08/2022 09:37

Blantw · 17/08/2022 22:58

I've been to car fires with children involved. Therefore they can happen anywhere and that's why I would never leave my kids at anytime. I have been to car fires at petrol stations, thankfully children were not involved. But it is quite obvious that the probabilities are that the situation has occurred

So...you've never attended a car fire at a petrol station where a child was involved then...