Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13

Original poster

To tell DH not to leave DS in the car while he pays for petrol?

306 replies

myhouseisafairycastle · 07/08/2022 17:35

DH insists on leaving our 4.5 yo DS in the car when he goes into the petrol station to pay. I have asked him time and again to take DS with him but he still does it. What makes it worse is that the car alarm is sensitive so he leaves the car unlocked otherwise the alarm goes off. DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. For context, we live in a remote rural area so pay at pump doesn’t exist here. He did it again yesterday and I’m fuming.

OP posts:

HuffleWoof · 07/08/2022 17:47

More dangerous to take him out of the car.

hedgehoglurker · 07/08/2022 17:47

Can he lock the door with the key, so the alarm isn't set? On the rare occasion I couldn't use Pay At Pump and had to have child/children with me, this is what I'd do.

The forecourt is generally deemed far more dangerous, so another one here who thinks he is correct to leave child secured in car, so long as he can see car from shop.

rwalker · 07/08/2022 17:48

Wouldn't even occur to me to take kids out the car. Yes yes there could be a fire or car theft but I think as others said there more chance of him coming to harm on the forecourt than the rare extreme of fire and car theft .
Also pissing about strapping kids in and out when people waiting

MichelleScarn · 07/08/2022 17:48

DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. do you not have childlock on?

ilovepuppies2019 · 07/08/2022 17:49

Surely he has a clear view of the car the entire time that he is paying? If your DC got out of the car then he would see and rush over. It would be best for him to lock the car so that it would be harder for your child to get out but YABVU. THe vast majority of people leave their children in the car for the 1 / 2 minutes it takes to buy petrol. It's more dangerous to take children out of the car and walk them across the station with moving cars. I'm stunned at the poster who never took her children to a petrol station. The point is surely to put petrol in the car so that a journey can continue? It's a reality of life that this will have to happen while children are on the journey. It can't always be pre-planned. OP, let your DH do what he wants within reason when he is driving and taking your DC. It's perfectly reasonable to leave your DC in the car.

hedgehoglurker · 07/08/2022 17:50

MichelleScarn · 07/08/2022 17:48

DS also knows how to let himself sleep out of his car seat and the car. do you not have childlock on?

Exactly. Does he climb into the front where there are no childlocks available?

LastMinuteBreak · 07/08/2022 17:50

My DC got out of the car in a petrol station once and went on to the forecourt whilst I was next to the car pumping petrol. I'd forgotten to lock the door. Either lock the door or your DS goes with, in my opinion.

Abra1d1 · 07/08/2022 17:50

I always left mine in, and also when I went into the village shop quickly (not a big shop--a pint of milk or packet of biscuits): park right outside the window, so I could see the car at all times.

woodhill · 07/08/2022 17:51

I always did this tbh

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/08/2022 17:51

It’s normal.

I’d get the car looked at so the alarm doesn’t go off, but if that’s not possible as long as he’s in vision it’s fine.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 07/08/2022 17:53

I very, very rarely have ever taken DS (5) out of the car to pay. Only really if he needs to stretch his legs, buy a drink, use the loo etc.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 07/08/2022 17:55

YABU. Much safer for them to stay in the car at that age.

Doesn't your car have child-locks?

workiskillingme · 07/08/2022 17:55

Arnaquer · 07/08/2022 17:42

Really? People actually take their children out of the car to pay for petrol? How did my two ever make it to 18 unscathed?

Same as when kids back in the 1970s didn't die when their kids smoked all over them and drove round with them in the boot/left them in the beer garden for hours with a bottle of pop. I'm not saying it's a particularly unsafe thing to do but I can't stand those sort of 'never did my kids any harm' posts when trying to argue why something is safe

ThatsGoingToHurt · 07/08/2022 17:58

I leave my 4 year old and 2 year old strapped in the car whilst I pay for petrol. I normally try to fill up without them but sometimes needs must. I’m not going to wrestle 2 kids and youngest is a bolter across a busy forecourt. However, the kids are strapped it, I explain where I am going and that I am coming back and the car is locked with child locks on.

Munchyseeds2 · 07/08/2022 17:58

Always left mine in the car while I paid
Safer in all sorts of ways, yes things could happen but that would be very unlikely.
I would also not be impressed waiting behind you at the pump while you get him out and then back in again
If you are that worried just make sure one of you goes to fill up the car alone each time

DandyLandy · 07/08/2022 17:59

YABU

and controlling

You don't get to unilaterally decide on how your child is raised or how your husband decides to parent

SweetSakura · 07/08/2022 18:01

Yabu. There's no obviously more safe option here. and he can probably see the car the whole time

SarahSissions · 07/08/2022 18:01

Well I’ve just been shot down in flames on another board for saying that I left my dog in the car in the shaded petrol forecourt this morning with the sunroof and windows open for 5 minutes while I filled up the car (2 mins whilst I was stood next to the vehicle, and probably 3 mins whilst I went in to pay)

so according to mumsnet kids in car at petrol station= ok; dogs not ok

SundayTeatime · 07/08/2022 18:04

I think it would be unusual to take your child out of the car to pay. I’m not saying it’s completely unreasonable, because of course there is rationale behind it, but I would leave mine in the car. It’s a reasonable and appropriate decision by your DH.

bellac11 · 07/08/2022 18:04

SarahSissions · 07/08/2022 18:01

so according to mumsnet kids in car at petrol station= ok; dogs not ok

The other thread is weather and heat related, this thread is general. OP is not asking about this due to the weather, otherwise she would have said so.

I would have thought its fairly obvious that theres nothing wrong with leaving a dog in the car when its colder weather, we used to, with the window open.

Burgoo · 07/08/2022 18:04

There are cameras EVERYWHERE on forecourts. Most abductors aren't hanging around garages waiting for unsuspecting child-leavers.

Your child is more likely to get knocked down going to and from the kiosk than he is sitting, strapped into the car seat.

Put the child-lock on the back doors and leave the kid to it. Its not like he is there for hours on his own. Plus most of the time you can see your car when you are paying anyway.

Dotjones · 07/08/2022 18:05

Statistically your DS is at more risk by being with your DH than he is being left alone in the car. The majority of abuse is done by family members or close friends.

Littleraindrop15 · 07/08/2022 18:05

yabu safer in the car

Laiste · 07/08/2022 18:06

Yep, sorry another YABU here.

I'm very risk averse but i've never taken any of my kids out of the car when paying for petrol. I had 3 under 5 at one point. Imagine wrangling all of them just to go and pay.

With DD4 as a new born i would go out of my way to go to a pay at the pump, but once i chilled out she was a bit older i stopped worrying.

Meltingsocks · 07/08/2022 18:07

YABVU

He's much safer in car. Seriously, WHO is going to steal a car under the watchful eye of many customers , staff etc? That's not how crime works, this isn't gone in 60 seconds 😂

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 12 13