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Friend not speaking to me because I eat eggs

312 replies

Upthebracket22 · 19/07/2022 13:18

I am a lifelong veggie- my parents were 70’s hippies & so I have never eaten meat and was raised vegetarian & I don’t eat dairy either but I am not a vegan as I eat eggs - I find I need the protein & generally benefit from eating them.

my friend turned vegan last year and is really militant- sends me horrible videos of baby chicks having their heads cut off etc. i asked her to stop as it was upsetting & I didn’t feel I needed to justify my dietary choices to anyone and now she’s stopped speaking to me. Says she finds it difficult to engage with anyone who eats animal products.

Aibu to feel upset and also a bit like- go & try to covert some meat eaters if that’s your thing but preaching to the converted anyway - I am already trying my best and have had over 40 years of not eating animals - she’s had a year of it. She’s used language like murderer to me etc.

I do feel really upset about it all to be honest.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 19/07/2022 14:45

Sorry not Covid- Covid vaccine.

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NumericalBlock · 19/07/2022 14:46

I hate this kind of thing. My SIL is the same. For some reason she hasn't turned on Dh and I yet (I'm vegetarian and eat 'plant based' 90% of the time if not more) but she spent Christmas trying to force MIL to watch the videos and calling her and her absolutely lovely grandfather rapists and murderers. She's cut off everybody in the family bar DH, I think living further away and refusing to engage with it she's not bothered yet.

MIL asked us to try keep in touch with her as long as we could despite the way she was treated so we still see them occasionally despite how angry we are for MILs sake (we're concerned she's in an abusive relationship so MIL wants to keep us in touch in case she needs to escape).

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Hutchy16 · 19/07/2022 14:46

Your friend’s behaviour is the reason there is a huge section of the public that hates vegans.

She is being ridiculous, you haven’t done anything to cause any chicks being killed, unless eggs are made from chick bodies and I’m confused 🤣

I personally would give her one single final warning and let her know that you do not want a friendship with a person who would:-

  1. upset you when you’ve asked them not to
  2. force their beliefs onto you - it’s one thing to educate, it’s another to indoctrinate

    then if she does it again, off she pops
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Astrabees · 19/07/2022 14:46

If a large number of people eat a plant based diet once or twice a week that reduces meat and dairy/egg consumption more than an individual giving it up completely. Chances are that once people eat vegan some of the time they will realise the huge aray of tasty food out there and to be made and will do it some more. Blaming and shaming has no place in changing behaviour. The carrot is far better than the stick!

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Hachos2018 · 19/07/2022 14:48

Although I don’t agree with being horrible and nasty to people, try and see it as her just trying to do her bit for the animals. She’s clearly been affected by it enough to go vegan and probably doesn’t understand why someone who’s never eaten meat can still support an ultimately cruel industry… maybe she thinks you’ll be an easy person to convert just simply due to your long history of being veggie. I have been vegan for a long time so I’ve witnessed a few people on the start of their vegan journey and while I found their approach to activism a bit militant I do think it just comes from a place of wanting to help the animals and after a few years, the approach tends to become a little more palatable. I realised a long long time ago that telling people their murderers and attacking them doesn’t get you too far.

You should talk to her and maybe suggest another form of activism .. like joining anonymous for the voiceless.. maybe even find something you can both do to mutually support the animal welfare aspect of it, if that’s something you’re interested in and you do want to save the friendship 💕💕 respect to you my fellow long term plant lover 💕💕

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blebbleb · 19/07/2022 14:49

You dodged a bullet there. Best shot of her

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LoopyLoo1991 · 19/07/2022 14:49

Go no contact, ghost her, report her for stalking and enquire with police if necessary.
It's not worth your mental health to even acknowledge her craziness.

Crazy vegan psycho at my last workplace threw out 30+ lunches from staff fridges - and reusable containers - due to suspected animal products in them. Leaving four she seemed worthy of vegan diet!
Work contract torn up & management had her arrested. This is a small out of town electronics components firm, no takeaways nearby.
Owner closed production down two hours early & ordered in fifty assorted ready meals from town supermarket seven miles away.

Unofficial company policy is now no vegans or militant veggies, no over the top overtly religious types (long story) and no mega Karen's ever, ever, ever.
Not really pc or I suppose really legal but when £14K worth of production is lost due to ten minutes of binning, then owner/boss wasn't being unreasonable & put us over crazy lady.
Miss that place (they downsized due to Covid etc).

Do let your crazy friend's crazy psychoness destroy your beliefs or mental well-being.

David Attenborough states eating animal proteins and products helped our brains triple in size in about 2 million years. WITHOUT animal products she wouldn't have brain TO think about being vegan OR have technology to send you unwanted links ... Checkmate.

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Crunchingleaf · 19/07/2022 14:49

You don’t owe anyone a justification for why you eat eggs OP. There are those who just can’t get by on a 100% vegan diet. We all have to listen to our own bodies and figure out what works for us.
That ‘friend’ is no friend of yours OP.

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Thinkingblonde · 19/07/2022 14:49

There is nothing so militant than than a new convert…to anything. An aunt of mine converted to Catholicism, Dad used to say she’s more Catholic than the pope. She was also bit of a rogue, she stole from the family. She’d confess her sins then go out and do it all again. God must have rolled his eyes at lot.,
Ignore her op, it’s none of her business what you eat.!

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Hutchy16 · 19/07/2022 14:53

TiddleyWink · 19/07/2022 13:48

I’d send her a video of me enjoying a rare steak with an egg on the side and then block her.

(I appreciate that, as a vegetarian, you may prefer to take another approach.)

With a cute picture of a cow in a frame next to the plate haha

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Hachos2018 · 19/07/2022 14:53

Hutchy16 · 19/07/2022 14:46

Your friend’s behaviour is the reason there is a huge section of the public that hates vegans.

She is being ridiculous, you haven’t done anything to cause any chicks being killed, unless eggs are made from chick bodies and I’m confused 🤣

I personally would give her one single final warning and let her know that you do not want a friendship with a person who would:-

  1. upset you when you’ve asked them not to
  2. force their beliefs onto you - it’s one thing to educate, it’s another to indoctrinate

    then if she does it again, off she pops

The egg industry kills male chicks by crushing them alive in machines when they are a few days old 😢 sadly there’s just no use for them as obviously only the females lay eggs and the males will be too small for profit in the meat industry... there are companies like Dermeter that have made a pledge to stop doing this, however, they have been bred in such a way to make them bigger so the males are then just grown to full size before being slaughtered for the meat industry.. hence why both go against the vegan lifestyle. Hope that makes sense 💕🌱

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justasking111 · 19/07/2022 14:56

Upthebracket22 · 19/07/2022 13:18

I am a lifelong veggie- my parents were 70’s hippies & so I have never eaten meat and was raised vegetarian & I don’t eat dairy either but I am not a vegan as I eat eggs - I find I need the protein & generally benefit from eating them.

my friend turned vegan last year and is really militant- sends me horrible videos of baby chicks having their heads cut off etc. i asked her to stop as it was upsetting & I didn’t feel I needed to justify my dietary choices to anyone and now she’s stopped speaking to me. Says she finds it difficult to engage with anyone who eats animal products.

Aibu to feel upset and also a bit like- go & try to covert some meat eaters if that’s your thing but preaching to the converted anyway - I am already trying my best and have had over 40 years of not eating animals - she’s had a year of it. She’s used language like murderer to me etc.

I do feel really upset about it all to be honest.

Someone said that veganism was a trendy lifestyle choice whereas vegetarians made a lifetime commitment. Vegans fall off the wagon more readily. Your EX FRIEND is unpleasant

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WitchWithoutChips · 19/07/2022 14:57

She is a zealot. Back away.

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whenwilliwillibefamous · 19/07/2022 15:01

Says she finds it difficult to engage with anyone who eats animal products.

"I understand, you must do what's right for you"

and then sit back and wait a year or two.

I'm a long-term vegan, and yes egg production is ... not nice at all, but, but, but. It's very difficult to live a life that's perfect in every way. I'm typing this on a mobile phone which probably includes metals from very-non-fair-trade sources. My pensions will be built on investments in all manner of things. I don't volunteer to help old ladies across the road or provide respite care for sick children.

Did you know, by the way, that chickens sometimes eat mice...?

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LoopyLoo1991 · 19/07/2022 15:02

  • DON'T LET ...

    Also why is always women that do this? Boyfriend's second BFF is veggy, is rational and jovial about it & cooks meat products for his three kids. He even jokes that vegans & veggies would be first to get eaten after a plane crash!
    He was ridiculed at their school 30+ years ago & force fed sausages by bullies ... and yet he's not bitter in slightest.
    Most vegans I've met seem so sad all the time & moany. Possibly my perception but seen to much evidence in media to say it isn't a feasible stereotype? Idk
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Hachos2018 · 19/07/2022 15:03

Delphigirl · 19/07/2022 14:28

I have 4 very happy entirely free range chickens, no rooster, who lay me 4 delicious eggs a day, which I always thank them for when I collect them. There is no chopping off heads of chicks involved. They could never be chicks - they are unfertilised eggs. Frankly I would not see any issue with a vegan eating them (I appreciate they generally wouldn’t) as they are naturally produced by happy chickens and would otherwise be thrown away. It is no business of hers whether or not you choose to eat eggs - but videos of chopping heads off chicks is just nothing whatever to do with it. She is no friend if she treats you like that.

Just want to say that any left over eggs can be fed back to the chickens, it helps replace the nutrients they lose and is really good for them 🌱💕

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MangyInseam · 19/07/2022 15:05

She's an idiot. I would ignore her, or if she won't stop actually block her. Which is not something I usually advocate but that is harrasment.

Or maybe send her some videos about the realities of "plant-based" farming. Then she will not be able to eat anything and will become quiet, either from embarrassment or hunger.

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CloseYourEyesAndSee · 19/07/2022 15:08

She sounds like a twat
i bet she gives up and goes back to eating meat in a year or two and the number of chickens she's directly contributed to killing will be thousands of times your number.

(from a vegan)

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Oblomov22 · 19/07/2022 15:09

She sounds a peach.

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Hutchy16 · 19/07/2022 15:09

Hachos2018 · 19/07/2022 14:53

The egg industry kills male chicks by crushing them alive in machines when they are a few days old 😢 sadly there’s just no use for them as obviously only the females lay eggs and the males will be too small for profit in the meat industry... there are companies like Dermeter that have made a pledge to stop doing this, however, they have been bred in such a way to make them bigger so the males are then just grown to full size before being slaughtered for the meat industry.. hence why both go against the vegan lifestyle. Hope that makes sense 💕🌱

I understand that…but her buying eggs doesn’t mean that chicks have to be killed…that is a company’s choice to do. the company could choose not to kill the males, and could utilise them in the meat industry…and yes that is death on an animal, but not because of someone who buys eggs.

The egg industry doesn’t actually have to be the cause of MORE chicken deaths…if the male chicks are moved on appropriately, it would just be a modified supply chain for poultry. Instead of poultry farmers breeding chickens, they could reduce their numbers and take in males from egg farms, or vice versa and egg farms could take female chicks from poultry farms. It’s a lot closer to being sustainable in that way IYGWIM

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IWentAwayIStayedAway · 19/07/2022 15:10

I am vegan and your ex friend sounds like a dick

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Lucia1234 · 19/07/2022 15:10

cheeky mare.......I agree with the other comments, your friend sounds like a nightmare, especially as she is newly converted and you've been a vegetarian for most of your life! My best friend is a vegan and she would never force her convictions on me, I respect her choices and she respects mine.

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MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 19/07/2022 15:11

I've been a vegan for decades. She is a loon. Ignore and forget her.

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OneCup · 19/07/2022 15:15

Anyone shoving their views down your throat whether dietary, political or religious are highly irritating and are better ignored

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dudsville · 19/07/2022 15:17

Both of your lifestyle choices are fine, but forcing hers on others is not.

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