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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend not speaking to me because I eat eggs

312 replies

Upthebracket22 · 19/07/2022 13:18

I am a lifelong veggie- my parents were 70’s hippies & so I have never eaten meat and was raised vegetarian & I don’t eat dairy either but I am not a vegan as I eat eggs - I find I need the protein & generally benefit from eating them.

my friend turned vegan last year and is really militant- sends me horrible videos of baby chicks having their heads cut off etc. i asked her to stop as it was upsetting & I didn’t feel I needed to justify my dietary choices to anyone and now she’s stopped speaking to me. Says she finds it difficult to engage with anyone who eats animal products.

Aibu to feel upset and also a bit like- go & try to covert some meat eaters if that’s your thing but preaching to the converted anyway - I am already trying my best and have had over 40 years of not eating animals - she’s had a year of it. She’s used language like murderer to me etc.

I do feel really upset about it all to be honest.

OP posts:
Marvellousmadness · 19/07/2022 15:22

Your friend is batshit
But yabu for saying you "need" to eat eggs for protein 🤣 and it makes you feel 'healthier '. There is no shame in saying you just like to eat eggs!
And why wouldnt you admit it. You are a veggie. But the laws of your own lifestyle you are 'allowed' to eat eggs.😆

Brefugee · 19/07/2022 15:22

I understand that…but her buying eggs doesn’t mean that chicks have to be killed…that is a company’s choice to do.

until all the egg producers get together and decide not to do this, there will be firms that do indeed shred the male chicks. I'm too lazy hot to look it up but I'm sure there is relatively new EU regulation on this with an end to the practice being mandated.
We only buy eggs from audited companies that don't do this, and judging by the eggs that are left on the shelves late on a Saturday afternoon, so do many many other people. As we have got rid (mostly - i think in the EU completely?) battery cages, we can get rid of this barbaric practice too.

PatternedPinkPlate · 19/07/2022 15:24

send her The Happening movie 🤣

EllaBella41 · 19/07/2022 15:26

She needs to realise some people have specific dietary needs. I eat fish and dairy because I already have a restrictive diet, but would not lecture anyone about meat eating. I think you are well rid of her if she is going to be ridiculous.

rnsaslkih · 19/07/2022 15:28

Feel happy that someone so militant has deleted themselves from your life.

In fact, you should have deleted her. Why would you let someone call you a murderer? I'd have told her to fuck off in response to that comment.

Pasithea · 19/07/2022 15:28

We have chickens, errrrm no I have never chopped off a chicks head, but we do eat our eggs. My chooks have all the farm to explore ( except when bird flu starts. ). They have a lovely life and a lovely tame cockerel to look after them. They have long natural lovely lives and as pain free relaxed palliative care as possible.

SimonaRazowska · 19/07/2022 15:33

Sorry that your lifelong friend has lost the plot

was she always a bit nutty?

not much you can do other than back off big time

latetothefisting · 19/07/2022 15:35

She's bullshitting - bet she somehow manages to "engage" with her boss/older family members/other friends/tradepeople/anyone doing her a favour or it benefits her to be on good terms with who eat animal products - she just thinks she can bully you. I'd use it as a great excuse to get rid of a twat from my life tbh!

ThePumpkinPatch · 19/07/2022 15:37

I'm sick to death of hearing about Veganism. It really is all the rage right now. Hopefully it will stop being trendy soon

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 19/07/2022 15:42

ThePumpkinPatch · 19/07/2022 15:37

I'm sick to death of hearing about Veganism. It really is all the rage right now. Hopefully it will stop being trendy soon

Why open a thread if you're sick of hearing about it?
veganism is here to stay :) which is great for the planet, animals and human health. What we don't need is more smug twats but smug vegans would only be smug about something else if they stopped being vegan. It's a personality issue.

DisforDarkChocolate · 19/07/2022 15:42

Send her some articles about the harm intensive almond, avocado and Soya production does and then block her number.

Eggs are one of the few animal products you can buy local, free range and cruelty free.

Hachos2018 · 19/07/2022 15:47

Hutchy16 · 19/07/2022 15:09

I understand that…but her buying eggs doesn’t mean that chicks have to be killed…that is a company’s choice to do. the company could choose not to kill the males, and could utilise them in the meat industry…and yes that is death on an animal, but not because of someone who buys eggs.

The egg industry doesn’t actually have to be the cause of MORE chicken deaths…if the male chicks are moved on appropriately, it would just be a modified supply chain for poultry. Instead of poultry farmers breeding chickens, they could reduce their numbers and take in males from egg farms, or vice versa and egg farms could take female chicks from poultry farms. It’s a lot closer to being sustainable in that way IYGWIM

I do understand what you mean, but then what about the female hens who are killed after they become no longer profitable for the egg industry? I think simply put its a matter of the egg industry both indirectly and directly killing chickens and ofc then on top of that is the overall animal welfare issue too (caged hens, bad living conditions etc etc) Thus by buying eggs you indirectly support the suffering and death of chickens😭

I really don’t want to cause an argument and hope I’m not coming across as militant. But if you are truly interested in learning more, this guy is super informative and explains it much better than I can. 💕🌱

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/07/2022 15:54

Your mum has a healthy attitude, OP, follow that stance.

There's nothing so annoying as a zealot, whatever the flag being flown. I know plenty of vegans, vegetarians, fasters, everything under the sun and none of them behave like this.

Don't feel badly that your 'friend' has distanced herself from you, she's an idiot but she's done you a favour.

HouseInTheHills · 19/07/2022 16:00

I’d tell her if she doesn’t stop, the friendship is over.

I’m vegan and theres a time and place for talking about these issues. In friendships, unless it’s a conversation that both want to have, it’s not appropriate for vegans or meat eaters to just bombard the other with their views. I’ve seen both ‘sides’ do it and no good comes of it.

She’s just going to destroy the friendship and cause upset but If she only wants friends who are vegans then that’s up to her. Despite what people think though, your friends attitude isn’t a common one in my experience, I have loads of vegan friends and people I know through various campaigning/protests and they’re mostly very compassionate and tolerant. Yes, they want people to not eat animals products, but they know they don’t live in a vegan world and behaving this way doesn’t help and isn’t acceptable. I also have lots of friends that aren’t vegan. I don’t have to agree with every choice they make to be friends.

PerseverancePays · 19/07/2022 16:00

Your ‘friend’ is being an abusive arse. Don’t be around people who are awful to you. Tell her to do one.

PeaceLoveAndCandy · 19/07/2022 16:10

She sounds like an insufferable bore

kateandme · 19/07/2022 16:25

So she doesn’t want to be cruel to animals,but she willing to be cruel to one and make them feel like shit.ie you. Does your life not matter.does she get to make u feel like abused meat!😉
veganism and clean eating has become a dangerous trend right now and it’s just not nice.or actually ironically healthy. The wellness,diet culture in our society at the moment is making disorders eating and food rules become normal. It’s f* up.
op this isn’t nice.nor is she if she tests you like this.you can eat meat and or eat eggs.it does not make you any less worthy.

LadyHermione · 19/07/2022 16:26

TiddleyWink · 19/07/2022 13:50

‘Dear friend, I understand that your extreme behaviour is a mark of the guilt you’re feeling for eating meat and animal products for the last forty years instead of being at least veggie like me, but I find the content you’re sending me very offensive and upsetting. Perhaps make peace with your carnivorous past and calm the fuck down you twisted weirdo’.

Then block.

^ This!

theoldhasgone · 19/07/2022 16:26

S

theoldhasgone · 19/07/2022 16:26

She's been radicalised.

FarmGirl78 · 19/07/2022 16:26

But she is engaging with someone who eats animal products. She's engaging nastily with you. No need.

Ask her if she doesn't like eating anything derived from animals why she expects you to eat such horseshit.

LadyHermione · 19/07/2022 16:31

Hutchy16 · 19/07/2022 15:09

I understand that…but her buying eggs doesn’t mean that chicks have to be killed…that is a company’s choice to do. the company could choose not to kill the males, and could utilise them in the meat industry…and yes that is death on an animal, but not because of someone who buys eggs.

The egg industry doesn’t actually have to be the cause of MORE chicken deaths…if the male chicks are moved on appropriately, it would just be a modified supply chain for poultry. Instead of poultry farmers breeding chickens, they could reduce their numbers and take in males from egg farms, or vice versa and egg farms could take female chicks from poultry farms. It’s a lot closer to being sustainable in that way IYGWIM

Is this really doable, though? From my experience, cockerels fight each other a LOT, so free range/barn raised would be impossible: they’d have to be caged separately and have beaks clipped - at which point I’d argue that two seconds of agony sliding down a metal chute into a grinder is preferable to a life of misery. Maybe that makes me brutal, I don’t know.

BlodynGwyn · 19/07/2022 16:32

My hens are living a good life and they'll die of old age. I'm also an egg eating vegetarian.

elfycat · 19/07/2022 16:36

At least she is vegan. I was once lectured on the merits of veganism, by someone who had 15 minutes before eaten a Weatherspoons full breakfast with all the meat.

He intended to become vegan, presumably once he finished digesting.

I couldn't help myself - to be fair I don't like this man at all - I stood up and told him how hypocritical he was, and for every time I heard him say he was a vegan, while his stomach was filled with meat-soup, it would be another month of total veganism on his part before I wouldn't call him out on it. He was at three month already. Then I moved to another table.

I eat meat, less than I used to and some days are vegan. But I won't be lectured on it (particularly not by a hypocrite). Let her ghost you, and ghost her back.

PoseyFlump · 19/07/2022 16:37

Ask her to adopt some rescue hens so you can eat the eggs. Many vegans rescue hens and take them out of the food chain cycle.

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