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Friend not speaking to me because I eat eggs

312 replies

Upthebracket22 · 19/07/2022 13:18

I am a lifelong veggie- my parents were 70’s hippies & so I have never eaten meat and was raised vegetarian & I don’t eat dairy either but I am not a vegan as I eat eggs - I find I need the protein & generally benefit from eating them.

my friend turned vegan last year and is really militant- sends me horrible videos of baby chicks having their heads cut off etc. i asked her to stop as it was upsetting & I didn’t feel I needed to justify my dietary choices to anyone and now she’s stopped speaking to me. Says she finds it difficult to engage with anyone who eats animal products.

Aibu to feel upset and also a bit like- go & try to covert some meat eaters if that’s your thing but preaching to the converted anyway - I am already trying my best and have had over 40 years of not eating animals - she’s had a year of it. She’s used language like murderer to me etc.

I do feel really upset about it all to be honest.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Herejustforthisone · 19/07/2022 14:11

I am already trying my best and have had over 40 years of not eating animals - she’s had a year of it

I’d point this out and follow it up with a good blocking and leave the daft twat to it.

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SVRT19674 · 19/07/2022 14:16

OH, I had a friend, a good friend till then, who went from ferocious carnivore to vegetarian. I am an omnivore, but seldom eat red meat, but enjoy my ham and poultry. He also started the preaching, inviting us to eat and substituting certain foods for others to catch us not noticing blah blah blah. I did have to point out to him that all the meat he had eat in his life far far far outdid any I have eaten, and up until then it was difficult to convince him to eat a vegetable. So, I see it now as the point where our friendship started to go awry. We each went our own way some years later when again he could not understand that different people make different choices. So be it.

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AdoraBell · 19/07/2022 14:18

She’s no longer a friend, move on with actual friends.

My DD was vegan for a while, she asked if I minded because I do all the cooking. I told her the only thing she couldn’t do is be militant and dictating to other people. I’ve had enough of that from SIL.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 19/07/2022 14:19

I’d say you know my ex SIL but she’s been like this a while longer. Like you I was raised veggie, was vegan for a few years, still eat vegan more than not, bringing DD up veggie and got a load of this shit from her when she converted and got extremely zealous. I did tell her I had nothing to prove to anyone and was happy with my choices, muted her on fb and told her to stop preaching to me by message and in person. She’d been eating blue steak and veal till she found the light…

She fell out with loads of people and her circle eventually only included fellow hardline believers which made her worse and worse, it’s like a purity spiral.

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5YearsLeft · 19/07/2022 14:20

The zeal of the convert.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeal_of_the_convert
All you can do is be glad she’s sticking with veganism; if this is how she approaches things, she could be a danger to public welfare if she discovers new religious beliefs. And the last thing any religion needs is converts that ostracize the general public and focus on extremism.

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RosieTheHat · 19/07/2022 14:20

Your friend is being unreasonable. This kind of 'militant vegan' behaviour is what gives vegans a bad name.
I am vegan, but that is my choice just like it is your choice to eat eggs.

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AlwaysLatte · 19/07/2022 14:22

I honestly think her not speaking to you has saved you a job!

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PinkButtercups · 19/07/2022 14:22

She's a knob and she is what gives vegans a bad name. Most vegans go about their business without mentioning it to others.

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Lobelia123 · 19/07/2022 14:22

Shes a class A hypocrite. If she only went vegan last year and youve been almost 99% vegan all your life, shes eaten so much meat in her life that a few eggs on your part does not even touch sides to her meat consumption. What a pratt.

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GreenManalishi · 19/07/2022 14:25

She's lost all perspective and that is going to make it hard to continue a friendship, if she doesn't calm herself down pretty quickly, if at all. I had a situation when a very close friend flipped in this way, and it just turned me right off. She did calm down in time, was fully apologetic, realised how she'd behaved, and made several attempts to make contact. Unfortunately for me, someone that is capable of this kind of twattery is not someone I'm willing to have around. I was polite and just kicked the offer to meet up down the road and eventually she got the message. You have to draw a line here I think.

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RaggedBlousedPhilanthropist · 19/07/2022 14:27

This seems to be a common problem these days.
rather than just agreeing to disagree, when someone holds a strongly held opinion they have to get everyone else to change or else they can’t be friends.

it’s very childish.

and incidentally if you’re buying free range eggs, nothing died or suffered for your omelette, so just ignore.

you get extremists in all walks of life, whether it’s food, religion or politics.

most grown ups tend to just respect each other’s life choices!

it sounds like she might be doing you a favour if she won’t talk to you for not bending to her POV.

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Delphigirl · 19/07/2022 14:28

I have 4 very happy entirely free range chickens, no rooster, who lay me 4 delicious eggs a day, which I always thank them for when I collect them. There is no chopping off heads of chicks involved. They could never be chicks - they are unfertilised eggs. Frankly I would not see any issue with a vegan eating them (I appreciate they generally wouldn’t) as they are naturally produced by happy chickens and would otherwise be thrown away. It is no business of hers whether or not you choose to eat eggs - but videos of chopping heads off chicks is just nothing whatever to do with it. She is no friend if she treats you like that.

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Brefugee · 19/07/2022 14:29

what does she bring to your life that you put up with her behaviour? Tell her to stop. If she doesn't mute her on all social media for 30 days and see how your life improves. Then block.

I'm uncomfortable about chick shredding so i buy eggs from audited companies that don't do that. There are many (here in Germany, anyway) or i buy them from the farm in my village (not available to everyone i know)

Or just smile and say "ah yes, that new vegan phase, it's similar to the newly in love phase when you just want to tell everyone" then smile patronisingly and walk away.

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skyeisthelimit · 19/07/2022 14:30

I would block her. She is entitled to make her own life choices, but she doesn't get to make yours for you.

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CrapBag39 · 19/07/2022 14:31

The only response you need is “bye then!” And block. She’s not your friend, don’t waste any more brain space on her.

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AffIt · 19/07/2022 14:32

Ah, the sanctimony of the recent convert.

I'm vegetarian and have been for a long time, although I eat lacto-ovo at home (because I know exactly where my eggs and dairy come from).

In the wise words of other PPs, I would tell her to get fucked, or go and preach to some big omni man about the error of his meat-eating ways.

People are generally less effusive about harassing their targets when they're not easy.

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Mariposista · 19/07/2022 14:37

She is ridiculous. You can eat whatever you want to eat and she has no right to send you upsetting videos. Cut contact now!

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iloveeverykindofcat · 19/07/2022 14:37

I'm vegan and absolutely stand by the idea that we need billions of people doing veganism imperfectly, not thousands doing it perfectly. I bet your lifetime carbon footprint is smaller than hers if you've never eaten meat.

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WhenDovesFly · 19/07/2022 14:39

I hate it when someone wants you to respect their views, but they don't respect that yours may be different. So one sided.

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SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 19/07/2022 14:40

TibetanTerrah · 19/07/2022 13:37

Send her this vm.tiktok.com/ZMNHW9Ggn/?k=1

*no idea how true it is but it made me think.

I recently gave up eggs but it took me a long time after seeing the videos because like you I see the nutritional value. I absolutely hate industrial animal and dairy and egg farming but until there's a solid substitute nutritionally I will continue eating meat and cheese.

It does stop you doesn't it?

I had a similar discussion about vegan boots. My old leather boots are about 15 years old, have been mended and patched an are still going strong. When they eventually fall to pieces they will mostly decompose in about 35 years.

Vegan boots? Well, they are wholly synthetic and the synthetic material won't ever go away, will become part of the micro plastic pollution that is with us to stay. Let alone the additional costs of manufacture, as they don't last as long, can't be mended as well.

There is a discussion to be had. A very long and detailed discussion. But Neo Vegans are constantly whittling away at the patience of anyone who might have been prepared to listen.

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Confusion101 · 19/07/2022 14:43

Delphigirl · 19/07/2022 14:28

I have 4 very happy entirely free range chickens, no rooster, who lay me 4 delicious eggs a day, which I always thank them for when I collect them. There is no chopping off heads of chicks involved. They could never be chicks - they are unfertilised eggs. Frankly I would not see any issue with a vegan eating them (I appreciate they generally wouldn’t) as they are naturally produced by happy chickens and would otherwise be thrown away. It is no business of hers whether or not you choose to eat eggs - but videos of chopping heads off chicks is just nothing whatever to do with it. She is no friend if she treats you like that.

This though... Why is nobody screaming this at her??? Buy free range, no harm being done!! They would never become chicks. So not only is she forcing her opinion on other people and loosing a friend over it, she is also terribly terribly wrong!!

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AllFreeOwls · 19/07/2022 14:43

There's nothing like the zeal of the newly converted.

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teaandtoastwithmarmite · 19/07/2022 14:43

I've had similar from my friend of 40 years regarding Covid. Sending me pictures of people dying or having strokes. Kids in wheelchairs 'caused by Covid'. It's tragic but I realised she wasn't behaving like a friend anymore.

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tithonia · 19/07/2022 14:44

I voted YABU because of your line about going and converting meat-eaters. Can you not see how hypocritical that is? You're doing what you feel is best for you, which means eating eggs. That's fine, but so is someone else eating meat and dairy.

Your friend is ridiculous, though, YANBU about that. Let her go. Why would you want someone like that as a friend, anyway?

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fyn · 19/07/2022 14:44

I know a few lifelong vegans, some 50+ years, that eat eggs. They are eggs from their own chickens they rescue from going to the abattoir. Once they stop laying they live out their lives on their smallholdings. Their is absolutely no suffering or cruelty at all. The eggs are produced whatever happens, they’d just go to waste otherwise.

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