AIBU to make an official complaint about cashier telling me to lose weight?

[LMCOA]

On Saturday, I needed to return some jeans to my local well-known supermarket, as they were too small.

I smiled, handed them over to the cashier and said "Could I please have a refund on these, unfortunately they don't fit".

She took them, laughed and said "You should lose weight then."

I kind of giggled in embarrassment, and got away as quickly as I could. I was very, VERY upset and had an awful weekend. I have BPD so I don't know if my reaction was a normal one, because I don't always have 'normal' reactions.

I'm 42, size 20, struggling with an autoimmune issue (which the doctors can't pin down) and menopausal. I am TRYING to lose weight but it's just not happening at the moment. Her comment broke me.

My friends are encouraging me to make a formal complaint.

What do you lot think?

Don’t worry - I will hide the thread so you can wax lyrical

fact is - yes the op should have raised, as she did, as clearly very upset.
but to think that the employee would be disciplined on the basis of one customer’s word unless it followed other complaints is laughable.

tagged on to end of a staff meeting that not to comment on personal appearance, and the personally raised with said employee of raised a second time
And a bland apology to the OP

job done

I am obese - I know it, and I am struggling with it - it is complicated by depression and long covid. If someone made a comment like that to me, @LMCOA, I would be utterly devastated. Frankly, I know I need to lose weight - I don't need some stranger telling me, as if it's news to me.

There are plenty of things she could have said - "We have that in different sizes, if that would help" or "I'm sorry they don't fit - we do have other jeans that are cut differently - maybe they would be better" or simply "Certainly - I'll process that refund for you" - her comment was not what I would expect from retail staff and does not sound like good customer service to me.

It is possible that it was an 'engage mouth before engaging brain' moment, and she was horrified when she realised what she had said, but it was too late by then and you'd gone.

Either way, I think an email to the store is perfectly reasonable - in your position, I'd want an apology from the store, and for them to remind their staff not to make personal comments about people's weight or appearance (though I guess they won't be able to go into detail about that part of it).

It was your comment that was deleted 😂

@Ohthatsexciting then you're confusing me with someone else because I haven't started such a thread.

This is the best 🤣🤣

This thread should be shown to anyone wishing to take part in the AIBU forum so they can decide if they still want to.

The amount of stick the OP has been given - people giving her grief for wanting the cashier sacked when she said not such thing. accusing her of making it up (based on what?), other posters getting grief for unrelated threads they may or may not have started. Honestly, awful. And no, I don't agree with posts where the cashier was called names, but to be the best of our knowledge she is not aware of the thread. The OP is, and is getting such a shit time from people who just want to argue for the sake of it.

This is why I would never start a thread on AIBU.

Couldn't agree more

This is a very important point.
I will definitely think twice in future about posting. If I can get so much crap thrown at me when I've clearly said that I have a MH condition, and that I'm struggling with my emotions at the moment, I dread to think what these people would have been like if I hadn't mentioned my MH.

I posted another thread a few weeks back, about a bird being kicked in a train station. I was accused of making that up, too, just as I have been here. Though I really don't know what they think I would gain from making things like this up.

However, all that said, I am blown away by the kindness of the majority of people, including yourself.

The other issue with AIBU is that the trashy tabloids trawl through it looking for anything they can make a 'story' about on their social media pages.

I don't know who originally accused MN of being a 'nest of vipers' but I would put money on them referring to AIBU in particular...