AIBU to make an official complaint about cashier telling me to lose weight?

[LMCOA]

On Saturday, I needed to return some jeans to my local well-known supermarket, as they were too small.

I smiled, handed them over to the cashier and said "Could I please have a refund on these, unfortunately they don't fit".

She took them, laughed and said "You should lose weight then."

I kind of giggled in embarrassment, and got away as quickly as I could. I was very, VERY upset and had an awful weekend. I have BPD so I don't know if my reaction was a normal one, because I don't always have 'normal' reactions.

I'm 42, size 20, struggling with an autoimmune issue (which the doctors can't pin down) and menopausal. I am TRYING to lose weight but it's just not happening at the moment. Her comment broke me.

My friends are encouraging me to make a formal complaint.

What do you lot think?

Such an appropriate user name, you are an arse. The shop assistant was rude and cruel, 100% OP has the right to complain.

You giving her an amateur psychology session on her feelings about her weight is also cruel. Let's hope you don't have a customer facing role.

Once a risky remark leaves your lips, it’s completely out of your hands how the other person will take it. People are perfectly within their rights to be hurt by thoughtless comments like that, whether it was intended to be a harmless joke or not.

Surely you’re aware of the social stigma that overweight people, particularly women, face on the daily. Couple this with the expectation that cashiers should be polite when serving customers, as it’s a key part of their job role, and I think OP is more than entitled to make a complaint.

@Ohthatsexciting So then a retail worker has the right to be rude or voice an opinion of a customer to that customer?
If the op had gone into a fast food outlet and ordered say a burger and chips with a milkshake, it would be fine for the assistant to say ' aren't you fat enough, have a salad instead '?
Of course it wouldn't!
No one has the right to insult a customer or even give an unasked for opinion, particularly one of such a personal nature.

Op, unfortunately mumsnet has a few resident mean girls who hang out on threads making bitchy comments to people who are already down. Ignore them, it's sad really.

She will get sacked.

And you know this how?

Yes complain. Outrageous thing to say. Keep it simple, express your upset and discomfort and that it impacts on your willingness to shop there again.

ignore the bonkers goady posters

What a bullying bitch

Are you the cashier?! On what planet is this acceptable customer service?!?

OP - ignore this poster as they are trolling

You said they didn't fit, that could have meant they were too long in the leg or too big around the waist. The cashier had no idea why they didn't fit you so her comment was inappropriate. I would complain as this might not be the first time the cashier has been rude to a customer.

I work in customer service in a large supermarket and none of our staff would ever had said this! ☹️ How bloody rude! Make a complaint as our manager would have kicked our arses out of the door for this... How bloody dare she! Total bitch! 😠 You and customer's like you pay our bloody wages! So sorry this happened to you. 😢

"I remember a good few years ago when I was visiting the UK and I went to the post office to exchange some Euros for sterling and the woman serving me said ' you would be better hanging on to these, but I suppose you need the money ' I tore a strip off her there and then and then wrote a strong letter of complaint to the manager."

Wow. This doesn't sound like a bad thing to say at all to me. Do you think she was suggesting you were poor? Sounds like she was trying to say that euros are worth more (was this when the pound was low) but that you might need the money in sterling straight away, as anyone might.

It was an unpleasant thing to say, but expressing an opinion is not a sackable offence.

Genuinely astounded by some of these comments.

Well, sometimes it is.

Insulting a customer is a pretty clear demonstration that the person doesn’t have the requisite skills to work in customer service. Why shouldn’t they sack someone who is incapable of doing their job? This behaviour has probably lost them business.

How bloody rude! Make a complaint as our manager would have kicked our arses out of the door for this...

With absolutely no proof whatsoever?

The OP has said no other members of staff were there to witness it and any customers who may have overheard, are long gone.

I agree with Gwenhwyfar's interpretation of this. Awful behaviour in any case to 'tear a strip off' a customer services person unless they've actually hurled an insult at you or something.

Not. A. Chance.

i reckon it will just be raised generally in a staff meeting that you don’t comment on customer’s personal appearance

and that will be the long and short of the “consequence”

This depends on how you define an 'insult'. If you don't buy into the whole 'thin is good/fat is bad' idea telling someone factually that they would need to lose weight to fit into a particular pair of jeans is not an 'insult'.

It's a personal remark, which is an unpleasant thing, but not grounds to sack someone unless there are wider issues.

Yeah, that's fucking awful. No-one should be saying to anyone 'oh maybe you should lose weight', especially not a cashier who should be helping you.

I worked in retail for years and just because a customer said something happened, doesn't mean it did. To fire someone you'd have to have proof and follow proper procedure. Unless another staff member heard what was said and will say that in a disciplinary, it is OP's word against the employee.

Now if the employee has lots of complaints then that might trigger some action but other then that, the employee will be believed if they said the complaint was not true.

I don't believe this happened.

@Gwenhwyfar Yes, it was a few years ago when the pound was low, however she shouldn't have followed her comment up with what she said.

It was her assumption that OP needed to lose weight to fit into them. She didn’t say it from any factual knowledge. All she had was that OP said they didn’t fit, not that they were too small. They could have been too big, long or short or the wrong shape. That needless assumption was hurtful to OP, hence insult.