AIBU to make an official complaint about cashier telling me to lose weight?

[LMCOA]

On Saturday, I needed to return some jeans to my local well-known supermarket, as they were too small.

I smiled, handed them over to the cashier and said "Could I please have a refund on these, unfortunately they don't fit".

She took them, laughed and said "You should lose weight then."

I kind of giggled in embarrassment, and got away as quickly as I could. I was very, VERY upset and had an awful weekend. I have BPD so I don't know if my reaction was a normal one, because I don't always have 'normal' reactions.

I'm 42, size 20, struggling with an autoimmune issue (which the doctors can't pin down) and menopausal. I am TRYING to lose weight but it's just not happening at the moment. Her comment broke me.

My friends are encouraging me to make a formal complaint.

What do you lot think?

Yeah, that's neither ageism nor classism. Stereotyping possibly. Prejudice, not at all.

You’re an inspiration to us all 😂

supporting the op but “tearing down” anyone who disagrees with her

Thanks hun 😘

@ludocris You describe a scenario of a child being bullied and then say the op wasn't bullied. So like you say, they're not the same. The op was embarrassed and giggled. I understand why she laughed. But she's an adult, not the child of your scenario, and just as the member of staff is accountable for her actions, so is the op. I never said she couldn't or shouldn't complain. What I said was that by laughing she led the staff member to believe that what she said was OK and that the conversation was acceptable on both sides. I believe that is unfair. So I guess both were unfair on the other. I just think that as adults we can all learn to handle things differently, hopefully better, as we go along. That's all.

As for your swearing, you did it for effect. You might have been gobsmacked but you could have edited yourself. Instead you used 'fucking' twice to have an influence on me. I'm not bothered that you did it, it just don't think that swearing strengthens an argument.

I don't swear for your benefit. And for the record, condescension is equally ineffective as a method of strengthening your argument.

It’s almost as though this thread has become an intrusive thought

I'd suggest having a lie down.

Yes I would take seriously your advice re disturbing intrusive thoughts…. so cheers!

If it's not for anyone benefit, then what's the purpose of it? If it's to convey how gobsmacked you are, then m just saying it's unimpactful.
I'm not interested in strengthening anything. I've just said what I think and analogies of a child being bullied when the op is neither a child nor, according to you, being bullied, strangely doesn't change my mind either.

Well if she led the assistant to think the comment was acceptable by laughing, then vest she corrects that by complaining? Then the assistant is no longer misled?

@SmartCarDriver
Well if she led the assistant to think the comment was acceptable by laughing, then vest she corrects that by complaining? Then the assistant is no longer misled?

Where have I said that she shouldn't complain? I said that the comment was insensitive and the staff member was wrong and she had the right to complain.
I just believe that it's better not to create a wrong impression rather than creating one and having to correct it. You, of course, might prefer it the other way round.

Unlike the cashier who could have created the right impression in the first place by not commenting on the customer's weight of course.

What's the purpose of saying any words? 😵‍💫

Are you ok

Unlike the cashier who could have created the right impression in the first place by not commenting on the customer's weight of course.

I've already said, several times, she was in the wrong. 🤷

But @ludocris glosses over that. And has done throughout the thread.
Unless unequivocally black and white in support of the Op - this poster will pick you up and run with you!!

I have literally no idea what you're talking about.

As an overweight, menopausal woman, I feel your pain, I would feel absolutely devastated. Put a complaint in but don't mention disciplinary action, that's OTT.

Oh wait, I do know what you're talking about. You've seen that I've posted on a thread by a pregnant woman who was discussing having distressing intrusive thoughts, and I posted in sympathy as someone with experience of OCD.

What the fuck type of person decides to comb through a forum looking for anything they can throw at a poster they disagree with, finds that they have commented on having a mental health condition, and thinks 'winner! I'll make some snidey remarks about this, that'll teach them!'

You are a seriously messed up individual.

What's the purpose of saying any words? 😵‍💫

I would say if you're not using an expletive for some sort of effect, which is your stated position, then don't use it. If you use it generally then it becomes your baseline language and has no effect anyway.
But I guess your question was rhetoric.

It wasn’t that one

i was on the thread itsel that you started about your OCD, intrusive thoughts and extreme anxiety!

Nicely put

So curious about what you said during having a tizz that was deleted!! 😂