AIBU to make an official complaint about cashier telling me to lose weight?

[LMCOA]

On Saturday, I needed to return some jeans to my local well-known supermarket, as they were too small.

I smiled, handed them over to the cashier and said "Could I please have a refund on these, unfortunately they don't fit".

She took them, laughed and said "You should lose weight then."

I kind of giggled in embarrassment, and got away as quickly as I could. I was very, VERY upset and had an awful weekend. I have BPD so I don't know if my reaction was a normal one, because I don't always have 'normal' reactions.

I'm 42, size 20, struggling with an autoimmune issue (which the doctors can't pin down) and menopausal. I am TRYING to lose weight but it's just not happening at the moment. Her comment broke me.

My friends are encouraging me to make a formal complaint.

What do you lot think?

Op isn't the one who needs to get over herself.

@LMCOA Tell us what shop this was.

Just to say, what I would say is "I want to know that disciplinary action is going to be taken" not "what"...

"Excuse me Sarah, but we've had a complaint that you told a customer to lose weight last Saturday when she returned some jeans?"

"Errr no I didn't".

"Ok Sarah, we as no-one else heard it either we'll leave it at that, sorry to bother you".

There's literally no other way that conversation can go.

So that the shop at least knows, you could drop a letter to the manager saying you don’t want to name names but ‘one of the cashiers said X and in this day and age body shaming is unacceptable and could they please remind all staff that it is hurtful and inappropriate’

What Worra says.

If it's of any consolation they probably were only joking however I would still complain about it. It's the type of comment that could upset a lot of people.

They won't even tell you that.

@ladydimitrescu

Do expand.

People are entitled to say what they want. Also you have no idea of the way in which OP said "they don't fit" - was she already hinting at "I need to lose some weight" as I thought I would fit in these? The interaction is presented as factually rude but it may have been quite different to presented, especially since OP says she does not read situations perfectly.

Mark it down as experience, and ask yourself why it bothered you so much, and stop deflecting everything off to a retail worker who probably already takes a load of shit from the General Public

They did say something factually correct, as you have admitted. And to have them fired / disciplined over this is incredibly juvenile

Oh give me a break. Telling a customer they should lose weight is 'factually correct' and therefore a-okay?

MN is full of fools these days.

I agree that it's pointless asking what disciplinary action will be taken.

Was anyone there to witness it, could be one word against another.

Unless they've had previous similar complaints about Sarah and a pattern is noticed.

Wow, you sound like an absolute delight.

A paid employee in a customer facing role is NOT entitled to say that they want. What utter rubbish.

Also, how is "They don't fit" me hinting at anything. They could have been too big. They could have been for someone else.

Unless they've had previous similar complaints about Sarah and a pattern is noticed.

They would still need a witness.

You can't just go around making accusations and expect disciplinary proceedings to ensue as a result.

I don’t get people saying what do you want from this
surely it is for someone to speak to her and say it’s not appropriate for you to make comments about other peoples bodies, so Please don’t.

how else will she be educated on that. After a warning at work she’s unlikely to feel so strongly that she needs to tell someone else her opinions on their weight.

they won’t tell you about disciplinary though op so don’t waste your time with that

Absolutely complain. That is shocking.

I'm sorry you were treated this way.

They aren't entitled to insult customers.

Bizarre comment.

You can make a complaint but its highly unlikely that person will be sacked. Strange thing to say to a customer, maybe she meant it as a joke.
If you do complain and the manager pulls the colleague up and the colleague denies all knowledge there's not much they can do .
Just take a packet of kippers out of their display fridge and conceal it somewhere in the shop where it will be difficult to locate. That will be your revenge when they are frantically trying to find out where the atrocious smell is coming from 🤣🤣🤣

If you were 100% totally fine with things, this wouldn't even be an insult - your reply could have been "god I know, I really do need to lose some weight" (like you have said here) And you have a normal chat about how hard it is to lose weight. It's not like most of the population don't know how to have a normal conversation about these things - we all have to think about our weight.

Your reaction is the thing in your control, but deflecting your anger to her is just futile.

Unless they've had previous similar complaints about Sarah and a pattern is noticed.
Exactly, I've managed people in customer service roles before who were rude. It was important that we got that feedback so we could address it with the person. We often couldn't do anything about an individual complaint but we could address things if we got multiple complaints and it became obvious there was a pattern and therefore a problem.

yeah dont bother op according to pp they wont do anything so no point

next time something happens just keep your mouth shut

ffs

Is there any chance she was empathising with you, as someone who also thinks she needs to lose weight?

Why are you pretending that a retail worker saying to a customer 'you should lose weight' is a fine and unremarkable thing?

You don't seem very fine.

I doubt it.

I recently complained to a bar when it turned out that someone had served me a vodka and tonic when I asked for a plain tonic. I couldn't taste the vodka and had no idea until I went to pay the bar tab.

They took it very seriously.