Finger in bum

[Scentedstock]

Is it me or are men becoming increasingly pornsick?

I met a man yesterday for drinks and decided to go back to mines. I was sexually attracted to him, felt safe but knew a relationship would not be on the cards (incompatible). I was horny so went ahead for shag - something about the summer heat.

Sex was great - hot and steamy BUT during the heat of it all he put his finger in my bum. No discussion. I asked him about it and he said ‘woman like it - do you want me to stop?’ To which he immediately did.

is it just me or are men becoming increasingly blatant with these porn type moves when you have only just met? Maybe I am naive. AIBU to feel men should stop pulling these weird moves during a fling. It just seems to expected now a days. I just want a bit of missionary and a glass of wine to liven up my weekend - not feel like an extra in a porn movie.

Likely to have a very sore arse and a prolapse one day.

The subject came up with the nurse friend because of current partner who’s X shits herself regularly due to the fact that she’s rather partial. Apparently it’s very common.

‘Very common’, ‘likely’…
funny the Mayo clinic doesn’t mention it as a risk factor, so…
www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/rectal-prolapse/symptoms-causes/syc-20352837

Your friend the nurse should know how dangerous it is for professionals to casually throw around phrases like ‘very common’ when they’re not actually true.

@sammylady37 given the number of people that she sees in A&E on a weekly basis with things that they have fallen over landed on and they’ve gone up their bottoms for her to retrieve I’m afraid I’m gonna take her word for it rather than have a crack myself, excuse the pun.

The plural of ‘anecdote’ is not ‘data’, as the saying goes. Everyone who has worked in ED has loads of these type of stories, it doesn’t make their claims about anal sex very commonly leading to prolapse true, though.

My 30 second Google search gave me data that I can supply you with all day long but the facts are that women have a weaker sphincter muscles
and therefore are more likely to have issues with prolonged stretching. That might be caused by constipation, sticking a dick up it or vase actually isnt unheard of apparently.

more fibre and less objects seems like a natural cure. Or you could spend your old-age walking around with shit dripping out of you, anything goes these days.

We can all do Google searches however I have a medical degree so I tend to rely on that more than Dr Google. But it’s absolutely not true to say that it’s ‘very common’ to get a prolapse from regular anal sex.

And I note you never addressed the point I made pulling you up on your ridiculous comment about men who want anal sex bring closeted gays… how do you account for women who like anal if that’s the case?

I would have kicked him in the face

What’s with the slut shaming?

So you don't realise you can get HPV, herpes and genital warts even when using condoms? Awkward.

SHE is slut shaming HIM!

Imagine if a man had come on here and written this about a woman:
is it just me or are men becoming increasingly blatant with these porn type moves when you have only just met? Maybe I am naive. AIBU to feel men should stop pulling these weird moves during a fling. It just seems to expected now a days. I just want a bit of missionary and a glass of wine to liven up my weekend - not feel like an extra in a porn movie.

no she is calling him for doing something without consent - that's NOT the same thing at all - slut shaming (as you are repeatedly doing) is assuming all women who have sex on the first date (usually longer than 5 mins btw) are consenting to everything because they are obviously somehow morally corrupt but also because there is some arbitery time limit in your head about when it becomes to actually respect a woman's wishes and feelings - anyone engaging in sex has the right to be treated respectfully and to consent to sexual acts regardless of how long they have known someone or how quickly they engage in sex

Yes I am painfully (really") aware of that - thanks to a cheating long term partner - never caught anything from a ONS - awkward? No not really

SHE is slut shaming HIM!

pixie5121 - are you still going? And what are you drinking? 🤣🤯

The poster I quoted was slut shaming the op, claiming that because she had sex on the first date she couldn’t ‘hold the moral high ground’. How fucking dare that poster say that? Consenting to vaginal intercourse does not equal consenting to anal penetration, be that by a finger, penis or other object. This is a very simple fact, one that everyone should be able to understand.
but it seems some are happy to write the op off as a slut who deserves what she got, eh?

She's not she's moving too fast and trying to insert his finger up her bum without checking she's OK with it shaming

Woah. So posters are slut shaming the OP...whilst also suggesting she should be fine with some bloke unexpectedly shoving his finger up her bum. Can you make it make sense, please??

I remember when men would ask if they could kiss you. Now it's straight to finger up the bum without a second thought. Horrible.

YADNBU OP and I really hope you get your straightforward missionary shag!

sammylady37

no one is saying that because the OP sleeps with randoms they can do what they like.

we are just saying that it’s a bit rich for someone who fucks random strangers to clutch her pearls and imply that a bloke who wants to put his fingers up her bum is a porn addled pervert.

this is not the same as saying that women who sleep around deserve to be raped or anything else.

people who sleep with random strangers don’t have the moral high ground over men who wish to undertake perfectly common sexual practices but that also doesn’t mean that anyone should be forced to do anything they don’t want to.

i really don’t see why the point that a few of us are making is so difficult to understand.

we are just saying that it’s a bit rich for someone who fucks random strangers to clutch her pearls and imply that a bloke who wants to put his fingers up her bum is a porn addled pervert.

First of all, if OP had sex with a new acquaintance once according to her post, does this make her 'someone who fucks random strangers?'

Once again - slut shaming.

Secondly, was OP 'clutching her pearls'? She's saying she went out for sex, and got an unwanted finger in her bum. She was asking 'why' to a forum of people whom I'm sure she hoped weren't going to judge whether she was worthy of an opinion on her own body and wants.

Finally, why is it a 'bit rich' for her to have an opinion about men who finger women without consent?

Did she lose her right to an opinion because she's once consented to a one night stand, and that makes her a jezebel who can't criticise men or anyone else?

Makes me sick. Here we are and we've been worrying about men calling us hos and sluts , when all this time...right under our noses

Smileyaxolotl1

people who sleep with random strangers don’t have the moral high ground over men who wish to undertake perfectly common sexual practices

the op’s clearly articulated point was that things like anal are more commonly expected now than they used to be, in her experience, in fact so commonly expected that explicit consent isn’t sought and she’s wondering if that’s related to porn. It’s a very valid question and not one that should lead to responses akin to ‘well you agreed to fuck so what did you expect, of course he’s going to stick his finger up your arse without asking you!’. I don’t see why the point she’s making is so difficult to understand but plenty can’t see it and jump to slut shaming instead.

👏👏👏
the misogyny here is disgusting. The slut shamers should be ashamed of themselves

Apologies - someone who fucked a random stranger no ‘s’…
better?

He wanted you to repay the "favour"

Fucking hell, so expecting consent is the moral high ground now, is it? And one waives one’s right to consent if you screw someone on the first night? When, in your opinion, do you get to reclaim morality and insist on consent before anal penetration? Second night? Marriage?

man tries to do a fairly mild and common act as part of it

It's not.

I've had the vast minority of men not do that.

One asked.

The other (who turned out to be a general lying, std riddled, promiscuous, misogynist) did not.