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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to poo at someone's house

168 replies

pinkpeoniesmakemesmile · 18/05/2022 15:00

Sooo I need to know other peoples thoughts!
I have Crohns and my main symptom is diarrhoea. The need to go to the toilet comes on without any warning and can be pretty bad..noise and smell.
I'm currently mid flare meaning I'm quite poorly with it and having other symptoms.
I've cancelled many coffees with friends at their house as I'm too afraid to go incase I have a sudden onset of diarrhoea.
I know if someone came to my house and had diarrhoea I would not give a shit (!), but I'm interested to know if IBU to thinks others would be less understanding! What's your thoughts?

OP posts:
inmyslippers · 18/05/2022 15:02

If you was my friend I wouldn't care. I'd just hope you're ok

LidlMissSunshine · 18/05/2022 15:02

You poor thing. I have IBS and I completely understand the anxiety about leaving the house and potentially being embarrassed.

If it was my house and you needed to use the loo I wouldn’t care. I want my guests to be comfortable. But MN is super weird about people pooing in toilets that aren’t their own. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t mind of a workman does a poo in my toilet so I probably shouldn’t even be posting here.

Legoisaws8om · 18/05/2022 15:03

Snap. In fact maybe just be honest with your friend..instead of cancelling you could say oh my krones is flaring up would you mind coming to mine? Good friends won't care.

Theforest · 18/05/2022 15:03

Do they know you have Chrons? I have collagenous colitis so I totally understand. I would only feel comfortable if people knew I had a condition. So for me depends if I had told them/being comfortable telling them.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 18/05/2022 15:03

Meh.

The toilet is for pooing into.

Wouldn’t bother me.

BogRollBOGOF · 18/05/2022 15:04

I keep toilet brushes, cleaner and other cleaning materials so people have got the opportunity to clean up if they have mishaps while visiting.

I have IBS and visiting is a time when I'm more likely to trigger it, and it is embarrasing when there's no means to clean up after myself.

I love my good friends bowels and all 😂

Mally100 · 18/05/2022 15:04

It wouldn't bother me if you cleaned up after yourself - but I would expect that from anyone.

shrunkenhead · 18/05/2022 15:05

Do your friends know of your issues? I had to tell mine as constant cancelling = zero mates as they think you're being flaky for no apparent reason. I just had to come clean with my closest friends as then they knew why I can't do trams, long distance journeys etc etc they still invite me but kindly realise why I can't always go or know why I prefer to party in my own house and they come to me.

Ahwelltoobad · 18/05/2022 15:05

Oh, poor you! I would much, much rather meet up, at your place or mine, than not see you! Maybe a headsup that you suffer from Crohns? 💐

Alovelydayatlast · 18/05/2022 15:06

Maybe take some VIPoo and some air freshener if you are worried?

Shoxfordian · 18/05/2022 15:06

I wouldn’t mind as long as you use the air freshener and the toilet brush if you need it

Ducksinthebath · 18/05/2022 15:06

For 90% of people, the only thought in their head would be concern for you. I couldn't give a fig who does a number 2 in my toilet, that's what it's there for.

However, you seem to get some weirdos on MN who are shocked and totally affronted that a friend/family member/tradesman has the temerity to use the toilet for its intended purpose.

saltnvinegarlover · 18/05/2022 15:07

My mum had chohn's and I would never judge

IanOsenfrote · 18/05/2022 15:07

Is it unreasonable to breathe in someone elses house if you have bad breath?

Of course not so don't worry about the toilet.

shrunkenhead · 18/05/2022 15:07

If you're anything like me you're already carrying a bottle of VIPoo, a spare loo roll, wet wipes, spare change of clothes etc around with you anyway so reckon you're more than prepared to poo in another's loo.

fireandpaint · 18/05/2022 15:07

I wouldn't care, that's what toilets are for.
If it's a close friend I would just be honest so that you don't feel stressed being there.

Smartsub · 18/05/2022 15:10

It's only on MN I encounter strangeness about toilet use. The toilet is there to be pooed in. I'd hate to think anyone avoided visiting me for fear they might need to use my loo for it's intended purpose.

I'm fortunate that I don't have your issues OP but if I need to poo I use the first available toilet and if that's at a friend's house (or at work, which is another MN seems to have an issue with) I'll use it.

PineForestsAndSunshine · 18/05/2022 15:11

I have 2 friends with Crohns (conversation often takes some interesting turns when they’re together!) and both are very up front about it. If they’re having a flare up they might saying something like “apologies in advance, my Crohns is bad at the moment”. I usually joke something like don’t worry I’ve got the nice loo roll out. I always say they’re more than welcome to use the upstairs loo if they like (meaning more privacy!)

if they’re friends, they won’t care.

riotlady · 18/05/2022 15:14

Yanbu, toilets are literally there to be pooped in, anyone who gets precious about it is being ridiculous

Original poster
pinkpeoniesmakemesmile · 18/05/2022 15:16

Thank you so much, it's so reassuring to read your comments. You all are fabulous friends.
I always have my ' poo bag' full of stuff whenever I'm out, including VIPOO, loperamide, wipes, radar key etc.
I've had Crohns for 22 years so you would think I would be used to it, but my anxiety is at an all time high.

OP posts:
Penguinevere · 18/05/2022 15:17

I honestly wouldn’t care

CounsellorTroi · 18/05/2022 15:18

It's what my toilet is for.

KylieKoKo · 18/05/2022 15:18

Toilets exist to poo in. It would be ridiculous to object to someone doing just that!

Itsbackagain · 18/05/2022 15:19

Chronic here - no so long as you have your vipoo you're good to go!

XmasElf10 · 18/05/2022 15:21

No problem to me. That’s what the loo is for.