AIBU to poo at someone's house

[pinkpeoniesmakemesmile]

Sooo I need to know other peoples thoughts!
I have Crohns and my main symptom is diarrhoea. The need to go to the toilet comes on without any warning and can be pretty bad..noise and smell.
I'm currently mid flare meaning I'm quite poorly with it and having other symptoms.
I've cancelled many coffees with friends at their house as I'm too afraid to go incase I have a sudden onset of diarrhoea.
I know if someone came to my house and had diarrhoea I would not give a shit (!), but I'm interested to know if IBU to thinks others would be less understanding! What's your thoughts?

I have a stomach issue so I’m used to going anywhere! My friends know about it and I’d hope if they liked me enough to invite me to their home they like me enough to allow me to use their toilet for its intended purpose. If one of my friends used my toilet I can’t say it wouldn’t even register unless they were in there a long time or if I knew they had something like chrons, in which case I might ask if they felt ok/if they were unwell and needed anything.

*crohns

I would never assume someone holds it in and doesn’t go. Most places have air freshener. I can understand why you feel uncomfortable though.

I wouldn't give two hoots, OP. That's what toilets are for. I hope your friends are able to reassure you. Hope you feel better soon.

Yes this is an issue for me! I always leave out cleaning spray and toilet brush plus air freshener on the shelf so if anyone needs it it is there.

That's what my toilet is meant to be used for. If I had a friend like you I would absolutely welcome you to my house.

Actually I would offer you the use of my en suite toilet which is mine and mine alone. Strictly child free zone and is much more private.

I wouldn't give a hoot. In fact, I'd be happy that you feel comfortable enough in my home to use the loo for what it's intended.

I am suuuuper fussy and I would HATE anyone to poo at my house (I have diagnosed OCD and other issues before anyone attacks me!) I would never poo at anyone else’s and I find it a bit rude almost.
I say this because I’m probably more extreme than other people, but even with that in mind, if you were my friend and it’s because of a condition or illness, I’d be totally fine with it of course! I’d prefer you did it than feel like you need to be in pain or anything at my house. Maybe if you’re worried you could pack some nice scented sprays or something to mask it!

When you've got to go, you've got to go!

I wouldn't mind in the slightest.

If I knew someone had your condition it wouldn't bother me. If I were you I'd take some air freshner just in case they don't have any.

But anyone who needs to go and can't use their fussy friend's loo will be uncomfortable?

If you gotta go, you gotta go. Just carry some spritz in your bag for afterwards or open a window 😉

It’s what my loo’s for. I’d be so upset if one of my friends didn’t visit me because of this. 💐

I wouldn't be at all bothered. Obviously people should leave the loo clean, as that's just good manners, but time taken, smells etc wouldn't worry me at all. I'd just far prefer you to be comfortable and to see you.

I need to buy some for dh 😂

OP, toilets are for using and it's ridiculous to pretend otherwise . I agree with inviting friends to your house if it makes you more comfortable. Just explain what's going on and that you need to be close to your own loo during a flare up. Friends will understand.

It’s a toilet so it expects to get pooed in so that’s fine.

As an aside I personally really hate the smell of air freshener mixed in with poo. Definitely prefer to stick with just the poo smell alone.

Loos are for pooing in !!

We all do smelly poos from time to time, Crohns or not. We can't always hold it in for hours, and it's what toilets are for. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

@Smartsub do you mean someone who just wanted to poop would be uncomfortable at my house?
surely most adults without a medical issue can manage their bowels long enough for a coffee catch up?
and if they couldn’t I’d never say anything. Just internally hate it.

my point was that given my ocd diagnosis I can be more fussy than most, and even then I wouldn’t care about op going to the toilet at my house so im sure her friends won’t mind at all!

The only time I might have an issue with someone using the loo (actually, I'd have an issue with them being in my house full stop) is if they knowingly had a sickness bug and had turned up anyway. Even then, I'd rather they used the loo than not, otherwise the consequences could be disastrous!

In general, my attitude is that anyone is free to use my bathroom as they wish, as long as it's left as they found it and the window is opened if necessary... Guests with IBS have got 'stuck on the loo' before with no comments or judgement!

I honestly couldn't care less.
That is a key function of a toilet. I doubt I'd even notice.

Depends on the friend though doesn't it. In an ideal world then yes of course you should be able to go. I have friends who houses I'd have a poo in and they'd have a poo in mine. We'd say I'm going for a poo. But I have other friends that those topics don't come up and we're not close like that so I wouldn't want to at theirs or have them pooing at mine. That might be weird but so what 🤷‍♀️

Why not talk to your friend(s) before you go. Let them know in case you have to leave the room for the toilet suddenly.

YANBU.

When you need to go, you need to go!

Please do not be embarrassed about the smell, noise, mess, length of said bowel movements.

People who care about you won’t care, & I’m pretty certain they would rather you use their toilet than hold it in/have an accident/go outside and squat.

Toilets are for poo-ing in. So long as any guest didn't leave a mess and used the air freshener/opened a window - couldn't care less. I would like any guest to feel comfortable in my house, and if that includes using the toilet for its designated purpose then that's fine!