AIBU to poo at someone's house

[pinkpeoniesmakemesmile]

Sooo I need to know other peoples thoughts!
I have Crohns and my main symptom is diarrhoea. The need to go to the toilet comes on without any warning and can be pretty bad..noise and smell.
I'm currently mid flare meaning I'm quite poorly with it and having other symptoms.
I've cancelled many coffees with friends at their house as I'm too afraid to go incase I have a sudden onset of diarrhoea.
I know if someone came to my house and had diarrhoea I would not give a shit (!), but I'm interested to know if IBU to thinks others would be less understanding! What's your thoughts?

It's only on MN I encounter strangeness about toilet use

Indeed. Reading mumsnet can give you complexes where you never had them before. I always understood that toilets were there to be used and that when we ask permission to use someone's toilet that is just politeness.

Apparently we shouldn't make jokes in the supermarket either

I wouldn't think twice if I even noticed, I always want people to feel comfortable and can use whichever bathroom their please (not extravagant just mean upstairs or downstairs of they are more comfortable)

But what if you're at their house and they need to poo? Would you want them to leave? So bizarre.

I think I would be hesitant if the layout of a friend’s house was like a relative of mine had - toilet literally a few feet from kitchen table with a gap of 1.5 inches underneath the door. Literally all sounds would be heard and all smells could escape. If the house had a better layout then it would be ok.

I have answered my door to a friend in the past who has rushed past me to get to my toilet in time!
We all know of her medical history in our friendship group and we all laugh with her about it. I don’t give it a second thought. It’s part of life. She is great company and we would rather see her than not.

So your mate would have to leave and go home?

Hey, I'm gonna have to dash, I need a poop

As an aside I personally really hate the smell of air freshener mixed in with poo

Same here. Poo + air freshener is a special kind of vile, I'd rather smell the poo.

I also agree that the purpose of my toilet is for poos and wees for anyone who happens to be in my house. I've been through potty training so I'm just ecstatic that poo makes it into the actual toilet. I've often thought the world would be a happier place if everyone was like my 7 year old who announces to the world, regardless of where he is "I'm going for a poo now"

I also gave myself a hiatus hernia as a teenager because I was so scared to poo, and became chronically constipated. So I'm all for more openness around poo.

I would offer you my en suite as it's more private, done that before for a friend
Also has poo pourri spray, and air fresheners and is well away from any other rooms! I don't care what you do in there
My main bathroom is opposite the living room and friends have asked to use the en suite before as they want more privacy. Fine by me

I had a friend from work round for a meal once and she did go home!! Said she needed the loo and implied it would be for a poo so she'd rather use her own!!

I have a bowel condition and when I need to poo its so unpredictable, I really cannot plan visits or shopping around it. Hence when I need to go, I dont have a choice. I would look for air freshener and make sure toilet was left clean. Life is too short to be constrained by toilet habits. I can be in the cinema and go 3 times during a film, but I still go to the cinema. I have gone beyond worrying about the noises etc when someone is in the cubicle next to me 😅

😂 yes wouldn’t it be more sensible if adults didn’t try to pretend they don’t poo! Of course there’s a line to be drawn, we don’t need to be like my dd6 who likes to leave the door ajar ‘in case anyone wants to have a chat.’

That's what toilets are for? I'd be hard pushed to be offended about someone pooping in my toilets. If you shit in my sink I might have something to say about it.

Why don't you just tell your friends in advance that you're having a bad flare up and may need to suddenly dash off to use their loo if that's ok. Then they know what's happening and are likely to just be concerned about you.

My downstairs loo, has lots of extra toilet paper, wipes, loo brush and loo cleaner plus room spray. Feel free to poo. I would be really upset if someone didn't feel comfortable to go in my house.

It's only on MN I encounter strangeness about toilet use

yes! Similarly another thread a while back where numerous posters said they would be ‘unimpressed’ if guests disposed of sanpro in their bathroom bins.

They're the same ones who don't like the cleaner using their posh coffee, don't worry.

I can't imagine men having this conversation, women should be allowed to poo too.

@itfolds, did they suggest any alternatives to san pro going in the bin?

^ This

If a friend came to my house and that happened, I'd be more worried that they were okay! "Do you need anything? A glass of water? Wet wipes?"
If your friends wouldn't be okay with it, find new friends.

This wouldn't bother me at all. I'd hope my friends wouldn't worry about having a poo in my loo.