AIBU to poo at someone's house

[pinkpeoniesmakemesmile]

Sooo I need to know other peoples thoughts!
I have Crohns and my main symptom is diarrhoea. The need to go to the toilet comes on without any warning and can be pretty bad..noise and smell.
I'm currently mid flare meaning I'm quite poorly with it and having other symptoms.
I've cancelled many coffees with friends at their house as I'm too afraid to go incase I have a sudden onset of diarrhoea.
I know if someone came to my house and had diarrhoea I would not give a shit (!), but I'm interested to know if IBU to thinks others would be less understanding! What's your thoughts?

I wouldnt care at all, but I have issues going anywhere other than my own toilet 😅 I don't have IBS etc though. But honestly, friends wont care at all.

You sound like the world's most considerate pooer. I'd be honoured to direct you to my toilet.

I would feel bad that a friend was cancelling because she thought I’d be annoyed at her using my toilet for it’s intended function. Even more so if I knew she had crown’s disease. I’d really wonder what I’d done wrong to come across that way.

Totally missing the point but coffee?? Especially if you're having a flare up but I'll mind my own..
Anyway a friend wouldn't give a shit, toilets are there for that purpose, I have similar problems but nobody I know would care and/ or tell me not to be daft and get yourself round.

I wouldn't care at all. If I knew you were having issues/were self conscious of it I would offer you to use the upstairs loo so you can have more privacy

I'm so sorry OP, that's really hard & very tough for you that you are having to miss coffees & meet ups.

Like everyone else, if you were my friend, and had this issue while in my house, I wouldn't care, in the sense I'd just want you to be ok.

However, in myself (as in my internal reaction, and my problem, not yours), I would find it embarrassing & would be itching to get in & clean it. I do not leave cleaning stuff in my toilet, I'm sure in that scenario you would do what you could, but I would want to clean it myself (I am one of the aforementioned weird MNers re toilets but absolutely not in the sense of thinking you shouldn't use it!)

I hope the flare-up eases soon

Amber Heard is literally the only person I would say no to, on this one x

I would care either, I buy the spray foam, called Neutradol, After Flush Toilet Mousse, £1 in Savers, it’s in an aerosol can, awesome stuff, spray it in the bowl and the smell goes instantly.

You have my sympathy - I have ulcerative colitis and last week I agonised about pooing in the private room on the bowel ward while I was waiting for a colonoscopy the morning after kleen-prep 😳 But if things were the other way round, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if a friend needed to poo in my toilet, especially if they were ill/flaring. Real friends will understand

I wouldn't care at all. It's a loo.

I would speak to your friends in advance, if you are still worried. You can ask them flat-out if, when you are having a flare-up, they'd rather postpone the visit, or be entirely relaxed about you using their loo. 99% will be relaxed, I'll wager, but it gives a graceful getout clause to anyone who is freaked out at other people's poo.

As everyone says toilets are designed for that very purpose.

It sounds better than a glass of water....which is the reality!

I have a friend who poo’s in my loo every time they come over 🤣, it doesn’t bother me, that’s what toilets are for, as long as the toilets left clean then all is ok. I’m sure if your friends know you have Crohn’s they should realise that you might have to go poop.

I wouldn't care in the slightest. I think you should tell your friends what is going on for you - if it was me I'd tell you to use the upstairs loo - just for your own comfort so you weren't embarrassed by making sounds/smells.

How awful for you OP, and anyone else with this condition.

I don't mind one bit if visitors need a poo when they're here, when you've got to go, you've got to go. There's always toilet cleaner and a loo brush and plenty of spare loo rolls, soap and towels.

What's weird to me is when we've have visitors who don't use the loo, the ones who come round for for a whole evening and don't even pee. I don't understand that so if anyone can enlighten me, please do.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I would just be glad to see you

I absolutely would not mind one bit. The only difference I would make is to encourage you to use our guest en-suite as it's far more private than the downstairs loo which is off the hallway and the dining room, there's more space and there's a window you can open if you're feeling a bit embarrassed about smells. Cleaning materials, bin, wipes, air freshener, good hand soap and moisturiser are in every bathroom/toilet in our house, as are the dreaded toilet brushes.

I would be absolutely mortified if you were cancelling plans because you thought I'd care about you needing to use the toilet in my house. I am a nurse though, so poo-talk happens frequently around the dinner table when my friends are around so I couldn't imagine that you would think I would judge you😂

I do my utmost to avoid having a poo in someone else's house in case they are one of those weird people who does not have a loo brush, or if they have a loo that does not flush unless you have mastered a particular knack.

If a friend had to poo at my house I would not have a problem with it and I keep cleaning products where they are easily found if needed.

I’d be honoured if my friends felt comfortable enough to poo in my house.
A close relative has a similar condition to yours and I have only concern for them. I’d just tell your friends about the condition.

If you need to poo you need to poo! As far as I know people don't usually go home just because they need one. As long as you dont leave the toilet a state surely there's no issue?

I'd be more concerned about my friend being comfortable in my home and that they were okay than whether or not they use the bathroom to poo. Everyone does it. Doesn't bother me in the slightest

Oh you have my sympathy! A good friend will not care. I once crapped my pants on the way to my friends birthday dinner and they all greeted me with hoots of laughter, a bin bag, spare clothes and their shower. They still unwisely let me eat Mexican food.

I always carry VIPOO with me to at least help with the smell!

If people need to poo they need to poo, and far and away the best place to do that is a toilet - by a country mile. How on earth can anyone hold it in for hours? They must be farting all over the place. You are welcome to come to my house and poo your bum off if you like. It is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

I want people to feel comfortable enough to do what they need to do in my house - even more so if they have a medical issue!

I wouldn’t mind at all, I’d just want to see you and hoped you were ok.

In fact, I’d take it as a badge of honour that were comfortable enough with me to come x