Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is in the wrong here????

438 replies

WorriedWelshy · 27/04/2022 09:46

A few weeks ago I bought my step son a personalised jacket to wear for his 8th birthday party that he's having at his mother's who he lives.

I found out yesterday that she didn't put it on him because apparently it wasn't spelt correctly so he wore something else.

AIBU to call her disrespectful by not putting it on him to wear? She didn't even let us know he wouldn't be wearing it or say thank you for us buying it for him or anything. She said she didn't ask us to buy it and because my step son already said thank you she doesn't think she needs to.
What annoyed me most is she didn't even give it back to us until I had to ASK for it back.

My OH thinks I'm overreacting but I can't help but feel so offended.

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 27/04/2022 09:57

Was it a fake jacket and that's why it had a spelling mistake?

Original poster
WorriedWelshy · 27/04/2022 09:57

OK just to clarify some things:

The jacket has the words "NAME your 8 today!"

I'm not necessarily annoyed that he didn't wear it if HE chose not to wear it, it's more that she didn't bother to let us know there was a spelling mistake or that he wouldn't actually wear it for his party, and that she just kept it. He obviously isn't going to wear it at hers so why not just give it back?

OP posts:
Ozgirl75 · 27/04/2022 09:57

I probably wouldn’t put my child in a jacket which had words incorrectly spelled.

Ozgirl75 · 27/04/2022 09:58

Oh yes I would never put that on my child. That’s shocking that a shop got that wrong!

Sirzy · 27/04/2022 09:59

I can’t picture many 8 year olds wearing that even if spelt correctly to be honest!

Eggshelly · 27/04/2022 09:59

WorriedWelshy · 27/04/2022 09:57

OK just to clarify some things:

The jacket has the words "NAME your 8 today!"

I'm not necessarily annoyed that he didn't wear it if HE chose not to wear it, it's more that she didn't bother to let us know there was a spelling mistake or that he wouldn't actually wear it for his party, and that she just kept it. He obviously isn't going to wear it at hers so why not just give it back?

She doesn't have to let you know. And it's his jacket why would they give it back? No one else is going to want it with that howler on it so it's not like it's being resold on ebay.

NoodleNuts · 27/04/2022 10:00

If I was 8, I wouldn't want to wear a jacket with NoodleNuts you're 8 today! emblazoned on it (even if it was spelt right). What a bizarre present to get someone, a jacket that can only be worn once.

Ozgirl75 · 27/04/2022 10:00

Plus that’s not a tiny mistake, it’s a massive and obvious error.

BringSallyUp · 27/04/2022 10:00

So, "your" instead of "you're"? That would irritate me but I'm a grammar pedant.

Eggshelly · 27/04/2022 10:00

NoodleNuts · 27/04/2022 10:00

If I was 8, I wouldn't want to wear a jacket with NoodleNuts you're 8 today! emblazoned on it (even if it was spelt right). What a bizarre present to get someone, a jacket that can only be worn once.

Agreed. There's only one day of the year you can wear it. What a waste of money.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/04/2022 10:01

"Your" instead of "you're?" I would have burned it. Like hell I'd let my child wear that.

dementedpixie · 27/04/2022 10:01

I wouldn't put that jacket on him either.

Mind you I wouldn't have bought a jacket that's only relevant for 1 day anyway

BringSallyUp · 27/04/2022 10:02

But also IMO the thought of any child wearing a top that advertised their name and age is a bit 🤨.

foxlover47 · 27/04/2022 10:02

Reminds me of the bracelet Del Boy have Rodney , that spelt Rooney 🤣

JanetPluchinsky · 27/04/2022 10:03

What a ridiculous waste of money.

foxlover47 · 27/04/2022 10:03

*gave Rodney

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 27/04/2022 10:03

You're in the wrong sorry. You can buy someone a present but you can't dictate when or where they use it, or get annoyed at a parent for not doing so either.

IsDaveThere · 27/04/2022 10:03

foxlover47 · 27/04/2022 10:02

Reminds me of the bracelet Del Boy have Rodney , that spelt Rooney 🤣

😂😂

Nelliephant1 · 27/04/2022 10:03

I'm with his mum I'm afraid.

I'd be rather miffed that his father and step mum didn't notice that his name was spelt wrongly.

She's right imho that he said thank you for it therefor why should she, he's old enough to say for himself.

It's not something that's going to be to everyone's taste.

My children were very unfashion conscious but there's no way they'd have worn something like that but they would have been polite enough not to say so to whoever gave them it.

I worked with sex offenders and their advice was to never ever put a child's name on anything that can be seen, bags, t shirts, baby on board signs, hair bands, jackets. It immediately gives the offender information that they can then use to entice the child and fake familiarity i.e. their name.

GooglyEyeballs · 27/04/2022 10:04

Honest opinion. YABU. The spelling error just makes it a bit of a crap gift tbh. Sounds a bit tacky. You're a bit controlling if you're having a barney because your step kid didn't wear the jacket you got him. 🙄

Eggshelly · 27/04/2022 10:05

Also "disrespectful"? She doesn't owe you respect!

AChocolateOrangeaday · 27/04/2022 10:05

So I will double down on my YABVU.

What an awful gift for an 8 year old even if spelt correctly.

Don't blame the poor kid.

roundedbrush · 27/04/2022 10:06

I understand why he didn't want to wear it. He was probably being polite to you if he did say he wanted to. Naff gift though. I don't know many 8 year olds would wear something like that. Mine didn't wear an age badge at that age let alone a jacket.

I'd send it back with their spelling mistake and get him something he would actually want.

StrawberryPot · 27/04/2022 10:07

"NAME your 8 today!"

😂. Massive grammatical howler in my book op!!!

And why would you buy a jacket with a statement that would only be factually (if not grammatically) correct on one day? Confused

Leaving all that aside. You were thanked. And you don't get to dictate what someone wears.

AchillesPoirot · 27/04/2022 10:08

Reverse?

If not that's a crap present that can only be worn on one day and there was a spelling error which you didn't check for.

Yabu.