Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is in the wrong here????

438 replies

WorriedWelshy · 27/04/2022 09:46

A few weeks ago I bought my step son a personalised jacket to wear for his 8th birthday party that he's having at his mother's who he lives.

I found out yesterday that she didn't put it on him because apparently it wasn't spelt correctly so he wore something else.

AIBU to call her disrespectful by not putting it on him to wear? She didn't even let us know he wouldn't be wearing it or say thank you for us buying it for him or anything. She said she didn't ask us to buy it and because my step son already said thank you she doesn't think she needs to.
What annoyed me most is she didn't even give it back to us until I had to ASK for it back.

My OH thinks I'm overreacting but I can't help but feel so offended.

OP posts:
WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 27/04/2022 10:22

You expect her to fall over herself thanking you for a pointless gift with a spelling error. You want to dictate what he wears on his time at his mums house, and you're blaming her for him not wearing it.

Do you and his dad thank her for every gift she gets him? Did you thank her for throwing him a party?

Giving a gift with expectations attached to it is a really shitty thing to do.

girlmom21 · 27/04/2022 10:23

Yeah that's a howler of an error. There's no way I'd allow my child to wear that.

SarahSissions · 27/04/2022 10:23

She probably didn’t want the other parents thinking that the grammar mistake was hers. You should’ve sent it back to the shop when you saw the mistake for a refund.

Eggshelly · 27/04/2022 10:23

And if your DH isn't bothered about it it's even odder than you are!

newbiename · 27/04/2022 10:24

If I was the Mum I'd have had a laugh at how stupid the grammar was. No way my child would've worn it.

MedusasBadHairDay · 27/04/2022 10:24

AchillesPoirot · 27/04/2022 10:08

Reverse?

If not that's a crap present that can only be worn on one day and there was a spelling error which you didn't check for.

Yabu.

Especially to be worn at a party with their friends. Sounds like the kind of thing you'd dress a toddler in.

AChocolateOrangeaday · 27/04/2022 10:25

@Greensleeves Maybe OP is hosting his 9th birthday? Hence wanting the jacket back.

Oh wait.....................!

JazzHandsYeah · 27/04/2022 10:27

I can’t believe this actually real.

CheshireCats · 27/04/2022 10:30

YABVVU

thewhatsit · 27/04/2022 10:30

SarahSissions · 27/04/2022 10:23

She probably didn’t want the other parents thinking that the grammar mistake was hers. You should’ve sent it back to the shop when you saw the mistake for a refund.

Yes, I’d be embarrassed to put my child in that. I’m sure most adults would clock the error even if they didn’t say anything and so I’d have to go around all day saying “we know it’s wrong but he’s decided to wear it anyway!”.

Was it the shop that made the error or was it you or your DH? If the first - refund.

Odd present anyway… a whole jacket that can only be worn one day? What a waste.

AlisonDonut · 27/04/2022 10:30

JazzHandsYeah · 27/04/2022 10:27

I can’t believe this actually real.

The last 24 hours on MN have been a mix of 'WTF' and 'did someone slip me some magic mushrooms'.

girlmom21 · 27/04/2022 10:31

SarahSissions · 27/04/2022 10:23

She probably didn’t want the other parents thinking that the grammar mistake was hers. You should’ve sent it back to the shop when you saw the mistake for a refund.

I have a feeling OP didn't know it was an error.
I also have a feeling they printed exactly what she told them to.

SpringLobelia · 27/04/2022 10:31

Well, IMO kids tend to have pretty firm ideas about what to wear and resent being made to wear something the adults in their life think is 'cute' but will have their peers sniggering at them.

That's without the spelling error.

SpeckledlyHen · 27/04/2022 10:32

The jacket has the words "NAME your 8 today!"

This is the worst of spelling mistakes - I would have thrown it straight in the bin to be honest.

You're..

JeffThePilot · 27/04/2022 10:33

Does your partner thank his ex for everything she buys their son? Even tacky shit?

anyway this is a reverse.

fruitbrewhaha · 27/04/2022 10:33

Good grief. What a totally shit gift. Why on earth would anyone want a jacket you can only wear for one day? Such a waste of money and ends up in landfill. You can't even pass it on! And even an 8 year old can spell you're. He wold look like a total chump when his friends could see the error To be fair, he'd look like a total chump without the spelling error.

BobHadBitchTits · 27/04/2022 10:33

Reverse or fake.

Babyvenusplant · 27/04/2022 10:34

His mother can dress him whatever she wants when he's at her house

YABU

Gingernaut · 27/04/2022 10:34

WorriedWelshy · 27/04/2022 09:50

There was a tiny little spelling error but I don't think it was that big of a deal that she wouldn't put him in it.

He told us he wanted to wear it but chose something else, but when I confronted her she said he also noticed the error and chose something else.

It's his name. It's not tiny. If you can't even get his name right, what else is going wrong.

YABU.

thewhatsit · 27/04/2022 10:34

Even let’s say hypothetically it didn’t have some an embarrassing mistake on it AND it was a jacket that your DSS loved, wore all day and really treasured… I still think he’s the one who owes you a thank you? Why the ex?

EufyProsser · 27/04/2022 10:35

WoodenClock · 27/04/2022 10:22

Isn't it really odd wording even if it was gramatically correct?

If it's for the birthday boy to wear, wouldn't it be "I'm eight". "You're eight" suggests friends or family of BB. which would be even more bonkers

yes, it's weird. Talk about inserting yourself remotely into a situation via a grammatically inaccurate garment.

Wheniruletheworld · 27/04/2022 10:36

WorriedWelshy · 27/04/2022 09:50

There was a tiny little spelling error but I don't think it was that big of a deal that she wouldn't put him in it.

He told us he wanted to wear it but chose something else, but when I confronted her she said he also noticed the error and chose something else.

..that big of a deal...
another Americanism obliterating the English language!

And typo's on something so obvious as an item of clothing are rather embarrassing - smacks of rip-off designer goods (not suggesting this was the case here OP!)

And why would you expect the mother to thank you? Better that the child says thanks - shows manners and respect!

Prometheus · 27/04/2022 10:36

I wouldn’t force my son to wear a jacket with such a bad grammatical mistake on - I’d be mortified in case the other guests thought I was responsible!

poorbuthappy · 27/04/2022 10:39

Wouldn't have gone near my child's back I'm afraid.
If this isn't a reverse...
I think you're (Grin) embarrassed that you didn't notice the mistake and are projecting.
Accept it's your mistake and I'm sorry but a shit gift too.
Move on.

ExMachinaDeus · 27/04/2022 10:40

because apparently it wasn't spelt correctly

Problem is, that's quite "disrespectful" of you! Or careless.

Swipe left for the next trending thread