To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

[eggsbenedict82]

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

YANBU.

I’m assuming you are expected to do lots of ‘wife work’. You’re not being unreasonable.

Who normally buys their eggs?

Surely you could have picked up 2 extra eggs when you picked up your own child’s egg?

Or maybe you both should have discussed it before now.

No.

If he had said “would you mind getting sc some eggs whilst you were out” that’s fine.

But he just expects you to step in and be the default parent of his children and make sure you got them eggs

Spar is open, I’m sure they’ll have some as he’s forgotten.

If he knew you had been doing things to get ready for Easter, I think it’s fair for him to assume that you would have got eggs for all the children in your nuclear family instead of just your own.

That said, he’s their parent so the ultimate responsibility is down to him.

I would have bought them for all the kids in our family if I were the one buying them.

YANBU, there his children his responsibility.

The cheeky twat!

It was his job, what does he think you are?

His PA ?

But don't you realise that you have been neglectful of your "woman's work"?

Your DH is fully aware that easter eggs drop out of the ceiling and that he doesn't have to think about things like that because he has a wife.

You were supposed to anticipate all eventualities and make him look like a thoughtful parent.

You are not unreasonable. He is a twat.

Yanbu

@steff13

I would have bought them for all the kids in our family if I were the one buying them.

Same

I don't think you should have bought eggs for your DSCs, but I would have. If you were already buying eggs for one of the children in the family, it seems a bit petty/exclusionary to not buy the other children in the family eggs too. Obviously you'll get the usual answers of "not your kids, not your problem" but unless there's a huge drip feed coming about contentious parenting arrangements and ironclad finance separations, I'd think you were being a little mean spirited.

I would have got them eggs . Ok not your children but they are not exactly going to break the bank …only a couple of quid ! Our local convenience stores are open…maybe your husband could go out and grab a couple.
Think the kids will be disappointed otherwise.

If I was doing for my kids I would have picked up some for step kids too.

I think the key thing is how much you knew about the visit and how far in advance.

I don't classify this as 'wife work' or him deferring his parenting to you since you were already getting an Easter egg. I'm also not sure how busy you can have been preparing Easter, it's just buying an egg surely?

But as always on here, I suspect this may be a snapshot of a bigger problem.

20% on you 80% on your DH, you are right it's your husbands responsibility however I can't imagine going to by my dc eggs and not texting husband to ask if he wants me to pick up any for his dc, you were in a shop buying them it's hardly a hardship to pick 2 more.

Ultimately you are right it's your DHs responsibility but now it's the children who suffer and you could have prevented it with a text 🤷‍♀️

Yanbu, didn't even think to check with you, just assumed your are responsible for buying his children Easter eggs

*you are

I buy easter eggs for all the "kids". But why hadn't he thought to buy them?

I think it's a slippery slope that for everything you think of for your DC you have to think of his. They already have two parents.

I actually think he's not that unreasonable if it's normally you that does that sort of thing.

In our house I remember all the birthdays and shop for his family's presents as I know he doesn't remember. I do all the food shopping to so anything food or gift related he would just assume I had taken care of

Meanwhile manages all our household bills (I pay half bit he sets up the direct debits, checks they are paid etc( so I just assume we will have electricity, oil and internet every month.

Point is, if it's normally you then you are unreasonable.

I get where your coming from but it wouldn't have hurt to be nice and buy theirs at the same time as you did your DS's.

What happens on their birthdays and at Christmas?

Not buying eggs for all the children is incredibly petty, and “getting Easter ready for ds”? Wtf?

Yanbu because its a short notice visit and he knew you were busy. He also knew the arrangements and should have actually arranged something. Not your problem that he is a mediocre dad. Well it is I suppose since you had a kid with him. I'd stop at one if I were you as he is showing you he is useless.