To not have bought eggs for DSCs?

[eggsbenedict82]

Long story short, DSD (10yo) and DSS (8yo) are being dropped off here later by DH's ex. The whole visit was arranged with short notice, and only briefly rushed past me, as DH knows I have been busy preparing Easter for our 3yo DS.
This morning, after DS had opened his eggs, DH asked where the DSCs eggs are so they can be set up for later.
I told him I had not bought any, and when he got indignant I said it's as simple as they're not my DCs, they're his, it's not my fault he's waited until Easter day, when no shops are open. Not my responsibility, but as per usual, I've been cast as the wicked stepmother - happy Easter, hey? AIBU

Realised I never said what I thought at first! 🤣

@Profanisaurasrex

Well, if I were buying Easter stuff then I would automatically but dsc eggs too. If DH was buying Easter stuff then he would buy his dsc eggs too.

ALL the children should have been bought eggs by whichever adult was doing Easter shopping. Bit odd not to have discussed it a bit in advance.

Exactly.

Yeah you should have got them an Easter Egg but I am sure there are still some around and he can nip out and get a couple.

You married this man so I assume you actually like him. Would it not have been kind to buy your step-children eggs without having to be asked? Even if you weren’t originally planning to see them on the day, you could kind of guess they might like some Easter eggs at some point. It might have made your husband feel happy that you were including his children - is that such a terrible thing? To do things for your partner?
I buy some for my husbands nieces and nephews who we don’t see over Easter.
Of course if you really don’t enjoy making your partner feel happy or doing anything for him that’s a whole different issue.

For me - you buying eggs for a joint child and not buying eggs for your partners children speaks volumes to how blended (or not) your family is.

@Selttan

All those asking why she didn't just buy some eggs for dsc at the same time as ds - why aren't you asking why the father didn't buy any eggs got his children???

I think it's fair enough he give up his own eggs in this scenario not your ds eggs.

@Selttan

Because it sounds like OP was doing the Easter prep and it’s quicker to do it all at once.

He is absolutely crap, but so is OP.

I do feel sorry for the SCs, talk about not being wanted.

I did buy my three nieces eggs and a gift each, as my sister does the same for DS.

Wow!! You thought of everyone BUT them...way to go OP!! You are a classic!

Wow so you buy for others but not for your DSC. And before you say it’s their dad’s responsibility they are part of your family too when you got together with their dad.

Unbelievably petty and way to make them feel unwelcome. This may be about chocolate this time but this will be the start of a pattern where the children will feel like second class citizens in their own family

I would have asked him when buying eggs for my own child whether I should get some for the stepchildren too. It's his responsibility but I still would have asked, seems pretty unkind not to think of them.

Your H is very out of order, he can't expect you to have things ready for a last minute visit by his children with no prior discussion. He needs to sort it.

But who the feck does presents for Easter. Aren't the mounds of novelty chocolate enough?

I’d have got them if I’d know the step kids were coming over in time. How short notice are we talking? On the other hand, there was nothing stopping him buying or even checking with you in advance.

Tbf I tend to do the “wife work” admin stuff because I’m a SAHP and there’s other stuff he has to hold in his brain. A lot depends on how the division of labour is in your household.

@heartofgrass

Well the preparation doesn't just include his eggs, I arranged an egg hunt for him, and he has some gifts too.

But your step kids get nada. Got it

Presumably they got eggs at their mums house, where they were expected to be at Easter. Would it be more fair for them to get twice as many?

Why get with a man with children if you can’t be bothered to even make a minimal effort for them?? Yes he should also of sorted some eggs, but even if they weren’t coming over originally would it really of been any skin off your nose when you were buying Easter things for your son and nieces?!

They’re children ffs.

Any since when did Easter presents become a big thing? Can’t imagine any of these geets being spoiled for Easter have made it near a church service.

I feel sorry for the step kids.
I'm not a step parent but always chuck an extra few Easter treats in the trolley incase my sons mates etc pop round.
Everyone likes little treats
I couldn't make the day special for my own son and not my husband kids

@AlternativePerspective

Not buying eggs for all the children is incredibly petty, and “getting Easter ready for ds”? Wtf?

This, in spades.

You married him knowing he had two kids. They are now both of your kids. Treat them all equally.

Even if you didn't think you'd see them on the day itself, you could've thought about them and got them one to give them at a later date.

Presumably they got eggs at their mums house, where they were expected to be at Easter. Would it be more fair for them to get twice as many?

Well, they don't get to live with their dad full-time, so maybe a little extra chocolate is warranted.

Not the point of the thread, but this is the second I've seen today stating that no shops are open. I don't know if it's a quirk of where we live but I've just been out to two small supermarkets that are open and busy. One even had the butcher and fishmonger counter open, that I wouldn't expect even on a normal Sunday.

(If anything I'd expect where we live to be more restrictive, the cinema isn't allowed to open on Good Friday and dancing is illegal that day too )

Oh and yes he should now give his eggs to his children. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with adults being bought eggs by their parents…. We got them from my DP and DH’s DP!
How old are the kids? Can he give them an egg each and some money?

I would have bought some. Just because they’re his children, you married him so they are your step children. All these people saying hit your responsibility 🙄. Honestly would it have hurt?! You were already getting stuff for your own son. Also getting Easter ready for your DS !!! What exactly does that entail?

I’m gobsmacked by how petty people are on mumsnet. If you marry someone with children just be a decent human being and don’t leave them out.

Presumably they got eggs at their mums house, where they were expected to be at Easter. Would it be more fair for them to get twice as many?

Just like Op's child got eggs from their auntie/uncle also. And op bought for her nieces and nephews but not her own step kids?! This is crazy to me!

@Lockheart

Your H is very out of order, he can't expect you to have things ready for a last minute visit by his children with no prior discussion. He needs to sort it.

But who the feck does presents for Easter. Aren't the mounds of novelty chocolate enough?

Quite a few people do

My fb is covered in posts of children receiving mounds of chocolate eggs, teddy bears and toys.

All those asking why she didn't just buy some eggs for dsc at the same time as ds - why aren't you asking why the father didn't buy any eggs got his children???

Well, she was in the shop buying eggs (and gifts) and he wasn't 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I had DSC I’d absolutely buy them eggs regardless of whether DH had.

Feel so sorry for these children with their useless dads and SM’s making their point.