To not make the cake DS wants?

[GingerLiberalFeminist]

I don't want to make the cake my DS(6 next week) has wanted for ages.

This is a little lighthearted but still! There's a bit of a back story so please bear with!

Back when covid hit, my friend(39) moved in with our family (DH, DS then 7 and DS then 4) so she wouldn't be on her own. She pays us rent and is very much part of the family. She also brought her two cats, let's call them Darcy and Freya.

I've never had cats before and I adore them. However, sadly Darcy was quite old and his back started to go. Last Aug friend made the decision to have him put down as he was suffering a lot. We got the full pet experience 😔

DS5 was particularly upset, as you would be. We had lots of conversations about how Darcy was in the clouds and happy now and not suffering. Normal grief processing We thought.

However around Sept, DS5 got into his head for his birthday he wanted a cake with with a picture of Darcy in the clouds.

Despite us resolutely not mentioning Darcy to try and dissuade him, DS's birthday is next week and the subject has arisen again. Darcy on a cloud is what he wants for his cake.

If you've made it thus far thank you! Please let me know, am I being unreasonable to not make this rather macabre cake for my DS? 🤣🤣🤣

Why is it macabre, I think it sounds lovely? I used to make cakes for a living and I made a wedding cake once which had the couple on top along with models of their current cat and their two deceased cats (modelled as live, obviously!). I really don't understand the objection.

I would make it. Why wouldn't you? Your DS will be so disappointed if you don't as he specifically asked for it. It's not macabre. Just a happy cat on a happy cloud

I honestly don't think it's a macabre cake. It could also be seen as celebrating Darcy's life. Just a cake with Darcy's picture and a little bit of imagination. Hugs to your son, he must miss the cat terribly.

Are you worried about having to explain it to others? I think it’s fine and will make a cute story one day.

Why can't he have that as a cake?

It would be quite simple to make a cloud themed cake and have a cat topper that looked like Darcy, maybe an elc figure of a schleich cat.

Then he would get the cake he wants and have a nice keep skae to remind him of Darcy. It sounds like a very sweet idea for a cake.

It’s rather sweet really. I’ve had worse - when I was little I asked for a cake covered in poppies because my birthday was on “Poppy Day”. I knew what they meant but didn’t really get it properly. My poor parents obliged and I was very happy. Obv now I can see it was weird but it didn’t matter.
And I was freaked out when my lovely sweet son asked for “an army cake” with people fighting. Previously it had all been octopuses, ladybirds and trains. I couldn’t bring myself to do a battlefield (!) so we compromised on camo pattern icing around the edge, and a plane flying through clouds on the top. He loved it. And is resolutely non weird and non aggressive years later.

So having run the gamut of these weird cakes, I think a fluffy cloud cat is absolutely fine!

I'm also failing to see the issue.

I'm a bad parent who is too lazy to bake her kids a birthday cake so buys them a Pokemon cake from Asda for a tenner

I think YABU. He sounds very definite in what he wants and as you haven’t given him a definitive ‘no’ you’ve let him build him his hopes up.

I would probably try and use figures/moulded icing to create the scene so the cat bit can be removed before cutting and eating though.

I would try to buy a cake topper cat that looked like Darcy. Having Darcy on the cake would mean cutting through him or someone having to eat him. It would depend if that would upset him more.

You can have images printed onto cakes, places like Asda I think do them. You get clouds and sky and then place your Darcy cat 3D topper on the cake.

He's 6. If he doesn't get his dead cat cake, all he will remember is the lack of dead cat cake. As far as anyone else needs to know, he wanted a cat themed cake.

Oh bless him. I think as long as your friend is okay with it, since she was her cat, then do what @Cornettoninja said.

Of course you should make him the cake!

Oh that’s so sweet, bless him!! 😭

Please make the cake he wants, and even though it seems “macabre” to you it must be important to him.

I wish I had a cake with my beloved Wendy in the clouds 🥺🐶💖

YABU and should make him the birthday cake he wants. He sounds lovely and caring.

Is remembering anyone we have lost macabre?
What an odd way to think.
Make him his cake, he sounds a lovely wee boy.

I think if your friend is ok with it (don't want to traumatise her either lol) then you should just go for it. It will make him really happy, and maybe it's his way of dealing with his first experience with death.

I wouldn't get the cat printed on to the cake. Just a topper of a happy looking cat and some clouds.

@Feedmepancakes omg good point!! Check the friend is OK with this first!!

Yes, you have to do this. Order a 3d cake topper as others suggest and make a cloud cake. Your son sounds lovely

There are photo editing free pages on FB I’m sure someone could do it for you - then ask for them to be put on iced toppers - it’s cheap - and then make some cup cakes.

You can then do a different birthday cake and everyone’s as winner.

@BluebellsGreenbells I think having photos of the actual cat is a bit too far for me.

This is hilarious and he sounds very, very sweet I think you'll have to make the cake!

Please make him the cake. He just wants Darcy to be part of his birthday!

Can’t you just get a cat cake topper or basic cat figure that looks like the cat and put it on top of a cake with some cloud toppers you don’t have to make it an actual picture of her if that is potentially upsetting

Another in favour of the "dead cat cake".
He's 6, he's learning about processing grief. I'd just go with it.