To not make the cake DS wants?

[GingerLiberalFeminist]

I don't want to make the cake my DS(6 next week) has wanted for ages.

This is a little lighthearted but still! There's a bit of a back story so please bear with!

Back when covid hit, my friend(39) moved in with our family (DH, DS then 7 and DS then 4) so she wouldn't be on her own. She pays us rent and is very much part of the family. She also brought her two cats, let's call them Darcy and Freya.

I've never had cats before and I adore them. However, sadly Darcy was quite old and his back started to go. Last Aug friend made the decision to have him put down as he was suffering a lot. We got the full pet experience 😔

DS5 was particularly upset, as you would be. We had lots of conversations about how Darcy was in the clouds and happy now and not suffering. Normal grief processing We thought.

However around Sept, DS5 got into his head for his birthday he wanted a cake with with a picture of Darcy in the clouds.

Despite us resolutely not mentioning Darcy to try and dissuade him, DS's birthday is next week and the subject has arisen again. Darcy on a cloud is what he wants for his cake.

If you've made it thus far thank you! Please let me know, am I being unreasonable to not make this rather macabre cake for my DS? 🤣🤣🤣

Make him the cloud cake!
Add a rainbow, hot air balloon, aeroplane or kite to draw attention away from the little cat on top! 😊

I think it’s ok!
See pics!

Oh bless him! Make him the cake he wants. Who knows it may even catch on, if Johnson is still PM for his next birthday a dead cat cake would probably be fitting for him than another Colin the Caterpillar.

Just to I’d put a cute fondant figure of happy, smiling Darcey rather than a figure of Dead Darcey... 🤭

Let him have the cake.

cancel the cheque

Aww your DS is such a sweet and sensitive boy! Be very proud of him OP and make him the Darcy cloud cake 😊

Why would it be bad? How about a cloud cake with multiple cat figures on it? So darcy is with all his cloud cat friends.

I think it’s a great idea and I’m actually stealing some of those pics because my own DC loves cats and this would be a great birthday cake for mine too.

By the way, you’re sweet too for giving a home to your friend 😊

A little fondant cat perched on a cloud? I don’t see the issue.

Something like first pic with cat not unicorn.

If your cake decorating skills are like mine then rainbow belts and blobs of buttercream 😂

You couild use an illustration from the book Goodbye Mog as a model. Excellent book by Judith Kerr, very useful way to talk about the loss of a pet, even if it isn't any good for your cake-related purposes.

It's a little bit odd, but I have given you a very gentle YABU as it's quite a sweet idea really. Could you think of it as some kind of closure? I doubt he'd continue to overthink the Darcy issue after this, the cake would probably put an end to it.

Apples don’t fall too far from the tree OP… you sound very caring to have taken in your friend and your son obviously has your caring streak.

Another vote for making him the cake! It’s his birthday and his way of processing his grief. Though frankly I’m not talented enough to make anything resembling a cat so I hope your baking skills are good!

Well, I wouldn’t be able to make it or any decent looking cake. But I think it’s totally fine, and that pp have made lots of good suggestions.

You need to do him a dead cat cake purely so you can tell every girlfriend he ever has as an adult and so that it can be included in any wedding speeches

PMSL at dead cat cake. It's the stuff of novels. You couldn't not make it, OP.

A really easy way of getting an image onto the top of a cake is to commission a cake topper. I did this a few years ago for a cake I made to celebrate a parkrun anniversary. I knocked up an image using something pasted in from the parkrun website, added a little bit of text and sent the whole thing off to a company I found online which had good reviews - ordering all done online too. I had to specify the dimensions, but it was all pretty straightforward. It wasn't expensive and the turnaround was fast. Then I made the cake, covered it with plain icing (can't remember what it was now, probably fondant) and then carefully put the topper on. Big success.

Not macabre at all.

In his mind Darcy is his friend and he wants her to be a part of his birthday.

Make his a cake with clouds on in and get a cat figurine that looks like her to stick on top. That way he can keep it to be reminded of her or if he gets upset you can remove the figurine and he’ll have a nice blue cake that he could stick some of his cars or animals on the top.

If you’re worried order some edible details off Amazon - cars, paw patrol, toy story etc whatever he likes and if the cake goes wrong he can help decorate it with things he’s interested in.

YABU and I don’t understand your reasoning at all.

Marshmallows or white icing for clouds. Little cat toy with similar markings to Darcy. Job done.

Incidentally I do love that you told us the age of your friend as if you were writing in to Blue Peter

Blue fondant icing, white cloud shapes and a fondant cat figure sitting on the top. Do it!!

If the cat wasn't dead would it be weird to you?

It's just a cat cake, cat cakes are popular right now and probably the least weird way to incorporate Darcy.

I'm imagining one of those 3d cat shape cakes (Like Jaspurr cake from ASDA) maybe with a rainbow cake filling (if you do the rainbow bridge thing), it's cute and unless you explain would even cross people's minds as anything other than a cake.

@mam0918

If the cat wasn't dead would it be weird to you?

It's just a cat cake, cat cakes are popular right now and probably the least weird way to incorporate Darcy.

I'm imagining one of those 3d cat shape cakes (Like Jaspurr cake from ASDA) maybe with a rainbow cake filling (if you do the rainbow bridge thing), it's cute and unless you explain would even cross people's minds as anything other than a cake.

• would not even cross peoples minds

How is it even in the slightest macabre??? Its not at all. I think its lovely, and I think you would be a real b###h of a mother if you didn't get the cake he wants.

Well your Ds doesn’t think it is macabre, he thinks it is happy because he believes you that the cat is happy and sitting on a fluffy cloud.

You created that picture in his mind.

I think the dead cat cake has all the makings of a family story that withstands retelling at milestone birthdays and in wedding speeches! I’d say go ahead and make it.

When my grandma’s beloved cat died, I spent months drawing angel cats on clouds in heaven. I don’t think I’m too weird!

Also, I think it’s lovely that your friend is your family and lives with you.

I think it's cute.
Death is part of life.
Maybe reframe it as a "celebration of Darcy's life" cake? 😻