To not make the cake DS wants?

[GingerLiberalFeminist]

I don't want to make the cake my DS(6 next week) has wanted for ages.

This is a little lighthearted but still! There's a bit of a back story so please bear with!

Back when covid hit, my friend(39) moved in with our family (DH, DS then 7 and DS then 4) so she wouldn't be on her own. She pays us rent and is very much part of the family. She also brought her two cats, let's call them Darcy and Freya.

I've never had cats before and I adore them. However, sadly Darcy was quite old and his back started to go. Last Aug friend made the decision to have him put down as he was suffering a lot. We got the full pet experience 😔

DS5 was particularly upset, as you would be. We had lots of conversations about how Darcy was in the clouds and happy now and not suffering. Normal grief processing We thought.

However around Sept, DS5 got into his head for his birthday he wanted a cake with with a picture of Darcy in the clouds.

Despite us resolutely not mentioning Darcy to try and dissuade him, DS's birthday is next week and the subject has arisen again. Darcy on a cloud is what he wants for his cake.

If you've made it thus far thank you! Please let me know, am I being unreasonable to not make this rather macabre cake for my DS? 🤣🤣🤣

Just a cloud themed cake, shove a tiny model of a cat on top - he gets to keep the tiny cat as a momento. Done!

If you do make it please post a picture OP! 🙏🙏🙏

Check out Papo and Schleich for model cats.

@HoliHormonalTigerlilly

I think it's cute. Death is part of life. Maybe reframe it as a "celebration of Darcy's life" cake? 😻

This ^ He's obviously processing her death, perhaps the first death that's actually affected him, and this is a lovely way to deal with it. Make a cake with a topper of marshmallows and pop a little cat figurine on top. Job done, easy, and not at all macabre. Then for his birthday buy him the final Mog book so he fully understands that death is usual, it's ok to be sad, and life goes on. www.wob.com/en-gb/books/judith-kerr/goodbye-mog/9780007149681?

I think it sounds lovely. Maybe just make a basic cat cake (with icing ears, matchmakers whiskers etc) and pipe some white icing around the board for the clouds?

Get a cat cake topper off eBay that looks like darcy then cover the top of the cake with piles of mini marshmallows for it to sit on. At least then he gets to keep a little cat rather than slice through its face.

Sounds cute if DF won’t be offended?

We have a teddy named after the dead dog

I don’t think you understand the meaning of ‘macabre’ OP. Make your son the cake he wants.

YABU! It's sounds like it's your little boy's first experience of death and also of owning a pet - albeit a second hand experience. He misses the cat and it sounds like he has a good relationship with both of them! Kids think about and process death in different ways and at different ages. I had two mice when I was a similar age and one by one they both got tumours and had to be put to sleep and I was quite upset about this, but got over it.

Definitely do the cake with a cake topper with a photo of Darcy. Add rainbows, clouds, take a photo but definitely include this - he'll remember it forever and this might be a 'stage' in his learning about death, heaven etc. He sounds like a lovely, caring, sensitive soul who's kind to animals.

Remembering Darcy on the day, perhaps with a cake, yes. It need not have a picture/icing etc with clouds etc.

Another vote for dead cat cake - if you can make a birthday cake you can do this!

Can you make a cake of something he normally likes eg paw patrol and then put a cat figurine on a cloud somewhere in the general scene. So the cat ion the cloud is there but the wider picture is more birthday/normal?

Are you reluctant because you think it might upset your friend?

I think the wider issue is it telling kids unrealistic stories about death.

The risk is that some other worldly wise kid will recount a tale if their cat being buried in the garden and dig up and eaten by a fox, or something.

I would create a Darcy cake in advance if the birthday and say bye bye to Darcy.

Then create or provide another cake that will delight and distract him on his birthday.

YANBU I agree with you OP

Please make him the cake. It’s probably part of his grieving process which is helpful to him and you need to support…

Make a cake like this and stick a cat cake topper on the top. Job done.

My son (when he was about 4) used to sob at night, whenever he was upset, that he missed our dog who was dead. He never met the dog, he died before he was born. When I used to point this out to him he cried even more because he had never met him. Make his cake!

Do it. Our cat died when DS was slightly younger than your DS and we made a scrapbook with pictures of our cat, DS and our cat together, pictures of things our cat liked, and stories about his life, some real, and some that DS made up.

I don't see this as much different. He wants to remember Darcy and keep her with him.

I’d be pleased at such an easy theme!

Blue icing, white (flat) fondant clouds & a cat shaped biscuit cutter to make cat. Only difficulty is if the cat was an awkward colour, in which case go for the model toy cat as a cake topper.

@ImWearingReallyJudgyPants

PMSL at dead cat cake. It's the stuff of novels. You couldn't not make it, OP.

😂

Me too. I’ve got ‘dead cat cake’ running through my head.

OP, it’s not macabre. It’s a nice portrayal of Darcy in Cat Heaven. That’s the sugar coated version of what’s happened. Embrace it 😂

Why do you think this is macabre? It's lovely.

Make him the cake and show that his feelings matter to you. He'll be so pleased.

I would buy a nice cat figure/ornament that is the right colouring for Darcy.
make a lovely cloud cake with lots of delicious white fluffy icing and put the cat figure on it.
Then he can keep the cat figure afterwards as a nice reminder.

This made me laugh
God bless him, I think it's really sweet :)

I think you should definitely make it for him