AIBU to feel overwhelmed by non-binary, cancel culture, and woke society?

[FordSiesta]

I've got to the stage where I feel quite apprehensive about the future. It just feels like there will be no 'men' or 'women' or 'boys' and 'girls' and everyone will need to conform to various gender identities and have to remember all the different ways people identify so as not to accidently offend anyone. I'm supportive of transgender people and understand people changing from male to female or vice versa but now there's all this non-binary stuff it's getting confusing.

All these things going on in this 'woke society' and if you aren't seen as wanting to conform with all this new stuff then the 'cancel culture' comes at you.

I just feel like I would be happy if there wasn't so much pressure placed on people to get pronouns correct if for millions of years we've used he/him and she/her and now we need to say they/them when we were taught in school they/them was plural.

I don't have kids yet but I do wonder if I did what the world would be like for them growing up.

AIBU for wanting to just continue with two genders?

I've nothing to add except to say that I get what you're saying.
I feel too old and my brain almost hurts with all of this.

Ignorance is bliss
I just ignore
It’s very important on mumsnet
But amongst friends and family…. We just don’t talk about it

I can’t remember 300 genders, it’s ridiculous. So is people identifying as disabled, different ages and animals.

I've just changed my language to be neutral with my dcs friends so I don't have to keep up with their ever changing identities. They/them has been used for many years as a singular so it's not a big deal imo.

It’s just the latest fad. We’ll have real problems soon, aside from navel gazing, like if we can eat or possibly war. This will help put things in perspective for those whose lives are in a bubble in their own head.

@Toanewstart23

Ignorance is bliss I just ignore It’s very important on mumsnet But amongst friends and family…. We just don’t talk about it

Do you have teens? In my experience it is almost impossible to ignore if you do.

Just do what I do and say No Thank You to it all. It's just bollocks - I refuse to be barked at by any more blue haired Twitter wankers about my "transphobia" when actually I just understand biology.

If you can remember someone’s name, you can remember their gender. The vast majority of people still identify within a binary male/female (it’s certain other groups who think trans man and trans woman make extra identities).

As for cancel culture, if you say something people don’t like, they stop listening to you. Isn’t that how it’s been forever?

I think you've been reading the Daily Mail. In real life so long as you make a decent effort to get pronouns and terminology right and are prepared to admit your ignorance and apologise if you get something wrong then an accidental slip up isn't a disaster and you don't get 'cancelled'. Being kind to people and respectful of their beliefs and identify isn't a new thing.

I'm not overwhelmed, just irritated. I reserve the right to speak the truth and say that men cannot become women and women cannot become men.

Think you're mixing up gender and sex, @FelicityBeedle ! I agree, we should definitely make an effort to remember people's genders and preferred pronouns. It's an important part of identity for many people. My sole issue with it is when it gets into confusion about actual biological sexes.

Me, we are all just people aren't we.
It's always been the role of the young to challenge things.
As for cancel culture, is it so bad to ignore people who upset others? Should we tolerate those that continually cause offence? I'd cancel racists for a start.

People who are just writing as if this is just like any other rights frontier are deluded. Teenage girls I teach and know through my kids are fleeing, en masse, from adult woman hood. We’ve gone from one non binary kid to over 70 this school year, and those are only the ones that are official to teachers. Now you may say “oh that’s just a fad” but some of these kids have told me about their desire for medical outcomes. One of my sixth formers is saving for private surgery because the wait list is too long on the NHS.

Also for teachers it’s bloody serious. I already have colleagues who have been called into speak to the Head for eg. Teaching that Plato talked about men and women, or else calling someone “she” in their absence when they have been a “they” for about two nanoseconds.

This is not “the kids are alright”, the ramifications are bloody terrifying for all concerned.

If I thought about it too much so would I.

We are living in a bizarrely polarised world.

I do think the worst of it will burn itself out, because it’s just not sustainable. And hopefully what will be left will be better treatment of transpeople, without foregrounding their concerns over those of bigger minority groups.

So I remain optimistic (perhaps while considering buying shares in the drug companies rubbing their hands).

"I agree, we should definitely make an effort to remember people's genders and preferred pronouns. It's an important part of identity for many people."

This is the concern for me, that some people are requiring important parts of their personality to be validated externally by other people. With absolute rage if people don't validate it, and stern warnings of dire consequences if people try to remember, but get it wrong or forget. It's like people insisting that you remember the music genre they most closely follow, and refer to them by unique terms that relate to that music genre, with no consistent outward physical signs that indicate an allegiance to that music genre. And who then call you a hateful bigot if you get it wrong or don't want to engage with it all.

Two sexes. Gender ideology is misogynist and homophobic.

To quote a couple of very impressive women, ‘without sex there is no same sex attraction’ and ‘if you can’t see sex you can’t see sexism.’

I think you've been reading the Daily Mail.

Utter bollocks. People are losing their jobs for daring to state that biological sex is real. Children’s bodies are quite literally being mutilated. Women’s hard-won single-sex spaces are being eroded. Trans ideology isn’t just about “being kind”. Wake up.

I don't get it but it's hard to ignore when my teenagers have drunk the kool aid.

People can identify as a he / she/ they / fridge freezer for all I care, as long as they are happy.

But I can't get my head round why gender even exists- surely you should just identify as your biological sex

@RoseslnTheHospital

"I agree, we should definitely make an effort to remember people's genders and preferred pronouns. It's an important part of identity for many people."

This is the concern for me, that some people are requiring important parts of their personality to be validated externally by other people. With absolute rage if people don't validate it, and stern warnings of dire consequences if people try to remember, but get it wrong or forget. It's like people insisting that you remember the music genre they most closely follow, and refer to them by unique terms that relate to that music genre, with no consistent outward physical signs that indicate an allegiance to that music genre. And who then call you a hateful bigot if you get it wrong or don't want to engage with it all.

@RoseslnTheHospital this! It feels like you are in my head right now, that's exactly what I mean!

I don't care what others do as long as I, as a biological woman, am not forced to give up my sex-based human rights.

I am not going to be forced to specify my gender. I don't need to. Gender doesn't come into it. I'm a woman with two x-chromosomes and that's it.

I have a family member who is a manager for McDonald’s. They are redesigning their name badges so staff can add their pronouns. Who the fuck cares or even needs to know the pronouns of the batch cook in McDonald’s.