AIBU to feel overwhelmed by non-binary, cancel culture, and woke society?

[FordSiesta]

I've got to the stage where I feel quite apprehensive about the future. It just feels like there will be no 'men' or 'women' or 'boys' and 'girls' and everyone will need to conform to various gender identities and have to remember all the different ways people identify so as not to accidently offend anyone. I'm supportive of transgender people and understand people changing from male to female or vice versa but now there's all this non-binary stuff it's getting confusing.

All these things going on in this 'woke society' and if you aren't seen as wanting to conform with all this new stuff then the 'cancel culture' comes at you.

I just feel like I would be happy if there wasn't so much pressure placed on people to get pronouns correct if for millions of years we've used he/him and she/her and now we need to say they/them when we were taught in school they/them was plural.

I don't have kids yet but I do wonder if I did what the world would be like for them growing up.

AIBU for wanting to just continue with two genders?

@Innocenta

Think you're mixing up gender and sex, *@FelicityBeedle* ! I agree, we should definitely make an effort to remember people's genders and preferred pronouns. It's an important part of identity for many people. My sole issue with it is when it gets into confusion about actual biological sexes.

The problem with this is that they decided to use the same words for their gender identities that were already in use to describe the two sexes. Almost as if they intended for there to be some confusion.

@babyjellyfish

If you understand people changing from male to female then you understand more than I do, OP.

As far as I know this isn't scientifically possible and what they are actually doing is just cross dressing.

Good grief, are you serious…cross-dressing, just wow.

Ignore it. It's all absolute BS designed to divide and conquer. You be your lovely self - that's good enough.

@GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy

Just do what I do and say No Thank You to it all. It's just bollocks - I refuse to be barked at by any more blue haired Twitter wankers about my "transphobia" when actually I just understand biology.

This.

Misogynist bellends, the lots of them. Who gives a shit about being called 'transphobic' these days anyway, the word has become meaningless?

But I can't get my head round why gender even exists- surely you should just identify as your biological sex

Because gender is a way of keeping women in their place. ‘Twas ever thus. We really haven’t moved on anywhere near as much as we’d like to think.

My advice is to ignore it in your daily life and go on living as you always have done. I vote for politicians who seem to have their heads screwed on straight, but in my day to day life, I don't encounter this ridiculousness very often. It's amplified online, but most regular people know it's insanity, ime.

I do understand the worry about where this might lead, but it helps to remember that the loudest voices are just that. They're the loudest, shouting and demanding to be heard (and indulged in their craziness and lack of reason and logic). What you don't hear are the normal people keeping their heads down and getting on with life. They haven't all bought into this nonsense.

My biggest concern is that a generation of young people might be brainwashed into accepting all this. Parents and grandparents need to be unafraid of teaching their children the truths of biology.

Good grief, are you serious…cross-dressing, just wow.

Cross dressers come under the 'trans umbrella' according to Stonewall.

Any condition that is diagnosed by the person afflicted and then validated by others is not okay.

Any condition that requires the validation of friends, family and absolute strangers is absolute bullshit.

I am not responsible for the mental health of anyone else. Any care plan reliant on the kindness of strangers is not well thought out and is dangerous.

Who is preparing these children for adult life, where they will meet women like me who say no, I am not prepared to join in your deluded fantasy and potentially your kink.

I see it as male,female and whatever.Theyre are only two definite sexes.

@StScholastica - yes, sorry, I thought it was obvious!

I'm a lesbian; I am not even a tiny bit trying to suggest it's ok to dismiss lesbians as women trying to be men, or say homosexuality is too confusing to accept. But that's the sort of thing people have said (and do say) to legitimise homophobia.

Likewise, speaking out against 'woke society' just sounds like someone trying to excuse being racist.

Cross dressers come under the 'trans umbrella' according to Stonewall

Here's what Stonewall have to say about this:

Trans people may describe themselves using one or more of a wide variety of terms, including (but not limited to) transgender, transsexual, gender-queer (GQ), gender-fluid, non-binary, gender-variant, crossdresser, genderless, agender, nongender, third gender, bi-gender, trans man, trans woman,trans masculine, trans feminine and neutrois.

@AgathaMystery

Any condition that is diagnosed by the person afflicted and then validated by others is not okay.

Any condition that requires the validation of friends, family and absolute strangers is absolute bullshit.

I am not responsible for the mental health of anyone else. Any care plan reliant on the kindness of strangers is not well thought out and is dangerous.

Who is preparing these children for adult life, where they will meet women like me who say no, I am not prepared to join in your deluded fantasy and potentially your kink.

Absolutely bang on!

How many more goady threads on this do we need? ‘Oh, I’m soooo confuuuused!’ Of course you are, love…

I don't understand the need to put labels on everyone. What is being touted as gender identity is surely just personality. Some personalities conform to sex stereotypes, some don't, and most people are a mixture. There are two sexes and you can't magically change sex just by saying that you feel like the opposite sex some days.

I wonder what will happen to learning about human biology if we continue on the path of "men have a penis, but so do women, pregnant people, person with a cervix... " And then of course the absolute belief that believing in human biology is "literal violence".

@WomanStanleyWoman

How many more goady threads on this do we need? ‘Oh, I’m soooo confuuuused!’ Of course you are, love…

This.

I'm fed up trying to pretend that differences between sexes don't exist. It's just tiresome and at some point I'm going to lose my shit at work and just state truths.

I think this is a part of an overall top down campaign to isolate and segregate society, everything that matters these days is online. Online shit can easily be manipulated, our views do not matter. It is our children who will be brainwashed influenced. I really admire all of the people fighting against the tide.

@WomanStanleyWoman

How many more goady threads on this do we need? ‘Oh, I’m soooo confuuuused!’ Of course you are, love…

This is the issue. The absolute rejection of any questioning or discussion, to the point of labelling it goady. A flat "no debate" as if we're all meant to turn our brains off and sit on our hands.

Yes you are being unreasonable

@WomanStanleyWoman

How many more goady threads on this do we need? ‘Oh, I’m soooo confuuuused!’ Of course you are, love…

To be fair, it is pretty confusing as to how we ended up in a situation where male rapists get put in cells with female prisoners, or male rape crisis centre managers tell female rape victims who don't want to share refuge with males that they are bigoted and just need to 'reframe their trauma' but hey ho......

@FelicityBeedle

If you can remember someone’s name, you can remember their gender. The vast majority of people still identify within a binary male/female (it’s certain other groups who think trans man and trans woman make extra identities).

As for cancel culture, if you say something people don’t like, they stop listening to you. Isn’t that how it’s been forever?

Most people don't change their first names but when you have drama queens in schools changing their pronouns once a week, it's impossible to keep up.

if you say something people don’t like, they stop listening to you
So far, so normal. But you've forgotten to add in the bit where they organise pile-ons to get you dismissed from your employer, and turn up outside your house.

This is the issue. The absolute rejection of any questioning or discussion, to the point of labelling it goady. A flat "no debate" as if we're all meant to turn our brains off and sit on our hands.

I suggest you check out the FWR section of MN. You will find that, in fact, questioning and discussion of this issue is entirely sectioned. There is masses of it. If you read the Guardian, you will also find a healthy proportion of articles on the subject (not all in agreement, but in sum reflecting arguments for diverse points of view).

There is plenty of discussion and room for discussion.

Likewise, speaking out against 'woke society' just sounds like someone trying to excuse being racist.

Rubbish. I share the OP’s concerns as I object to being called a bigot because I recognize biological sex (and therefore same-sex attraction). I support the rights of girls and women to single-sex spaces. My views are protected in law. That is absolutely nothing like “being racist”, and as a woman of colour I find the likening of my feminism to racism deeply misguided at best. Please think about what you’re actually implying.