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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irked by friends 'confidence'?

179 replies

stuffedcookie · 05/02/2022 11:34

One of my close friends is a really lovely person and has a lot of excellent qualities. She's also the vainest person I know and I don't know whether to be annoyed by it or to admire her belief in herself!

For example. She is constantly taking selfies. Whatever we are doing. We went out for a meal and drinks and I took pictures of both of us. When I take pictures she says 'oh my god I look stunning, can you send me them please'. When she takes pictures its just of her. She posts a lot on social media with captions like 'I know, I'm gorgeous'. On this evening out, I went to the bathroom and on my return she asked me how the lighting was, so she could go and do a photo shoot in the toilets.

Am I just bitter that I don't feel quite that confident in my looks or is she OTT?

OP posts:
LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 05/02/2022 11:35

She sounds deranged. It’s not you.

Ridiculeisnothingtobescaredof · 05/02/2022 11:35

I don't know anybody at all who boasts like she does, never heard anyone say that. I don't think she's as confident as she comes across, I think she's actually insecure and is just faking it.

Toanewstart23 · 05/02/2022 11:36

Don’t know about confident

But certainly bloody rude and self absorbed

RampantIvy · 05/02/2022 11:36

She sounds rather dull and self-absorbed.

BlackSatinBand · 05/02/2022 11:36

That sounds a bit….odd!

Sofiegiraffe · 05/02/2022 11:36

This sounds more like vanity than confidence to me. The latter can be an admirable and endearing quality. The former is just plain self absorbed and not at all attractive.

FairyLightAddict · 05/02/2022 11:37

She sounds very odd!

AutumnLeaves21 · 05/02/2022 11:37

🤣🤣🤣
Can see how this is irritating OP but I certainly won’t knock her for it. If only all women had this confidence, because a lot of men certainly do. Good on her, I suppose. Grin

TheViewFromTheCheapSeats · 05/02/2022 11:37

Does she put down others? I’m more bothered by those who put down others to find their self-worth, if she’s just self-focused but otherwise pleasant to others it wouldn’t overly bother me.

Sofiegiraffe · 05/02/2022 11:38

When I take pictures she says 'oh my god I look stunning, can you send me them please'.

I don't know anyone who says this, for example.

Yamalt · 05/02/2022 11:38

As tedious as it might be to put up with on a regular basis, I can’t help but feel like ‘good on her’ for having some self confidence and love in this day and age where so many people feel like shit about themselves.

Mercurial123 · 05/02/2022 11:38

She sounds delusional and immature.

Sofiegiraffe · 05/02/2022 11:38

Is she "stunning", OP?

InisnaBro · 05/02/2022 11:38

She doesn’t sound ‘confident’ all, she sounds obsessed with staging her life on SM, and tiresomely vain.

LemonViolet · 05/02/2022 11:39

That’s not confidence. A confident person is not obsessed with what they look like. That’s just vain. And also boring. And quite pitiful to be honest - selfie photo shoot in a pub toilet? Sad!

Original poster
stuffedcookie · 05/02/2022 11:39

@TheViewFromTheCheapSeats

Does she put down others? I’m more bothered by those who put down others to find their self-worth, if she’s just self-focused but otherwise pleasant to others it wouldn’t overly bother me.
She doesn't typically but she had recently liked a guy she met through work and found out he had a girlfriend and remarked 'but obviously she's not a patch on me'. Hard to tell if she's being sincere or not!

Other than that no, she's usually pretty complimentary about others.

OP posts:
FuckYouPenny · 05/02/2022 11:40

Each to their own 'n all that but I'd find it tedious to be in the company of someone who did this

AutumnLeaves21 · 05/02/2022 11:40

@Sofiegiraffe

Is she "stunning", OP?
Doesn’t matter IMO. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if she feels like she is, well, great! I wish I did.
Original poster
stuffedcookie · 05/02/2022 11:40

@Sofiegiraffe

Is she "stunning", OP?
I'd say striking. She has some quite unique features.
OP posts:
CounsellorTroi · 05/02/2022 11:40

Does she get a lot of likes when she posts selfies with those captions?

Nohypocrate · 05/02/2022 11:41

Your friend is totally the opposite of confident.

Original poster
stuffedcookie · 05/02/2022 11:41

@Sofiegiraffe

When I take pictures she says 'oh my god I look stunning, can you send me them please'.

I don't know anyone who says this, for example.

I'd maybe say if a friend took one of both of us 'that's nice, can you send me it?' but I'd mean in general of both of us rather than just me!
OP posts:
Chocaholic9 · 05/02/2022 11:44

No, it isn't normal.

Sofiegiraffe · 05/02/2022 11:44

I'd maybe say if a friend took one of both of us 'that's nice, can you send me it?' but I'd mean in general of both of us rather than just me!

Yes exactly- me too! But I wouldn't say "I look stunning on that, can you send it to me".

Fearnyleaves · 05/02/2022 11:44

I think it sounds boring too. I'd probably roll my eyes a lot. But I don't think there should be any shame in a woman acknowledging when they look great. As women we put ourselves down far to often. If it makes her feel good taking endless selfies then good for her. I look like a thumb in all mine.

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