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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irked by friends 'confidence'?

179 replies

stuffedcookie · 05/02/2022 11:34

One of my close friends is a really lovely person and has a lot of excellent qualities. She's also the vainest person I know and I don't know whether to be annoyed by it or to admire her belief in herself!

For example. She is constantly taking selfies. Whatever we are doing. We went out for a meal and drinks and I took pictures of both of us. When I take pictures she says 'oh my god I look stunning, can you send me them please'. When she takes pictures its just of her. She posts a lot on social media with captions like 'I know, I'm gorgeous'. On this evening out, I went to the bathroom and on my return she asked me how the lighting was, so she could go and do a photo shoot in the toilets.

Am I just bitter that I don't feel quite that confident in my looks or is she OTT?

OP posts:
LaDamaDeElche · 06/02/2022 19:28

I can see how it's annoying. People who boast about things are boring, whether it be looks, money, job, sex life etc. It usually stems from one of two things; (unless they are very young and a bit shallow or immature) a lack of self confidence or narcissism. Grounded, confident people don't behave like that.

Jjones8 · 06/02/2022 19:55

She’s a narcissist.

Twattergy · 06/02/2022 19:57

If she's otherwise a good friend and a nice person then I'd say she sounds like fun! If she is genuinely joyful and happy about herself that'd be really cheering to be around. Oes she make you fell good about youself? Does she 'lift up' the women around her? If so, thats all good. I'd find constant selfies annoying though.

Bertiebiscuit · 06/02/2022 20:04

Tbh she sounds nuts and a bit Bonkers -
people who think they are gorgeous don't usually behave like this imo - she sounds mentally unwell

covilha · 06/02/2022 20:05

Many men have this level of confidence, isn’t it about time we had some equality in this area too?

LaDamaDeElche · 06/02/2022 20:12

@covilha

Many men have this level of confidence, isn’t it about time we had some equality in this area too?
Guys who go round saying how fit they are are twats 🤷🏻‍♀️
wentworthinmate · 06/02/2022 20:36

Wouldn't be a friend of mine that's for sure. How on earth do you put up with that???

optimistic40 · 06/02/2022 20:48

You've said that she's a good friend and fun company. I would be able to overlook this. Also v bored of hearing other women complaining about their appearance!

Flowerpower23 · 06/02/2022 20:52

This reminds me of my ex, he used to tell me to be thankful he hadn’t cheated on me as he could get any woman he wanted, if he chose to! And would mention girls names we knew saying ‘if I wanted her she would sleep with me’ etc. When I told him it was arrogant he told me I was getting confused with confidence! Also he was overweight and balding! Fml!!!

Flowerpower23 · 06/02/2022 20:52

And now lives with his 80 year old grandma! 🤣🤣🤣

Bunchymcbunchface · 06/02/2022 21:11

I once laid on my sunbed and watched a lady take posed pictures of herself and her cocktail on the beach for 45 minutes.
It was the strangest thing to watch, she then sauntered off and binned it as it’d obviously warmed up too much to drink.

Being confident is great, but living in and enjoying the moment is better.

sometimespeopletakethepiss · 06/02/2022 21:17

She sounds insecure as opposed to confidence to be honest.

I wouldn't be jealous at all if I were you.

Fluffmum · 06/02/2022 21:23

She sounds irritating

roarfeckingroarr · 06/02/2022 21:24

She sounds funny - the picture of her face comment would make me laugh. Good on her for not feeling she has to do herself down.

covilha · 06/02/2022 21:48

@LaDamaDeElche Men often have a higher level of confidence, many of them are not tests. It would be good for many ladies if they too could have this trait

LaDamaDeElche · 06/02/2022 21:50

[quote covilha]@LaDamaDeElche Men often have a higher level of confidence, many of them are not tests. It would be good for many ladies if they too could have this trait[/quote]
There's a big difference between ego and confidence. Confident people don't constantly blow their own trumpet.

mrbreezeet1 · 06/02/2022 21:56

You'd need to post a picture of her so we can decide.

Arabellla · 06/02/2022 21:58

@mrbreezeet1

You'd need to post a picture of her so we can decide.
Decide what?
Clumsyvolcano · 06/02/2022 22:13

That’s not confidence, that’s painfully low self confidence in disguise. She’s OTT

Bleachmycloths · 06/02/2022 22:16

Childish. Sounds a PITA. Not normal. But - How much does it matter?

EllaB22 · 06/02/2022 22:27

Very strange / immature behaviour!

Blinky21 · 06/02/2022 23:02

She sounds incredibly insecure if anything

DarthTater3 · 07/02/2022 01:08

I wouldn’t say/do what you’ve described but I wouldn’t have an issue with a friend who did. A lot of quite judgemental responses here. As long as she’s not hurting anyone else let her get on with it.

pigeonf · 07/02/2022 10:27

She sounds like one of my colleagues who often tells us how good she looks, how everyone was admiring her when she was walking to work that day and how amazing she is at her job, never gets anything wrong etc etc

Self confidence is one thing but this attitude gets very tiresome especially as she is not any more perfect or amazing at her job as anyone else

emsmar · 07/02/2022 10:30

@Louisianagumbo

😂😂😂 I love her attitude. She's sounds fabulous. I'd just laugh (and maybe roll my eyes but in fun).
Same!