To be irked by friends 'confidence'?

[stuffedcookie]

One of my close friends is a really lovely person and has a lot of excellent qualities. She's also the vainest person I know and I don't know whether to be annoyed by it or to admire her belief in herself!

For example. She is constantly taking selfies. Whatever we are doing. We went out for a meal and drinks and I took pictures of both of us. When I take pictures she says 'oh my god I look stunning, can you send me them please'. When she takes pictures its just of her. She posts a lot on social media with captions like 'I know, I'm gorgeous'. On this evening out, I went to the bathroom and on my return she asked me how the lighting was, so she could go and do a photo shoot in the toilets.

Am I just bitter that I don't feel quite that confident in my looks or is she OTT?

She sounds like my very precocious 5yo! I don't want to crush her spirit but I've started to get to reign in it ever so slightly - no one likes a bloody boaster. I'd be horrified if she was so vain as an adult. YANBU I would find it very hard to take her seriously and if she was a close friend I would laugh at her and tell her to get over herself, no one in my group of friends would get away with this

There’s being confident and there’s being vain, arrogant and self obsessed. She’s the latter and I would have to take the piss out of her in order to cope with her.

@RobertaFirmino

A photoshoot in a bathroom too? How classy.. Don't think Kate moss's career started off like that

I suspect Ms. Moss spent a lot of time in bathrooms at the height of her career...

Yeah but not for photoshoots and it didn't start off her career, that's what I said

So she's confident and proud about herself. Kind to others. You have said she's very attractive. Angry posters on here say she's delusional! Wish their were more women like your friend.

I'd bet she isn't sure if she thinks she is 'good looking' or not. Maybe due to her unique features. So she is constantly critiquing herself, and looking for validation from others, that those features do indeed make her good looking. She is insecure about herself.

She sounds dull, dull, 😑

😂😂😂 I love her attitude. She's sounds fabulous. I'd just laugh (and maybe roll my eyes but in fun).

Self-obsessed.

Selfi…sh

That’s the second time today I’ve posted that. What IS it with some women’s complete & total obsession with themselves? Is it SM? Is it the never ending goal to be perfect? Do they actually think they’re that stunning? Competition to be prettier than any other woman?
It seems very unhealthy & self-absorbed.
And sooner or later their looks will go - what then?

@Sometimeswinning

So she's confident and proud about herself. Kind to others. You have said she's very attractive. Angry posters on here say she's delusional! Wish their were more women like your friend.

I'm not angry it's my point of view. I wouldn't hang around with these people.

A lot of the PP are choosing to ignore the fact that OP has clearly stated that her friend is lovely with lots of positive qualities. The comment about the guy's girlfriend sounds like said in fun. I think lots of the friend's comments are being misinterpreted as serious. She sounds insecure to me. I think, if she literally spoils the night, a light hearted OK you've got 5 mins for pics then no more please, is in order. I'm intrigued to know what her unique features are.

Oh dear lord... i feel like this cant be real... who is so self absorbed that they live life like that?!... theres self love then theres this...

In my experience this is a lack of self-confidence, constantly needing praise and reassurance, even from herself. Like tedious gym bunnies and dieters

i would feel sorry for her, maybe she feels nobody loves her so she has to love herself. next time she does this just say yeah yeah we all know how beautiful you are and change the subject, or say something like not another photo, just ignore it.

@Sofiegiraffe

When I take pictures she says 'oh my god I look stunning, can you send me them please'.

I don't know anyone who says this, for example.

In a way she seems completely detached from herself, this sounds less like vanity than a kind of frank self-objectifying.

She sounds highly annoying. You don't have to be that self absorbed and good looking. Maybe she is trying to get an Insta following. She's career selfying

I think when people are so obsessed with their looks they might feel under confident in other areas such as emotional maturity and intellect. Perhaps change the topic to the news or literature and see if she tones down

She sounds insufferable!

Attractive on the outside (maybe) unattractive on the inside (definately).

This isn't confidence.
She sounds boring, narcissistic and self-absorbed.
"Confidence" would be telling her to face to fuck off.

I mean - is she hurting anyone? I have friends like this - i can’t get angry or annoyed by it really. I would probably find it a little amusing. You say she’s alright normally, so I’m not seeing the issue.

Is she as gorgeous looking as she thinks she is?

I personally think it's nice to see a woman feeling good about herself... she sounds self absorbed but if she's otherwise a wonderful person I think YABU a bit!

It’s actually a sign of little self confidence. She needs validation from others

@lioncitygirl

I mean - is she hurting anyone? I have friends like this - i can’t get angry or annoyed by it really. I would probably find it a little amusing. You say she’s alright normally, so I’m not seeing the issue.

Yes and the responses to this thread are really enforcing my fondness for her.

She's kind and she's fun to be around. Yes she makes comments occasionally about her looks and takes pictures of her self (worth mentioning they're posted unfiltered so its not like she's altering her appearance in any way) but it's actually less boring than hearing someone go on about how much they dislike themselves and their looks!