Family staying after new baby

[Carey55]

Just had DD (3 weeks old) DS is 3. In laws coming to stay for two weeks, I think this is too long and would prefer a week or at most 10 days. My hormones are all over the place so quite prepared to be told I’m being unreasonable.

If anyone even suggested this it would infuriate me so much. Absolutely not being unreasonable.

Also, congrats on the birth of your daughter!

Congratulations.

Tell then to stay in a hotel.

Or leave them with the kids and take yourself away to the hotel.

who has agreed to the two weeks stay? That is a disgrace and they shouldnt want to be imposing on your time with a new baby. Says alot about them. Boundaries now

I think you’re a saint to consider them staying at all. You’ve just had a baby!

Can’t they stay at a hotel/Airbnb instead?

No one should be staying now. You should be left alone. No sleeping over visitors

Why are they coming to stay for that length of time?! are they the type that will be unobtrusive and help you get sleep when needed, do meals etc for you, or the type that will expect to be looked after and make life difficult? I would have hated it!

Oh dear poor you. I'd say no as soon as possible. Tell them a night or two is plenty and that you need time to adjust as a family to the new arrival.

I’d invite them for 7 days max if they want longer they stay in hotel for the 2nd week. Ideally they stay in a hotel or holiday let for the whole visit.

Why two weeks?!

My DP who are lovely and I get on with brilliantly came to stay for a week when DD was 3 weeks old. I love them but I struggled. I didn't want to wap my boobs out in front of my dad so going up and down the stairs to feed was a nightmare. Having MIL for a week would have been 1000x worse. So no, YANBU at all! Could they stay at a hotel? Tbh I'd just say it is too long and let them deal with it.

1st child ? Does dh have paternity time and if so why do il need to be there?
It changes the dynamic completely having people staying over and for 2 weeks ? Personally I'd hate it.
Dh should be your advocate and door keeper to visitors, family or otherwise.

God, even 1 week seems overkill

Just NO !

YABU to even consider a week.

We weekend, Fri eve to Sunday afternoon.

It's 2nd dc

No.
They need to stay at a hotel.

No nights at your house. You need to rest and recover in peace .

Sweet Lord. Say NO, and say it very loudly. If they absolutely must visit, they should stay in a hotel. Unless they are exceptionally helpful, and prepared to help/prepare food/keep out of the way so you can rest/help do your housework then I would absolutely not have guests. They are being completely unreasonable.

No! Why are you even entertaining this idea? Is it your first? You will not want them around and it will forever ruin that precious time with your brand new baby.

Tell dh he needs to send them links to Air B&B. Play the assume they will appreciate getting a proper sleep than being kept awake by 2 x dc card..

YANBU at all! Like a PP said, I would be angry at the mere suggestion. Put your foot down and say no, I'm sure you won't regret it.

Depends. Will they

1. be enormous help to you, and lovely for you to be around, or
2. not be 1. If 2, how on Earth has this come to pass?

So really they want to stay with you for 2 weeks so they get to hold and cuddle your baby till their heart content whilst you and your DH put them up and wait on them. What an absolute cheek. I’d tell them to do one. This is your time to bond with your baby not theirs.

As poster above… will they be help or hinderance?
Each to their own I suppose and I see pretty much all comments so far are highly against it however, me personally would have welcomed that with my second colic/ unsettled baby with a very energetic and demanding toddler and my PND whilst DH worked 50 hours a week.
Two weeks is long if you’re having to entertain them but can seem short if you’re in need of them.

No.
It's the worst time. They don't need to kip at your house.
Why do so many IL's think this is a smashing idea?
It was bad enough after an awful birth with DS1, beginnings of PND and some nasty birth injuries that wouldn't heal, when useless DH thought it was a cracking idea to give his parents a set of keys so they could 'pop in' whenever.
Let's just say that didn't last long.
Rest, recovery, privacy, bonding, finding your feet without endless 'advice' - all this stuff is really important. You can't do that with other people there 24/7. It's about you & DD OP. Do what you think is right and no guilt attached.

Guests are like fish. After 3 days it’s gone rotten