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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off my husband lost his wedding jacket?

459 replies

Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 03:09

He went on his Christmas do and not only did he decide it was on to walk home 2 miles in not the best weather (I still can't believe his friends would let him do that) but he lost our wedding jacket, that does make very, very pissed off/sad.

OP posts:
Shalalalainthemorning · 04/12/2021 03:17

Rofl, its a wedding jacket. Not as if its worth anything or can be sold for profit.

Skinnymimi · 04/12/2021 03:22

Men… so annoying… let it go OP, only you will be sad. But I understand and feel for you.

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 03:24

Obviously it's not the material but the sentimental value of said jacket.

OP posts:
StrongerOrWeaker · 04/12/2021 03:24

Couldn't get worked up about this. When I think about it, I am not sure where my wedding dress is!

Shalalalainthemorning · 04/12/2021 03:28

Its a wedding jacket....

I donated my wedding dress after our wedding. Its not as if id need it again nor will my daughter want to wear something out of fashion (in her time).

And my husbands outfit was just a wedding suit/tux...no idea where it is.

OP sounds like she has a princess complex

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 03:28

We got married with semi normal clothes, and do wear them for special occasions.

OP posts:
Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 03:30

@shalala we crossed posted, but as I mentioned we wear our wedding outfit every now and then (for special occasions) because I wore a nice summery Ted Baker dress and he wore a velvet jacket. We tend to wear them when we go on "dates".

OP posts:
namechangeobvs1988 · 04/12/2021 03:31

Leave him alone

steff13 · 04/12/2021 03:35

If he lost it before the wedding, I'd be upset. After, not so much. Here most men rent their clothes for a wedding, so you never see it again after the day. If he went to a work Christmas party how many places could he have lost it? Maybe someone will turn it in to lost and found.

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 03:36

He thinks he only went to two places, but he can't remember when he took it off or if he dropped it, etc... His workmates always like to get him drunk, because he becomes the clown.

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 04/12/2021 03:59

A feeling is a feeling.
What way are you behaving towards him though? and would you tolerate that or think it was acceptable if it acted the same way towards you if you lost something?
That should give you your answer!

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 04:02

Well it obviously doesn't help that we agreed he'd call me to pick him up, but never did. And he didn't answer his phone... But I'm really more annoyed with his friends about that. I'm not against him having a good time, but just either keep me posted or Kae sure you get home safely. I don't think I'm asking for anything too unreasonable.

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 04/12/2021 04:09

Do you suspect him of lying about something or do you just think he was being weird choosing to walk instead of getting a lift?

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 04:12

I'm sure he just thought it was easier in the long run to walk home... But he would have got here soaking wet at around 5 in the morning (if he even got here!) But I half expected that, it's the jacket that really annoyed me in the end.

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 04/12/2021 04:18

Ok so if it's the jacket that annoyed you then as I said a feeling is a feeling, you're not unreasonable to have a feeling.

But what matters is how you're acting about it?

GiltEdges · 04/12/2021 04:22

he lost our wedding jacket

It's "his" wedding jacket, surely?

I'm really more annoyed with his friends

Don't be, seriously. He's an adult man who's responsible for himself. It isn't for his friends to make sure he calls you to pick him up, nor would they be able to "get him drunk" unless he wanted to. Stop infantilising him.

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 04:33

I'm trying to pass the time downstairs as I can't sleep. We have a big dinner party tomorrow (for our standards) and there's a lot still to be done. I don't know I believed him when he said it wouldn't be a late night. I was originally supposed to go, but the babysitter cancelled on us.

OP posts:
user1481840227 · 04/12/2021 04:42

You're not answering the question?

Bogeyes · 04/12/2021 04:43

@Skinnymimi

Men… so annoying… let it go OP, only you will be sad. But I understand and feel for you.
What being a man got to do with it? Plenty of women lose handbags!
Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 04:47

I'm downstairs that's how I'm dealing with it, possibly to go upstairs and MAYBE apologize. I think some posters are missing the point that we wear our wedding outfits every now and then for special occasions that mean something to us. I wouldn't have given a toss if it had been some other jacket, but that one has special memories and not just the wedding!

OP posts:
Tlollj · 04/12/2021 04:49

I think you’re annoyed that he went out in the first place.

eurochick · 04/12/2021 04:51

He can do some ringing round later. It might turn up.

user1481840227 · 04/12/2021 04:51

@Terribleluck

I'm downstairs that's how I'm dealing with it, possibly to go upstairs and MAYBE apologize. I think some posters are missing the point that we wear our wedding outfits every now and then for special occasions that mean something to us. I wouldn't have given a toss if it had been some other jacket, but that one has special memories and not just the wedding!
Oh ok. So is it like the silent treatment and ignoring him?
converseandjeans · 04/12/2021 04:53

YABU he is responsible for getting home - you can't expect his work mates to sort him out!?

Why not wait and see if it turns up at one of the bars he went to.

It's just a jacket - and it wasn't on purpose.

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 04:57

He's completely passed out do how is this the silent treatment? It's not like we can have a conversation. I'm not pissed off he went out, but that he changed what we had agreed on. I was supposed to go and get him around 12, not try to figure out where he was at 3 in the morning.

OP posts: