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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off my husband lost his wedding jacket?

459 replies

Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 03:09

He went on his Christmas do and not only did he decide it was on to walk home 2 miles in not the best weather (I still can't believe his friends would let him do that) but he lost our wedding jacket, that does make very, very pissed off/sad.

OP posts:
Baconking · 04/12/2021 08:04

You were probably going to drive him back today to get his car anyway so shouldn't be too inconvenient to drive him back to the pub to look for his jacket/£500/car keys.

Name99 · 04/12/2021 08:06

What would have happened in 20 years if he hadn't lost the jacket, when it became dated and worn out?
Were you still planning in wearing the outfits, how would you have dealt with that?

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 08:06

No in that way it isn't much different, but I doubt he'll recover the brown envelope with his Christmas bonus. Hopefully I'm completely wrong.

OP posts:
Cas112 · 04/12/2021 08:07

@Terribleluck

Well it obviously doesn't help that we agreed he'd call me to pick him up, but never did. And he didn't answer his phone... But I'm really more annoyed with his friends about that. I'm not against him having a good time, but just either keep me posted or Kae sure you get home safely. I don't think I'm asking for anything too unreasonable.
He's a grown man, it's not his friends job to look after him he should look after himself

Stop blaming his friends it's weird

VaguelyInteresting · 04/12/2021 08:08

Oh dear OP... i think you’re getting overly hung up on the jacket. The memories aren’t really attached to the jacket, you know? They’re attached to and shared with your husband! The jacket didn’t hold your hand or share a dessert with you, or kiss you on the way home. Your husband did. Surely that’s what you have memories of - not of how the jacket looked hung on the back of a chair, or how the velvet piling looked brushed a certain way...

pictish · 04/12/2021 08:08

Oh and yes…you can’t believe his friends let him walk 2 miles home?
Dear God he’s not 10. It’s nothing to do with his friends and the distance is of no note at all.

Very melodramatic.

pictish · 04/12/2021 08:09

“Stop blaming his friends it’s weird.”

Yes. Stop it.

NorthLondonLovely · 04/12/2021 08:09

Hi OP, I seem to buck the trend here. I would also be really upset if my husband lost his wedding suit jacket. He doesn’t often wear it but it’s sentimental and he had our names and date stitched into the collar. Things don’t need to be a £ value to have personal value. I thought I’d lost a small item from our first meeting a few years back and my husband was a bit disappointed/ upset (luckily it turned up!).

I imagine your husband is also going to very upset with himself when he wakes as it sounds like you both cared. Hopefully he can ring round the pubs/ bars when he wakes and see if it’s been handed in.

The blaming his friends for him getting drunk/ not texting/ walking home is ridiculous. He is a grown man and should make his own decisions. I would be annoyed at regular situations where friends got blamed for his actions.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 04/12/2021 08:09

I understand your annoyance, Terribleluck, and I think you’re being very niceto him considering how foolish he’s been. Glad you got him back safely. I hope he stays awake during your dinner party!

maddy68 · 04/12/2021 08:10

He's definitely spent the bonus ...

icedcoffees · 04/12/2021 08:12

I suspect he's left the jacket (plus keys) in the pub and has spent the bonus.

nellyburt · 04/12/2021 08:13

Being so attached to a jacket I find very strange. How long have you been married?

Losing the keys and bonus is a different matter.

IslaInthesun · 04/12/2021 08:14

What are you serving for pudding?

Gearedtoyou · 04/12/2021 08:15

He hates the jacket, he spent the cash and his "irresponsible" friends took the keys away to stop him driving. Grin

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 08:20

The "blaming" the friends only comes from them knowing him when he's drunk. He's fallen off boats when drunk and got himself in fairly dangerous situations, so if I had a friend who behaves that way, I would make sure he makes it home safely.

OP posts:
Courtier · 04/12/2021 08:22

Nobody gives a shit OP. It's a jacket, not a child.

Itsallok · 04/12/2021 08:22

Cash bonuses? Presumably to avoid tax I assume? Interesting company. He's an idiot for losing everything but that's on him - and his problem to solve.
And your 16 year old should have babysat - you don't get to "not like it" part of being a family so I call brat status on your 16 year old. Time to sort that one out I think. Don't understand the sentimental jacket thing - it all sounds vastly twee but meh.

Findingthelight1 · 04/12/2021 08:23

Can't believe the melodrama at a short walk home in the rain. Two miles is a half hour walk, 40 mins tops for a grown man. I'd absolutely expect DH to walk it.

Itsallok · 04/12/2021 08:24

@Terribleluck

The "blaming" the friends only comes from them knowing him when he's drunk. He's fallen off boats when drunk and got himself in fairly dangerous situations, so if I had a friend who behaves that way, I would make sure he makes it home safely.
If I had a friend who as an adult drank to the point of that level of stupidity I'd be suggesting counselling not babysitting them
Courtier · 04/12/2021 08:24

Also you keep blaming his friends for 'getting him drunk', 'making him the clown' etc.

It's not their fault. Your fucking husband drank too much and got ratted. Not his friends. Your husband did it.

MattHancocksSexTape · 04/12/2021 08:26

@Terribleluck

I didn't know about the Christmas bonus before him, he told me... And yes he always gets in it cash. Usually after their appraisal, but not this time. Now it means we needs to either get into more debt or have to have a frugal season.
You were bragging that you tripled your income earlier?
middleeasternpromise · 04/12/2021 08:26

I'm wondering if you're really fed up with dealing with your husbands lack of responsibility? It sounds a bit like he doesn't learn and you appear to have developed a compensatory approach of stepping in to manage situations for him with the - how to get home plan - as is often the case, people who are irresponsible, don't tend to value what is being done for them and the helpers just get more frustrated and fed up. It might be better to find ways your husband can experience the consequences of his actions, not easy when you are in a partnership as losing a license, a bonus, the car keys affect everyone. I dont think I would be driving him round looking for a wedding jacket today - I think I might be saying since walking last night was a good enough idea when a lift was on offer, you can walk today and hunt down your jacket, your car keys and a bundle of cash. Maybe while you are out there you can figure out how you will recoup the cost of replacing all these items if you don't find them. I would get on with my dinner plans and look forward to an evening with hopefully more grown up adults who don't expect me to be their mother. Sorry you have had this experience.

icedcoffees · 04/12/2021 08:28

@Terribleluck

The "blaming" the friends only comes from them knowing him when he's drunk. He's fallen off boats when drunk and got himself in fairly dangerous situations, so if I had a friend who behaves that way, I would make sure he makes it home safely.
Maybe they don't want to babysit a grown man?
ComeAllYeFaithful · 04/12/2021 08:29

My husband has lost 4 wedding rings and counting.

Original poster
Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 08:29

@matt but I won't have my first paycheck till the end of January, and still losing money regardless is nothing to just brush off.

OP posts:
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