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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off my husband lost his wedding jacket?

459 replies

Terribleluck · 04/12/2021 03:09

He went on his Christmas do and not only did he decide it was on to walk home 2 miles in not the best weather (I still can't believe his friends would let him do that) but he lost our wedding jacket, that does make very, very pissed off/sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
Terribleluck · 05/12/2021 20:59

Thanks for the later replies, but as mentioned previously jacket has been found (with all its contents). We had another series of misfortunes yesterday (completely unrelated) and he managed to fall asleep at the dinner table just before our guests were leaving. According to him hello stop drinking at events/parties/reunions. Not that I think he'll manage to stay sober in those occasions but I'll give him the BOTD.

OP posts:
Loubelou14 · 05/12/2021 21:00

I can understand your upset OP. My ex would go out and get carried away. I never minded him going out but I'd be the one picking up the pieces and I'd feel as though his actions and thoughtlessness was a big F-you. I resented his total disregard for me and i blamed his friends. Now i see he's an adult and it was him who needed to grow up. It wasn't just the jacket it represents how little he cared about you at that time to have placed so little importance on it.

Wolfiefan · 05/12/2021 21:07

He sounds like he needs to stop drinking completely. If he is losing stuff and falling asleep at the table etc.

Thinkbiglittleone · 05/12/2021 21:37

Your DH obviously has a drinking problem if he gets himself into such states and situations. See he gets himself in these situations not his friends, stop enabling him to make excuses for his behaviour, it's all on him and his drink problem.( these things normally stop at about 20years old, if they are still happening it's a problem )

With the list of things he has done, I am a bit confused of how you seem so shocked and annoyed at a lost coat and a late return home.

Why was your 16 year old son awake at 3am when you went out to collect drunk DH?

Tee20x · 05/12/2021 21:42

Falling asleep at the table with guests is embarrassing and clearly shows he has an issue here. Far worse than the losing of the jacket.

JMR185 · 05/12/2021 21:43

I think he acted like a drunken moron and you have every right to be angry. You might treat him like a child but that's because he lacks maturity. Why would an adult allow themselves to be the brunt of 'friends' jokes and cause themselves such problems? The jacket is a side issue but I would want a chat about his reckless drinking and an assurance that it won't happen again. Have a drink, have fun but don't get legless.

Weareallvirgins · 05/12/2021 21:54

Walked 2 mile innot the best weather??? Hes a grown assed man. This is what men do via a chippy.

Bangolads · 05/12/2021 21:55

I can see why you’re annoyed but not why you’re annoyed enough to come to mumsnet. It’s your marriage, we don’t know you - does it really really matter? Honestly this isn’t what you’ll be thinking about on your deathbed.

Bangolads · 05/12/2021 21:56

@jmh740 I’m wondering if you possibly be a little more over the top and dramatic? Man went to Christmas party, got drunk walked gone rain and lost jacket. The conclusions you’ve drawn are ridiculous.

WomanStanleyWoman · 05/12/2021 22:09

Was the dinner party eventful, OP?

Clymene · 05/12/2021 22:09

Have you managed to save up for a laptop yet?

jmh740 · 05/12/2021 22:19

[quote Bangolads]@jmh740 I’m wondering if you possibly be a little more over the top and dramatic? Man went to Christmas party, got drunk walked gone rain and lost jacket. The conclusions you’ve drawn are ridiculous.[/quote]
What's ridiculous, he's had his driving licence removed for drink driving, his friends all think he's a clown when he's drunk

Susysue10 · 05/12/2021 22:36

Jesus, if that's all that you have to worry about!!! Join my world, then you just might have a reason to be pissed off and stressed about a husband!! My one (proceeding towards being my ex!!) Is up in court soon charged with assault to injury on me, has left me basically penniless and is wanting me to sell my house, bought by me solely and is demanding £100000!!!! A lost wedding jacket.... who gives a shit!!

Bertiebiscuit · 05/12/2021 22:53

You're focused on the wrong thing - he's obviously careless when he goes out drinking and makes bad dangerous decisions - I would be extremely worried about that not the jacket tbh - who knows what else he gets up to when he's out of control

CakelsLife · 05/12/2021 23:11

I have been in your position with my first husband. People on the outside can’t see the impact it has on you . He does whatever he wants with no thought or consideration for the impact it has on his family and you’re seen as the boring nag. Please address it now with him.

EmeraldShamrock · 06/12/2021 00:00

I'm glad the jacket and contents are recovered.
Your DH is an irresponsible man-child who shouldn't drink alcohol.
Do you treat him like a DC?

LalalalalalaLand123 · 06/12/2021 00:05

Ffs op get a grip. It's a jacket, sentimental yes but then if you are so upset about it possibly getting lost tell him not to wear it on drunken nights out. Glad it's been recovered. But you sound unbelievably controlling and lacking in compassion. If i go out and get drunk my oh is totally understanding, as am i if he does.

Feelf4you · 06/12/2021 00:39

Wow @ everyone's comments forget OPs!

Your husband needs help and you need a break! Understand your frustration your husband needs to get a grip and find some decent friends while at it (not referring to Xmas party as obviously that's a work do).
Understood your frustration and wanted to rant and you had reason to by the looks of it. Hopefully reflecting on this you have a good chat about him getting help..as by the looks of it he's still in family company and still managed to doze off but atleast his in the safety of his own home.
Goodluck with everything

mizzmelli123 · 06/12/2021 03:37

You are either a liar or his Mother.

Yehbut · 06/12/2021 05:00

My son lost some important things, to me at the time, once a really gorgeous jacket I had just bought him that he used as s goal post and forgot and once a watch that he left on a rocky island we had been driven by boat to and from for lunch, irretrievable. I was angry. His memory and reaction at the time was it was he that had lost them, he that was upset how could I be so uncaring to make it worse by being angry with him? And he was my son, not my husband.
Why don’t you think ‘O No really you must have been out of it. let’s hope it turns up’ ? Be equals, relate as adults. Let him punish himself for his behaviour and loss it’s not your job.

Downunderduchess · 06/12/2021 05:17

The jacket is the least of your problems. Sounds like you are married to a drinking problem. Anyone who loses their license because of drink driving I would consider irresponsible.

Cosyblankets · 06/12/2021 08:58

Lost licence through drink
Lost jacket through drink
Friends think he's a clown when drunk
Fell asleep at the table.... Drink by any chance?
Sounds like he needs help but you need to stop treating him like a child and either encourage him to get help or walk away

girlmom21 · 06/12/2021 11:06

@Terribleluck

Thanks for the later replies, but as mentioned previously jacket has been found (with all its contents). We had another series of misfortunes yesterday (completely unrelated) and he managed to fall asleep at the dinner table just before our guests were leaving. According to him hello stop drinking at events/parties/reunions. Not that I think he'll manage to stay sober in those occasions but I'll give him the BOTD.
He was drunk at the dinner table wasn't he?

Stop mothering him. It's time to grow up.

Menneedtoknowtoo · 06/12/2021 11:17

If you lost something of sentimental value, would you, would you prefer your partner to be understanding, or to be pissed off at you? Are the memories of your day happy ones? If so, then that is the most important thing. He feels bad about losing it, then don't make it worse.

percythewitch · 06/12/2021 11:23

He feels bad about losing it, then don't make it worse.

HE HASN'T LOST IT.
HE FOUND IT THE NEXT DAY - COMPLETE WITH CAR KEYS AND CASH.

Yes, I am shouting. 450 posts and nobody thinks that anything might have happened since the first post.