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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset by piano teacher comments

413 replies

FlibberdyGibbett · 02/12/2021 15:14

My 10 year old son ‘Josh’ has been having piano lessons for six weeks and I have received this text from his teacher.

“Josh seems to be struggling in his lessons. He complains his fingers are tired even after we have just started the lesson. This morning he told me he has been doing too much writing in class beforehand. He seems to talk a lot and doesn’t seem particularly interested. He tells me he practises on his iPad?? I’m not sure the piano is right for Josh, maybe consider a different instrument next term.”

AIBU to feel upset and my son is being unsupported?

OP posts:
SleighbellsZ · 02/12/2021 15:16

He doesn't sound interested though?

Original poster
FlibberdyGibbett · 02/12/2021 15:17

@SleighbellsZ

He doesn't sound interested though?
But it’s only been 6 weeks
OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 02/12/2021 15:18

Is this a reverse?

ofwarren · 02/12/2021 15:18

He definitely doesn't sound interested though. I don't know what you expect her to do? 🤷

MysteriousMonkey · 02/12/2021 15:18

I think she's trying to be kind and I say that as a mum who has spent thousands on piano lessons for my kids over the last few years. One of them I wish their piano teacher had said this, it's so expensive and if they don't want to practise it's such a waste of money!

Honeyroar · 02/12/2021 15:18

Have you seen him practicing and looking interested? At least the teacher recognises he doesn’t seem to like it rather than banging on taking your money.

DeepaBeesKit · 02/12/2021 15:19

I would expect a 10 year old to try a bit harder tbh.

What do you expect her to do? It doesnt sound like his behaviour is great in lessons if he is complaining/making excuses all the time.

SleighbellsZ · 02/12/2021 15:21

But it’s only been 6 weeks

6 weeks is long enough to know you don't enjoy something.

eddiemairswife · 02/12/2021 15:22

Who wanted him to learn? You or your son?

PleasantBirthday · 02/12/2021 15:23

Has he ever expressed any interest to you or are you hoping that he'll become interested given time?

Original poster
FlibberdyGibbett · 02/12/2021 15:23

He wanted to learn and we are in the process of buying a second hand keyboard so he can practise, I just think the comments are a little harsh and abrupt - I think a phone call would have been kinder

OP posts:
PleasantBirthday · 02/12/2021 15:24

@FlibberdyGibbett

He wanted to learn and we are in the process of buying a second hand keyboard so he can practise, I just think the comments are a little harsh and abrupt - I think a phone call would have been kinder
I think I'd hold off on that until you have a very serious discussion with him.
viques · 02/12/2021 15:24

Do you have a piano at home OP, or a keyboard? Does he practise? Doyou supervise the practise? If not what is the point of him doing the lessons in the first place. Find him another instrument he prefers, or give up on your “ my son josh the musician “ dream.

Username7521 · 02/12/2021 15:24

As someone who plays piano take the teachers advice and sit down and chat to him to see if he is really interested. It’s a hard old slog, and I still remember one of my first piano teachers advice saying you need to particle 15 min 5 times a week just to keep the basics.
He’s 10. It’s been 6 weeks. Not sure what more you’re expecting from the teacher.

ShinyHappyPoster · 02/12/2021 15:25

The teacher seems to be supporting him. Are you supporting him? Because surely you know if he moans about his fingers being sore, tries to distract during lessons and doesn't really practice.

NatriumChloride · 02/12/2021 15:25

He practices on his iPad?

He’s ten. The teacher has given it a go for 6 weeks but realistically, how interested can Josh be if he complains that his fingers are hurting straight into the lesson?

Original poster
FlibberdyGibbett · 02/12/2021 15:25

Also she’s just billed me to pay for December lessons, but he missed 2 earlier in the month due to having Covid and she’s basically said she doesn’t carry missed lessons over?!

OP posts:
Duchess379 · 02/12/2021 15:25

Are you like this at parents meetings as well? Your son clearly isn't interested. 🤷🏼‍♀️

viques · 02/12/2021 15:26

Oh sorry, I see you are “in the process” of buying a second hand keyboard six weeks after he started the lessons!

PleasantBirthday · 02/12/2021 15:27

@FlibberdyGibbett

Also she’s just billed me to pay for December lessons, but he missed 2 earlier in the month due to having Covid and she’s basically said she doesn’t carry missed lessons over?!
Of course he doesn't! Why would you think that he would? You booked her time, she made it available, you didn't use it but she couldn't get another child in. Why should she be out of pocket?
SleighbellsZ · 02/12/2021 15:28

@FlibberdyGibbett

Also she’s just billed me to pay for December lessons, but he missed 2 earlier in the month due to having Covid and she’s basically said she doesn’t carry missed lessons over?!
Sounds normal.
DeepaBeesKit · 02/12/2021 15:29

Also she’s just billed me to pay for December lessons, but he missed 2 earlier in the month due to having Covid and she’s basically said she doesn’t carry missed lessons over?!

This is standard? She would constantly lose income otherwise.

10 is quite old to begin learning a musical instrument. If he really wants to progress he will need to be willing to work at it, being attentive in lessons and motivated to practice regularly.

CSJobseeker · 02/12/2021 15:29

@FlibberdyGibbett

He wanted to learn and we are in the process of buying a second hand keyboard so he can practise, I just think the comments are a little harsh and abrupt - I think a phone call would have been kinder
Why does she need to be 'kind' to you?

She's given you her opinion (and the reasons for it), and she wasn't rude about it.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 02/12/2021 15:29

Lessons are a waste of time if he doesn't (or can't) practice. I am taking music lessons as an adult and my teacher is quite open that without time, commitment and passion it's a waste of everyone's time.

FoxIvy · 02/12/2021 15:29

I think she worded it quite nicely. If you think that's 'harsh and abrupt' you presumably have come up against very little actual confrontation in your life!