Sil charging for one off babysitting

[Dalalalada]

I feel quite angry about this and i probably shouldnt.

I habe never asked her to babysit and tonight the sitter pulled out at the last min, and we are going out for my birthday tonight tickets are bought and paid for.

I was panicking trying to find somone else on the sitter site and dp called sil who will be at home cause her partner is out.

She said she would need payment!

For some reason its really rubbed me up thr wrong way!

Aibu?

Awful.

Oh wow that'd annoy me too. I have babysat many times for family and would never have charged! Do they have kids?
I'd rather pay an actual babysitter than a family member. CF!

Unless she's a teenager and has a little baby sitting "business" she's ridiculous.

My guess is that she has fears of being taken advantage of because she's family, and in a way I don't blame her. Some people can really take the piss when it comes to expecting free childcare.

How old is she?
I would ask someone else. That's well cheeky, especially as she's not doing anything

I’d be annoyed too, if she’s available then she should just do it, does she have form for being grabby?

It’s your DP’s sister, so her nieces/nephews she’s being asked to look after?

@DrManhattan

How old is she? I would ask someone else. That's well cheeky, especially as she's not doing anything

Who said she's not doing anything?

Depends if she is 16 or not. If she's an adult then totally unreasonable, if she's a teen, maybe slightly misguided.

If they ever call you in an emergency like a car breakdown, you will relish being able to tell them your charge!

Maybe she needs the money, to be fair I assume you were going to pay the sitter who cancelled and she is doing you a favour.
Saying this I would never charge for babysitting my nibblings

That's well cheeky, especially as she's not doing anything

Just because a woman is home alone doesn't mean she isn't doing anything.

As a childcare professional I often have people trying taking the piss when it comes to childcare. So now everybody gets charged

I’d be annoyed too, if she’s available then she should just do it, does she have form for being grabby

How is she grabby?

Wanting free babysitting is pretty grabby if we are analysing grabbiness.

She has form for cf.
She is 29.
She had no previous plans tonight.
Ive never ever asked her ti babysit before the children mid primary aged.

I am hurt tbh! I do loads for her 😞

Yes, it's a bit odd. Most families do that as favours for each other
But you need the help, you had money allocated for a sitter. You get to go out, your children get taken care of and you aren't actually out any additional money so I'd just go with it.

I’m not sure tbh. You were going to be paying the babysitter so I don’t see why it’s a problem to pay the SIL for doing exactly the same job.

I think it's unlikely you have the nuances of the conversation from DH. Did he for example , tell her that the paid babysitter had dropped out and lead her to expect payment?

Of course she shouldn't expect it but if DH led her to it...?

Stop doing loads for her. Or charge her eg petrol money for lifts

I'm petty like that though. Fuck being the bigger person.

Of course i would habe done somehting nice like vouchers

Tbf when my mum had my kids she use to say I was suppose to pay her for having them. Wasn’t regular but she still said I was suppose to give her money for it 🤷‍♀️

Yeh I'd rather pay someone else

@Dalalalada

She has form for cf. She is 29. She had no previous plans tonight. Ive never ever asked her ti babysit before the children mid primary aged.

I am hurt tbh! I do loads for her 😞

Pay her, next time she wants a favour charge her.

Then you won’t be doing loads for her any more !

Pay her. And in future maybe do less for her.

Last minute she's had it sprung on her as you need the help in an emergency, and it's a service you'd normally expect to be paying for (hence you were on a sitters site) so I wouldn't be rubbed up the wrong way! She's helping you out very last minute in a tough situation - it doesn't matter whether she has plans or not. It's not doing nothing, it's looking after your children / child. If I was in your shoes, I'd have offered her money.

I can see your SIL's point of view tbh.

You see threads on here - people being asked to baby sit regularly for family and feeling taken advantage of because they did it 3yrs ago as a one off.

She probably doesn't want to risk becoming the default baby sitter.