Sil charging for one off babysitting

[Dalalalada]

I feel quite angry about this and i probably shouldnt.

I habe never asked her to babysit and tonight the sitter pulled out at the last min, and we are going out for my birthday tonight tickets are bought and paid for.

I was panicking trying to find somone else on the sitter site and dp called sil who will be at home cause her partner is out.

She said she would need payment!

For some reason its really rubbed me up thr wrong way!

Aibu?

[Bluelillies]

I remember being a single mum on benefits years ago
The kids where in bed one night,the shop was a 2 minute walk away
I checked the fridge and found I’d ran out of milk for breakfast in the morning
My sister in law was sat on my sofa,enjoying a cuppa and eating my snacks so I asked if she’d mind sitting with the kids for 5 minutes while I ran to the shop
‘No problem-I’ll spend the tenner you’ll owe me on chocolate for your brother’
Er,ten whole English pounds for 5 minutes of babysitting?
I don’t think so-I chinned her off and the kids had toast in the morning

They’ve got a kid of their own now and can’t understand why nobody wants to do favours for them for free

[UsernameA1B2]

Next time she asks for a favour tell her you expect payment.

[Quackpot]

If she's a childcare professional I can understand why she wants paying, and I would pay. But I would not pay a childminders rate to someone unqualified and inexperienced, to look after my children. I would however leave money for a takeaway or whatever, and an IOU for a similar favour. She is giving up her time to an extent, but a childcare practitioner would be doing actual activities with the children, an aunt is likely to pop them in front of the TV with snacks or leave them play with toys while she gets on with her evening.

[ByeByeNye]

@GiveMeYourDog

YABVU!!

Your kids, your problem.
I hate when people try and make their kids other people’s problem. So rude!!

There are some weird and petty people on this thread.

Leave the poor SIL alone.

Never ever ever in a million years have my nieces and nephew been a "problem" for me! I love them dearly and love spending time with them. I will babysit anytime I was available and needed. And what's more, I won't charge my own family

You seem like quite a bitter person if I'm honest 🤷‍♀️

OP you're absolutely not wrong. Your SIL should be delighted to have some quality time with her nieces/nephews! You don't charge family for small things like this, ever.

[JugglingJanuary]

OLD THREAD.

Not a Zombie, but OLD.

[Mix56]

This would royal piss me off. I think I would have said, "Are you joking ? what about when I "insert generous help previously" offered for free" ?
As you now have told her you've found someone, to shove it , I'd simply remind her that there was no obligation, & now, you will feel free to either require payment next time she needs a loan/lift/help/whatever.... or just refuse
Fuck that shit

[Skeumorph]

Oh dear foolish SIL!

Showed her selfish hand and now the gravy train has pulled out of the station 🙂

What did your DH say about it? Because presumably he knows that you/both of you have helped her out many times - I’d have expected HIS response to his own sister to have been a pretty annoyed reminder of that! If not, I suggest that you remark to him that you feel a bit daft, you had no idea that this was how it was supposed to work in families, silly you having given all those lifts/pet sitting/blah blah for free, would he be a dear and tell his sis that you’re sorry you weren’t more organised in asking for things to be on a more official footing but jo worries, you certainly will from now on 😄

[theleafandnotthetree]

@rainrainraincamedowndowndown

You were meant to pay the baby sitter anyway, she doesn't want to do it for free. So ask her to do it and pay her, or find someone else?
I don't think it's unreasonable for her to want some compensation, if she was planning stress free evening on her own.

This kind of thinking is so far outside my frame of reference I literally don't know what to say....as a wider society we are truly fucked if it's ok for even close family relationships to be this transactional. I would babysit in these circumstances for a neighbour or not very close friend, let alone a sibling. And I don't suffer fools gladly or particularly like children!

[godmum56]

@Tee20x

Payment to look after her niece/nephew on a one off occasion.....

You would think she would enjoy spending some quality time with them for a couple of hours.

Weirdo behaviour.

newsflash.....not everybody thinks your kids are adorable

[littlefireseverywhere]

Maybe she doesn't want to? However, it does mean you might need to think about the amount you do for her?

[Jumpalicious]

She will sooooo regret this if/when she has kids of her own… ooops.

[UserBot989]

all the posters saying she has to make sure she's not taken advantage of, it's the first time she was ever asked. She knew it was her SIL's birthday too!

In her shoes (if she does fear being taken advantage of) I'd have done it with a smile and a plan to be busy the next time I was asked.

If the dc are primary school age and she's never once babysat I'd say that's unusual.

[Spidey66]

@joopy79

Maybe she needs the money, to be fair I assume you were going to pay the sitter who cancelled and she is doing you a favour.
Saying this I would never charge for babysitting my nibblings

Are nibblings snacks you leave out for the babysitter?

[NAME3CHANGE]

Im wondering if there is more too it.

Ie she has no petrol in the car so needs a bit to get there.

Or , has it been said in jest to your hubby and hes relayed it wrong ?
I often tell my nephews mum ill be sending her the bill after i have had him for the day ect xx

[Mariposista]

Not normal. She shouldn’t be asking for payment (yet I would have given her a little present after)

[LadyPenelope68]

I would ask someone else. That's well cheeky, especially as she's not doing anything

Just because she wasn’t doing something, doesn’t mean she should babysit, she might just have been wanting some peace and quiet. You’d have been paying the babysitter anyway, so what does it matter. Sounds like you’re making more of an issue if it than it was.

[Lovemusic33]

A part of me thinks CF but another part of me thinks ‘well you were going to pay the original baby sitter?’, it is last minute so I would have offered to pay her anyway.

[ImALittlePea]

One of my SIL has expected payment for babysitting before. We also had to go and collect her (30 mins away) etc. No-one else in the family charge (obviously) so we very quickly stopped asking her. Awful thing to do.

[IWentAwayIStayedAway]

Zombie thread. Why @PJama ????

[Pencilandpaper]

This happened in November - I’m thinking it’s sorted

[Gilly12345]

Pay her as you are out of options and don’t do her favours in the future.

[wtaf37]

@DrManhattan

How old is she?
I would ask someone else. That's well cheeky, especially as she's not doing anything

So, if one of your DCs had some free time, you would suggest that they get themselves down the family jam butty mine for a couple of hours free graft 'cos it's family and we should all work for free'

[timeisnotaline]

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry

I’m not sure tbh. You were going to be paying the babysitter so I don’t see why it’s a problem to pay the SIL for doing exactly the same job.

The babysitter probably doesn’t get the op providing her with support and favours as one does for family. Or as one did in the ops case. I can see a lot of ‘sorry that won’t be convenient’ in the future!