Sil charging for one off babysitting

[Dalalalada]

I feel quite angry about this and i probably shouldnt.

I habe never asked her to babysit and tonight the sitter pulled out at the last min, and we are going out for my birthday tonight tickets are bought and paid for.

I was panicking trying to find somone else on the sitter site and dp called sil who will be at home cause her partner is out.

She said she would need payment!

For some reason its really rubbed me up thr wrong way!

Aibu?

[BurntO]

It is dickish. Asking for payment to spend a couple of hours with your nieces or nephews? Who does that? She should have just said no, it wouldn’t taste so bad.

[NoodlesPoodles]

I find it astounding how many people think you should pay your SIL to babysit for you. You're asking for a last minute favour from a family member who you have also done favours for.

Next time she asks for a favour then you either refuse or you charge her. Maybe then it will bring home how crap it was for her to charge a family member for a favour.

[Chloemol]

Glad you found someone

Now when sil what’s you to do something just tell her you want paying

[rainrainraincamedowndowndown]

You were meant to pay the baby sitter anyway, she doesn't want to do it for free. So ask her to do it and pay her, or find someone else?
I don't think it's unreasonable for her to want some compensation, if she was planning stress free evening on her own.

[Carriemac]

I minded my nieces for two weeks whil brother and SIL went to Oz to a wedding- maybe I should have charged them I'd have made a fortune !

Yanbu OP your SIL is being very mean. Next time she asks you to do something for her say ' I was very hurt you wanted to charge me for babysitting so I don't want to do this for you'

[nimbuscloud]

Today is the day you decide to stop doing ‘loads’ for her

[TravellingWanabee]

@Aquamarine1029

My guess is that she has fears of being taken advantage of because she's family, and in a way I don't blame her. Some people can really take the piss when it comes to expecting free childcare.

In which case, all she needs to do is say "no, I'm sorry I'm not free".

No need for her to feel like she's being taken advantage of, because at 29, she's more than capable of just saying no. I don't think OP asking as a favour as a one off is that awful.

If she was a registered childminder and had people asking all the time for "favours", she would absolutely be entitled to be annoyed.

[GiveMeYourDog]

YABVU!!

Your kids, your problem.
I hate when people try and make their kids other people’s problem. So rude!!

There are some weird and petty people on this thread.

Leave the poor SIL alone.

[HangingOver]

Completely weird behaviour. What normal person wouldn't be happy to look after the DC so you can have your birthday treat.

[LovePoppy]

@LawnFever

I’d be annoyed too, if she’s available then she should just do it, does she have form for being grabby?

It’s your DP’s sister, so her nieces/nephews she’s being asked to look after?

Why should she just do it?

Is her time not worth anything?

[Leeds2]

What does DH think to his sister's request?

I'm glad you have found an alternative, but I wouldn't be helping her again in the future without agreeing a fee first.

[pigsDOfly]

I looked after my 3 grandchildren for a week when my daughter was in hospital having her baby.

Didn't even get a box of chocolates or bunch of flowers as a thank you.

Should I have charged her and her husband for a weeks worth of childcare, especially as it was during school holidays as well?

It would seem from some of the replies on here that I should have done. Really strange attitude.

Glad you've found someone else OP.

[HappyDays40]

Its unfair assumectgat she has nothong bettercto do even if she was just having a night in. That said I don't charge family and friends for looking after their children occasionally.

[Phobiaphobic]

You sil is insane. No one under 16 asks for payment from a family member for a one-off favour. I'd be bloody pissed off too.

[Frazzled50yrold]

She's setting boundaries and presumably was able to safely babysit your children allowing you to celebrate without worrying about an unknown baby sitter. You now know the rules and she knows she wasn't taken advantage of.

[WaterAndRichTea]

I would never charge for my nieces and nephews

But i expect atleast snacks and if i dont drive or my partner cant take me, them i expect to be picked up / dropped off by one of them or a taxi

I dont want to be standing around on a cold Saturday waiting for public transport

[LolaSmiles]

She's setting boundaries and presumably was able to safely babysit your children allowing you to celebrate without worrying about an unknown baby sitter. You now know the rules and she knows she wasn't taken advantage of.
It's not taking advantage to ask a relative to babysit.

But if cheeky fucker SIL is big on 'setting boundaries' now, it would be a good moment for OP and her DH to set their own boundaries and say no every time SIL comes running for favours, or tell they they'll only help her if she pays them.

I'm willing to bet that SIL will become a drama llama when other people turn down her requests though because that's what the takers of this world are like.

[drpet49]

@GiveMeYourDog you must be the SIL.

I find it astounding how many people think you should pay your SIL to babysit for you. You're asking for a last minute favour from a family member who you have also done favours for.

Next time she asks for a favour then you either refuse or you charge her. Maybe then it will bring home how crap it was for her to charge a family member for a favour.

^This. She has a nerve asking you for payment when you have done her loads of favours.

[user1477391263]

If I'd done favors for her in the past, I think I'd expect free babysitting as a single one-off in years!

I would pay graciously, but make a mental note not to give any more free favors.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@IncompleteSenten

Stop doing loads for her. Or charge her eg petrol money for lifts

I'm petty like that though. Fuck being the bigger person.

I was going to ay the same.

The next time she wants something, you want paying for it.

Two can play at that game.

[diamondpony80]

That's pretty cheeky alright. I rarely ask my SIL to do stuff like that (she doesn't ask me either) as we don't live that close to each other. But when we do need each other for something like that we'd do it for each other in a heartbeat, no questions asked, and no payment asked for!

If that's the kind of relationship she wants, maybe you should ask her for money too next time she wants you to do something for her!

[BungleandGeorge]

Potentially she just doesn’t want to. How would you have felt if she’d said no?

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@Dalalalada

Ive found someone on the sitter website so all good anyway!
Just feel a bit weirded out tbh

Just remember this the next time she wants something.

Nothing for nothing from now on.

[JetRocket]

STOP DOING ANYTHING FOR HER
Seriously people like your SIL only learn their behaviour is selfish and unacceptable when it backfired on them!

[toomuchlaundry]

What sort of things do you do for her?