Sil charging for one off babysitting

[Dalalalada]

I feel quite angry about this and i probably shouldnt.

I habe never asked her to babysit and tonight the sitter pulled out at the last min, and we are going out for my birthday tonight tickets are bought and paid for.

I was panicking trying to find somone else on the sitter site and dp called sil who will be at home cause her partner is out.

She said she would need payment!

For some reason its really rubbed me up thr wrong way!

Aibu?

[Whinge]

@Dalalalada

She has form for cf.
She is 29.
She had no previous plans tonight.
Ive never ever asked her ti babysit before the children mid primary aged.

I am hurt tbh! I do loads for her 😞

We don't know the history, but I think her previous behviour is making you think worse of her than you should.

In this situation you've asked her at the last minute, and were going to be paying for the sitter anyway, so it would have been a nice gesture to offer something as a thank you for helping you out of a tricky spot.

[Tee20x]

Payment to look after her niece/nephew on a one off occasion.....

You would think she would enjoy spending some quality time with them for a couple of hours.

Weirdo behaviour.

[Dalalalada]

I dont mind offering and insisting. Its being asked thati i object to!

[Dalalalada]

Ive found someone on the sitter website so all good anyway!
Just feel a bit weirded out tbh

[Cherrytart23]

@DrManhattan

How old is she?
I would ask someone else. That's well cheeky, especially as she's not doing anything

So because she's doing nothing she should be expected to babysit?

Maybe she has said this to put you off asking her again.

[Whinge]

@Dalalalada

I dont mind offering and insisting. Its being asked thati i object to!

Perhaps DH didn't offer, so she asked. 🤷‍♀️

[DaisyandSimeon]

I must be owed thousands!

[RecentYears]

Are you sure you asked. I find DH's will tell you what they think will get them into least trouble

Why have you never asked before? That seems odd in itself TBH if you have a capable relative living nearby.

[Cherrytart23]

Your paying someone on a sitter site so why not pay sil atleast she knows dc.

[RecentYears]

Doh, are you sure she asked?

[ZenNudist]

I'd get DH to talk to his brother. Family usually help each other out. Paying family wouldn't sit right with me. You are in a fix so you will have to pay. How about messaging school mums or football group and saying does anyone know a babysitter will pay. See if you can get replacement.

Do they have or want dc of their own? They are setting a shitty precedent!

[GrandmasCat]

Ok, you pay her and enjoy your night out.

Next time she asks a favour you ask her for a contribution/payment or say no altogether.

[HoseMeDownWithHolyWater]

My brother is lucky I never charged him for babysitting. He'd be bankrupt if I had 🤣

[NovemberNovemberDarkNights]

@Dalalalada

Completely agree with you, you're FAMILY, you do loads for her. Your kids are mid primary age and you haven't asked before. She's 29, not 15. She's also an ungrateful wench. I'd definitely stop doing anything for her, let her sort her own shit out!

[NovemberNovemberDarkNights]

Ps. Glad you found someone on sitters & can tell her to shove it it's not neeeded!

[NovemberNovemberDarkNights]

Pps 🍰 happy birthday 🥳 I hope you have a great night out!! 🥂🍾

[LolaSmiles]

She's being weird and cheeky. Family help each other out without demanding payment.

Now she's shown you that she is all take and unwilling to help family, it's a good time to scale back any help you would ordinarily have done for her.

I can't stand people who are all take. It's so rude.

[HoardingSamphireSaurus]

Well. That rewrote your family dynamic!

Don't let it sour your night out!

[Flyingsunflower]

Why would you begrudge sil money you had already planned to pay the babysitter?

I would ask my sister or brother for payment as a joke(I would never accept when offered they know this) but would never ask Bil or Sil if they asked me to babysit.

[Mary46]

Do people not help their family?! Op maybe dont do as much for her again. I babysit for sister she did for me over the years

[musicviking1]

I wouldn't forget, the next time she wants/needs/asks for something, I'd pull this moment out of the bag to remind her.

[JacquelineCarlyle]

@musicviking1

I wouldn't forget, the next time she wants/needs/asks for something, I'd pull this moment out of the bag to remind her.

This!

[SirChenjins]

That’s definitely cf behaviour. If you don’t want to babysit for a family member you act like a grown up and say no, sorry, I can’t - you don’t ask for money.

[Chely]

I wouldn't charge to look after family.

If you're stuck for care then pay her and don't go out of your way to help her in future.

[EmeraldShamrock]

Yanbu.
As a one off she is tight.