Sil charging for one off babysitting

[Dalalalada]

I feel quite angry about this and i probably shouldnt.

I habe never asked her to babysit and tonight the sitter pulled out at the last min, and we are going out for my birthday tonight tickets are bought and paid for.

I was panicking trying to find somone else on the sitter site and dp called sil who will be at home cause her partner is out.

She said she would need payment!

For some reason its really rubbed me up thr wrong way!

Aibu?

[Gonnagetgoing]

@Muselyforbreakfast

I can’t get past you choosing to ask a stranger from an agency to look after your kids rather than their aunt, because she wants paying too. Yes she’s cheeky but I would never have left my kids with someone they don’t know unless it was an emergency.

@Muselyforbreakfast - OP says the sitter pulled out and she’s was panicking trying to find someone else from the same sitting site so yes OP was using a stranger (unless it was a regular sitter from the sitter site) anyway.

It depends for me on a few things, how many children and how old, are they ok being babysat etc?

I do think it’s a bit mean of the sister to say no but maybe sister thinks because of the fact that it’s the OP’s birthday and also that it’s last minute sister is maybe thinking OP expects this for free and it’s a bit cheeky? Also depends how much and what OP does for the sister.

[hibbledibble]

Yanbu

You say this is a family member you do lots for. Give and take is expected.

I would take note and stop doing them favours.

I have had similar from a family member, who refused to do a small favour despite being happy to receive many. It's cheekiness of the highest order.

[BudrosBudrosGalli]

OP, you sound very entitled. Maybe you have form for expecting things of others.

[SirChenjins]

What rubbish.

[Soupseason]

Sounds like she didn't really want to do it which is fair enough she's not obliged to. She's set out her stall , everyone knows where they stand. Fair dos to her for being upfront. I do find it odd that you'd rather pay a stranger than pay a trusted family member. Happy Birthday 🍻

[Maskless]

What a mean cow!

On your birthday, too!

Never forget this, and if she ever wants anything, get your revenge!

[DrManhattan]

@BudrosBudrosGalli
Eh? Asking a family member to watch the kids, how is that 'entitled' ? She's not asked for a kidney

[LovePoppy]

@Maskless

What a mean cow!

On your birthday, too!

Never forget this, and if she ever wants anything, get your revenge!

Revenge and spite are definitely the building blocks of a life well lived

[1FootInTheRave]

I would do absolutely fuck all for her ever again tbh.

[catgirl1976]

You don’t charge to look after your own nephews and nieces. YANBU. She’s odd and grabby

[pigsDOfly]

@catgirl1976

You don’t charge to look after your own nephews and nieces. YANBU. She’s odd and grabby

I agree it's odd, but from the responses on here it would appear that a great many people would expect to be paid to look after a family member's children.

Wouldn't occur to me to ask for money from family.

[WomanStanleyWoman]

You asked her to give up her evening at short notice. She asked to be compensated. I can’t see the problem. Even if she ‘wasn’t doing anything’, so what? Maybe a night doing nothing was exactly what she wanted. Now instead she’s looking after your kids.

[pigsDOfly]

@WomanStanleyWoman

You asked her to give up her evening at short notice. She asked to be compensated. I can’t see the problem. Even if she ‘wasn’t doing anything’, so what? Maybe a night doing nothing was exactly what she wanted. Now instead she’s looking after your kids.

If she didn't want to give up her evening it's very easy to say no.

Clearly, if she was willing to give up her evening on condition she got paid for it a free evening doing nothing wasn't that important to her.

Anyway, she isn't looking after OP's children so it's no longer her problem.

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Clearly, if she was willing to give up her evening on condition she got paid for it a free evening doing nothing wasn't that important to her.

Do you understand the principle of compensation? She might well have wanted the evening to herself, but was prepared to forgo that if she was getting paid. She wasn’t prepared to forgo that for nothing.

[ikeptgoing]

@Dalalalada
Since you go loads for SIL and she's 29 and has form for being a CF, start charging her when she asks for a favour if it's relevant or don't go out if your way to do it. "That lift into town? Taxi fare is £10 please..."
That's the way to deal with CFs who charge for the rare favours for you but expect favours all the time.
"Well I would try to squeeze it in my busy day but one of the few times we've ever asked for a reciprocal favour of you , you said you'd charge, so I don't feel like doing lots of free favours and running around for you..."

[pigsDOfly]

Of course I understand the principle compensation but if I had planned a free evening to myself and the evening was important to me no amount of money would make me changed my plans.

I can't imagine there was a great deal of money involved as payment for an evening's babysitting so it's not as if she would have been massively compensated.

[pigsDOfly]

My reply was to WomanStanleyWoman

[Mammma91]

Oh wow. I have 5 siblings, 13 nieces and nephews and have babysat each and every single one of them multiple times and they have babysat for me too.
Never ever expected any payment. Although my dsis often sends ‘survival after bedtime snacks’ for me when they’re all asleep 😂.
Often i take them out, more often than not the ice cream van shows up too. Its a bit of give and take surely?!

[Mammma91]

Oops, my dsis doesn’t have 13 kids! She has 2. I just re-read the way it was written. But i have baby sat for all my siblings equally. Many times last min too.

[PugInTheHouse]

I would never dream of charging family for babysitting. I would offer if it was a teenage family member or buy them a takeaway or something. Even close friends shouldn't charge each other IMO unless its a regular agreement as a child minding type thing. Even then personally I wouldn't.

[LolaSmiles]

I agree it's odd, but from the responses on here it would appear that a great many people would expect to be paid to look after a family member's children
It certainly explains a lot of the AIBU threads where I wonder whether some of the cheeky fuckery and bizarre family dynamics are for real.

I can't believe people think family members asking favours from each other is entitled and it's fine to charge family for favours.

[DemBonesDemBones]

I am a babysitter. That's my job. I wouldn't dream of charging to sit for my nieces and nephews. My Sister tries to pay me every time but mostly I manage to outrun her before she can force payment on me

[user1493375230]

My SIL (brothers gf) once asked me if I would mind their house whilst they went on holidays for 1 week. I said yes. She then txt and said I would have to pay them £50.00 for Gas & Electricity.
I told them to find someone else to watch their house 🤣 The Cheek!

[pollymere]

It depends on her age. I'd have paid my SIL as she is much younger than DH but possibly not now. If you would've been paying a babysitter then what's the difference?

[Abitlost2]

That's awful op. Is she very young? It's so cringey tbh. My family never babysit, it's so odd really but can never ask so have given up. So strange for family to expect payment. I wouldn't accept her bbsitting.