Sil charging for one off babysitting

[Dalalalada]

I feel quite angry about this and i probably shouldnt.

I habe never asked her to babysit and tonight the sitter pulled out at the last min, and we are going out for my birthday tonight tickets are bought and paid for.

I was panicking trying to find somone else on the sitter site and dp called sil who will be at home cause her partner is out.

She said she would need payment!

For some reason its really rubbed me up thr wrong way!

Aibu?

Yanbu

I dont really understand the 'maybe she is worried this will become a frequent thing' posts. Your children are mid primary, this is a genuine unexpected one off, and presumably she knows you and you arent a CF who asks to borrow stuff and never gives it back etc.
I think I'd be doing less favours for her in the future.
Isn't that what families do, help each other out?

My mum used to expect me to pay her for babysitting the occasional night, yet would give my sister free childcare whilst she worked. One of the many reasons I am non contact with my mother...

Jesus if I was to ask my brothers to pay me everytime I had there kids I would be able to retire 😂😂😂😂, she definitely not family oriented to help out if that's the stunt she pulls.

@Cherrytart23

Your paying someone on a sitter site so why not pay sil atleast she knows dc.

This I'd rather pay SIL than pay someone I'd found on a site

It wouldn’t bother me and I would have given her the same money as the babysitter would have cost. I would just be grateful I could still have my Saturday night out and haven’t wasted the ticket money.
Do less for her in the future or ask for payment.

@Dalalalada

Glad to hear you got a sitter ! Enjoy your night out !

(But I also wouldn't forget that she asked for bloody payment for a family 'favour' either . I'd be a lot less 'obliging' to her in the future ! )

This depends on a lot of context. You do things for her all the time? Has she ever babysat before? Are you usually close with her? If you're always helping her out then she's in the wrong. If she's babysat many times maybe she felt like you asking again was cheeky. If you're not particularly close with her maybe she felt you're using her.

I used to babysit for my niece every Saturday night so that my sister and her husband could have a relaxing weekend drink. I never got thanked. I was insulted by her husband who acted like the baby wasn't "safe" because of the area I live in, even though she had been coming to mine for years at that point. And if I wanted them to drop her off a couple of hours later than usual they would text and demand and SPY to check if I was lying! In the end they had a second baby and I had to stop doing it.

I am hurt tbh! I do loads for her

So stop. It's the only thing that will make a CF think.

Just because she wasn't planning to go out doesn't mean she wasn't planning to do something else with her time. You were willing to pay someone else to do it, so why would you not offer her something too?

That's horrible, I wouldn't be doing any favours for her ever again.

I am hurt tbh! I do loads for her

Well, she’s shot herself in the foot. I would do fuck all for her too from now on.

Reminds me of SIL. I was going back to work and planning on putting DC in pricey nursery. She said "I'll have them instead". Then told me I would have to pay her.

Turns out she'd found out how much the nursery were charging and thought she could undercut them and make some easy cash off me. Aah families.

That’s really tight. I’ve been on the bones of my arse and not accepted anything for babysitting or doing anything else to help family or friends out. Is she always so grabby?

Yanbu. I’ve never charged for baby-sitting. She sounds a real miser.

@TurnUpTurnip

Tbf when my mum had my kids she use to say I was suppose to pay her for having them. Wasn’t regular but she still said I was suppose to give her money for it 🤷‍♀️

Blimey, I'd be rolling in it if I charged for baby sitting/child care. Supposed to? How strange.

Charge her for the next favour you do for her

It does seem mean if you do stuff for her for nothing.

Well, I suppose she has her terms & you have yours.

So you can happily never do anything for her again!

Will you do any favours for her? Have you let her know shes not needed?

@Dalalalada

She has form for cf. She is 29. She had no previous plans tonight. Ive never ever asked her ti babysit before the children mid primary aged.

I am hurt tbh! I do loads for her 😞

Tell your DH that won't be doing any more for her going ahead.

@Dalalalada

She has form for cf. She is 29. She had no previous plans tonight. Ive never ever asked her ti babysit before the children mid primary aged.

I am hurt tbh! I do loads for her 😞

I would have paid her but stopped doing loads for her; better still, charge her.

Her grabbiness has probably saved you some money.

Yanbu!

@Dalalalada

Ive found someone on the sitter website so all good anyway! Just feel a bit weirded out tbh

With good reason!!! I’d feel disinclined to do any future favours/give her anything …

"I do loads for her"
I'd be rethinking that or asking for payment.

Good you’ve found someone. Now time to pull back from the favours. Your Sil sounds rather cheeky.

Does she work in childcare professionally? If so I can kind of see her point, otherwise not so much.