Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Random-man comments

234 replies

OldieButaGoodie · 15/11/2021 05:40

Wish me luck - I'm going to HR when I get into work tomorrow about a man who works for the same Company, but I don't know him and never had a conversation with him. The other day in the office, I was in the open-plan kitchen which is a bit of a thoroughfare and I was pouring myself a glass of iced coffee from a container I bought in from home. Minding my own business and he pipes up, as he's walking past "you shouldn't be drinking that - you should be drinking green tea".. FFS mate, didn't ask for, and don't care about, your opinion! Angry

I know this topic has been mentioned before, where random men think it's ok to comment on what women are eating/drinking/wearing/etc etc etc. No, it's not.

I've had to scroll through the staff list photos to work out who he is, but it was so fleeting, that I'm going on the hunt tomorrow to ensure it's who I think it is. If it's this dickhead, he's old enough to know better than to speak to women like that - and we work in the public sector and this stuff is drummed into us all the time.

He picked the wrong person to insult - and I'm waiting for the excuses - - - you took it the wrong way - - - you don't have a sense of humour - - - I didn't mean anything by it - - - and yeah, none of them is going to cut it with me. He insulted me and there's no changing it with pissy excuses.

So, I suppose I'm not really asking if I'm being unreasonable..Grin

OP posts:
notacooldad · 15/11/2021 07:49

I'm in agreement with ( most, I think) of the others.
In this case youve used a sledge hammer to smash a nut.
Personally I have a few retorts ready to deal with unwanted attention.

If it was a regular pattern from the same person and you've made an attempted to deal with it fair enough. However your first reaction was to run to HR is odd.

Jijithecat · 15/11/2021 07:49

Unless this is a huge drip feed, YABU.

wewereliars · 15/11/2021 07:56

God, get a grip OP

Platax · 15/11/2021 07:59

You can't even claim for sure that this was insulting. For all you know, he's just evangelical about the wonders of green tea with everyone and would have said that even if you were drinking something unbelievably healthy.

Udouhun · 15/11/2021 08:00

Yabu. Jesus if I went to management every time someone was annoying I'd be there the whole time. He made an innocuous comment.

BakedTattie · 15/11/2021 08:03

How did he insult you?!

MyOtherProfile · 15/11/2021 08:07

I think you also need to be careful of claiming this is anything to do with random man being sexist towards a woman. We had a woman at my last job who did this all the time - all those "helpful" suggestions. Never crossed my mind to go to HR. It's really not just a man thing.

Sparklfairy · 15/11/2021 08:08

If this was a repeated pattern from this man, the advice here would be to keep a diary to show this before going to HR.

If they decide to humour you, they will probably suggest the same. Be prepared for ConfusedHmm faces instead though.

Porcupineintherough · 15/11/2021 08:10

Yeah irritating isnt it and it's only ever men. No woman has ever given unsolicited advice.

MyOtherProfile · 15/11/2021 08:11

@Porcupineintherough

Yeah irritating isnt it and it's only ever men. No woman has ever given unsolicited advice.
😆
Tal45 · 15/11/2021 08:17

I understand the irritation with men thinking they can tell women what they should and shouldn't be doing. I think though just saying 'please don't tell me what I should or shouldn't be drinking' is probably a better approach than involving HR.

CuteAndFluff · 15/11/2021 08:19

🤣🤣🤣

whatsthecraic91 · 15/11/2021 08:22

Jesus Christ 😂😂😂😂

SequinnedShawl · 15/11/2021 08:23

Wind ‘em up and watch them go. Hmm

OP hasn't returned. Think you've been had.

MintyGreenDream · 15/11/2021 08:23

You're being weird

notacooldad · 15/11/2021 08:26

OP hasn't returned. Think you've been had
Probably.There are so many threads like this recently, it's become annoying. Just a first post ard no follow up.

Tippexy · 15/11/2021 08:28

@Ifailed

Would you go to HR if a woman had made the comment?
A woman would never make this comment.
shouldistop · 15/11/2021 08:28

Op has quote an extensive posting history. I searched as it did read like a troll tbh.

BonesInTheOcean · 15/11/2021 08:33

@MyOtherProfile

We had a woman like this at work. She often made "helpful" suggestions. Wouldn't have crossed my mind to take it to HR!
From what I got from the OP, the issue was a man told her.

I know this topic has been mentioned before, where random men think it's ok to comment on what women are eating/drinking/wearing/etc etc etc. No, it's not.

@OldieButaGoodie would you consider going to HR if it had been a woman?

How on earth did he know what you were drinking?

BonesInTheOcean · 15/11/2021 08:34

@MyOtherProfile

We had a woman like this at work. She often made "helpful" suggestions. Wouldn't have crossed my mind to take it to HR!
@Tippexy ?
SomeFineDay · 15/11/2021 08:36

HR? Really? If can easily imagine this comment coming from a random woman too.
Who cares.

Bell25 · 15/11/2021 08:39

I’d have ignored this completely but if it really bothered you why didn’t you tell him to mind his own business at the time? I’m sure that would have sufficed.

What are you expecting HR to actually do? I think you’re probably going to end up looking a little bit silly.

Fatgalslim · 15/11/2021 08:41

@Tippexy yes they would, I get comments on what I'm eating/drinking at work all the time. It wasn't offensive, insulting or sexist in any way and I know a lot about RMC working in a very male dominated industry.

Not that I think the thread is real anyway but it is in no way a HR issue

RampantIvy · 15/11/2021 08:42

A woman would never make this comment

I wouldn't be so sure of that.

I think this is a bit of a wind up. No-one is this easily offended, are they?

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 15/11/2021 08:42

sigh