DH buying cheap at the supermarket.

[WhatsAppening]

I know this is a first world problem but humour me.

DH is wonderful in every way but we have very different attitudes to spending.

I work crazy hours and am rarely home for dinner so the weekly shop falls to him, he orders it and I collect it. Every week I want to cry into the boot of my car as I pack bags of Tesco Value everything.

He knows I love a roast on a Sunday and that’s one of few days I’m almost guaranteed to be home for dinner. He isn’t the best of cooks but he tries really hard.

He always buys own brand cheap frozen roast potatoes/yorkshires. I am not at all averse to frozen ones but these are the 30p a bag version and they taste of sadness and misery.

He’s bought a pre prepared pork joint which I know from experience will be dry and tasteless. It would be a better economy to slow roast a shoulder joint and have sandwich meat for the week.

The kicker though this week is he’s bought value cat litter. Cat litter ffs. It’s rubbish. The house will stink.

We budget £600 pcm for the supermarket and he rarely spends more than £90pw and that includes four bottles of wine for me.

AIBU? YABU he’s being frugal and that’s good and you only have one meal a week at home anyway so suck it up.

YANBU he could splash out a bit on certain things.

Can you not do the online shopping and he collects it?

If you want specific things then can you not go and get them? Or add it to the order yourself?

My first thought was that buying actual potatoes and making your own yorkshire puddings would be even cheaper. I am more frugal than your DH.

Why not just do the food order yourself and allocate a different task to DH?

Have you asked him why?

Being frugal is fine if you need to but that sounds quite sad! Can you do the online shop one week and put in what you would like to have? To be fair it really depends on your circumstances and both of your approaches to spending money. Sometimes people have fundamental differences in how they want to live and scrimping and scraping is a hard habit to break if you have done it for years.

The reason I don’t do it myself is that it’s only him and DS (and occasionally teen DD) who are around for dinner and so he picks what to eat. He buys very different things than I would eat. When I worked less and did all the cooking I also did all the shopping but I’d need him to be with me to order it anyway so it would be pointless.

I did actually book the slot this week and added in my wine and some nice bread and cheese to hold the basket. He swapped it out for own brand.

Tell him! Frozen roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings is a hill to die on IMO.
Fresh spuds and oil are cheap. value oil and value flour work perfectly fine for yourkshire puds and will be 1000 times better than frozen!

@CaptainMyCaptain

My first thought was that buying actual potatoes and making your own yorkshire puddings would be even cheaper. I am more frugal than your DH.

And me. He isn’t frugal @WhatsAppening. Homemade Yorkshire puds and proper roasties are far superior and cheaper!

Could you have him prep the order, note the price.

Then you diddle the order to get nice stuff and note the price.

Then figure out the difference amd times it by four assuming you shop weekly.

Then see if his saving is really that big a deal ?

Also I don’t want to offend him about his horrible roast dinner because he does it for me out of love and he’s always so pleased with himself.

Have you spoken to him about this?

You're obviously a lot nicer than me because I'm brutally honest with my DH and would tell him I didn't like the roast. But then his personality would mean he constantly had to improve upon it anyway!

Could you nip into the supermarket before picking up the shopping and grab the bits you like? I'm assuming crazy work hours equals good salary although I appreciate it may not be the case.

It's no wonder some men are so rubbish! They cook a terrible roast dinner, are thrilled with it and no one tells them it's actually crap! Just say - fresh is so much nicer, can we do that instead for a change and see how it is. If he refuses I'd tell him it's crap. Or live the rest of your life with a tight man and terrible roast dinners!

@WhatsAppening

Also I don’t want to offend him about his horrible roast dinner because he does it for me out of love and he’s always so pleased with himself.

Awww I would phrase it very nicely and say it’s just a small request…. But you really love home made roast potatoes and yorkshires…..

He’s not a confident cook so he’s fallen into the mindset of opening packets and putting in the oven. He’d be like a rabbit in the headlights if I suggested home made.

The most homemade cooking he does is mixing a jar of (own brand) bolognese sauce into some mince.

But I really appreciate that he’s stepped up to the plate since I’ve been back at work properly so I would never judge him for it.

But just for one dinner I’d like something that’s actually nice.

I know it's not the point of the thread but 4 bottles of wine a week sounds like a lot.

I’m a bit sad about it because I always used to do an all singing all dancing roast every Sunday before this job.

I’m going to have to say something. I forgo my proper restaurant roast at work for his.

@WhatsAppening

Also I don’t want to offend him about his horrible roast dinner because he does it for me out of love and he’s always so pleased with himself.

How can he be so pleased with himself for shoving some frozen stuff in the oven though? Surely he can’t take offence personally, it’s not his cooking

@WhatsAppening

The reason I don’t do it myself is that it’s only him and DS (and occasionally teen DD) who are around for dinner and so he picks what to eat. He buys very different things than I would eat. When I worked less and did all the cooking I also did all the shopping but I’d need him to be with me to order it anyway so it would be pointless.

I did actually book the slot this week and added in my wine and some nice bread and cheese to hold the basket. He swapped it out for own brand.

Him swapping the items you put in the basket would infuriate me! Tight git. Does he turn the heating down when you're not looking as well?

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

I know it's not the point of the thread but 4 bottles of wine a week sounds like a lot.

Ha I knew someone would pick me up on that. I do 55-60 hrs a week and usually have one, sometimes 2 big glasses a night when I get in at midnight to wind down and get to sleep. It’s not the healthiest thing in the world but hey I’m just trying to get through the week.

Mixing jar sauce with mince isn't really stepping up to the plate is it op

He literally turned the heating down earlier! But that’s because he runs hotter than me and said it was like an oven, he works upstairs tbf and it’s probably warmer up there.

I don’t think that’s a frugal thing though.

He’s actually really generous in lots of ways, we’ll go out for dinner or get takeaways a couple of times a month and he happily forks out for gifts and treats, the food shop is just ingrained I think.

I agree on the value cat litter and frozen roasties.

If he takes your nice stuff off the order the only solution I can see is you nipping into the shop to buy yourself some nice bits and pieces.

What does he do with the money that is below the budget you have spent?

But 4 bottles a week is 40 units. We are told to stick to 14 or less.

I'm honestly not trying to be a bitch. I lost 2 important family members to drinking before the age of 8. Just be careful.