DH buying cheap at the supermarket.

[WhatsAppening]

I know this is a first world problem but humour me.

DH is wonderful in every way but we have very different attitudes to spending.

I work crazy hours and am rarely home for dinner so the weekly shop falls to him, he orders it and I collect it. Every week I want to cry into the boot of my car as I pack bags of Tesco Value everything.

He knows I love a roast on a Sunday and that’s one of few days I’m almost guaranteed to be home for dinner. He isn’t the best of cooks but he tries really hard.

He always buys own brand cheap frozen roast potatoes/yorkshires. I am not at all averse to frozen ones but these are the 30p a bag version and they taste of sadness and misery.

He’s bought a pre prepared pork joint which I know from experience will be dry and tasteless. It would be a better economy to slow roast a shoulder joint and have sandwich meat for the week.

The kicker though this week is he’s bought value cat litter. Cat litter ffs. It’s rubbish. The house will stink.

We budget £600 pcm for the supermarket and he rarely spends more than £90pw and that includes four bottles of wine for me.

AIBU? YABU he’s being frugal and that’s good and you only have one meal a week at home anyway so suck it up.

YANBU he could splash out a bit on certain things.

@WhatsAppening

If I’d wanted marriage advice I’d have posted in relationships. This was just a bored whinge on a rainy afternoon.

I know I’m a getting a bit defensive but it’s very tiring reading all the misconceptions about my relationship drawn from one short post.

For what my twopenneth is worth ( not a lot !) I think you and hubby sound awesome !!

Enjoy your newly pimped roasties!!

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

I know it's not the point of the thread but 4 bottles of wine a week sounds like a lot.

To a teetotaller, I expect. Not to a person who enjoys wine!

I you have freezer space you could try buying your meat from an on line butcher, which does high welfare meat - then at least you can move away from the cheap budget supermarket meat. Otherwise I think you could persuade him to buy the free range supermarket meats using the animal welfare argument.

@LivingNextDoorToNorma

If you’re saying that your husband is literally cooking every single meal because you’re at work, I’m not sure you can dictate what he buys. Just add what you want to the online basket, and tell him no to take it out.

As far as the Sunday roast goes, I sympathise because it really does sound rubbish. However if I cooked 7/7 meals and my husband came in saying what I’d put on the table wasn’t good enough, I would be fuming. Can you use some of the money he’s saving on your cheap food to go out for dinner? At least then your guaranteed a meal you’ll enjoy.

I agree with this

I do most of the cooking at home. If my DH criticised my best efforts, I wouldn't be too impressed

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

I know it's not the point of the thread but 4 bottles of wine a week sounds like a lot.

The OP wasn’t asking about wine intake!

Why do t you make the Sunday roast and tell him a list of ingredients you want on the shopping order.

"DH, don't worry about doing a roast this week. You do all the cooking so put your feet up. I'm going to make chicken so I'll need- fresh roasting potatoes, aunt bessies frozen Yorkshire's....."

I’m all for being frugal, but own brand roast potatoes? Fuck right off.

Just log in and add what you want. Takes no more than ten mins

I feel for you. If you can afford decent quality you should get it especially with working so hard. It’s different if you actually need to economise. I’m afraid I avoid the hassle by doing the shopping myself, but you are too busy so I totally get your frustration.

@WhatsAppening

Honestly this thread is AIBU bingo.

Me: I work 60hrs in shifts so never cook anymore and my Dh does a sub par roast.

MN: cook it yourself, he’s obviously abusive, if you can’t communicate about this your marriage is dead, you sound like a princess, the poor man doing everything, oh and you’re an alcoholic.

Never change, randoms on MN, never change.

🤣❤️

Glad you're getting your nice roasties OP

I think some of the posters on this have had a humour bypass.

OP, you must LTB and contact women’s aid immediately! 😅

Or, maybe you were just having a bit of a lighthearted whinge and not everything is coercive control.

Could you go out for your Sunday roast or would that be a bit 'Busman's holiday'? I guess it's nice just to be able to relax after a busy week 🤔

You need a separate delivery just for you. Or just tell him to to stop being so tight and either cook a proper roast dinner or book a pub lunch

@Luckytattie
Haha you are one judgemental mumsnetter. One of those that know it all. Bet your friends always call you for advice..

If he cooks all week he might appreciate it if you offered to cook the Sunday roast. That way you get to source the ingredients you want.

I hate frozen Yorkshire puds and frozen roast potatoes, just why? Do the online shop and put in nice food. If my dh did that I would be telling him I don't want to eat that, we are going out for Sunday lunch. Let him see that would be twice as expensive.

Do a home shop. The end.

@olidora63

So? I am allowed to comment on any part of her post. DFOD.

Cheap cat litter is fine.

My DH would eat everything at its cheapest possible option. He's not tight in any way, he simply doesn't put value on the food he eats, he goes for quantity and if it tastes ok, he's happy.

I try to buy more ethically if I can (not being a nob, it's just something I do try to do ) and I do check foods content, but I cook most from scratch so there's not much "branded" stuff as such, but yes if there was a 5p can of beans, my DH would be all over it, I do the shop though so we do a little better than that.

Honestly OP, I think it's a problem if it all tastes rubbish or is full of rubbish. Frozen roasties though that's just a sin, but again I feel for you guys if you simply don't have the time, sounds like you are just trying to get by with the time you have, but yes, do a little note of the top 5 things that need to be good spec.

What's the point of working like a slave to eat like one too? I would be doing that order to make sure my kids eat half decent too. You could buy the other things you like from the co-op too?

For goodness sake this is everything that's wrong with the world.
Peel some potatoes roast them around the meat ,and make yorkshires from scratch its so simple a small child can do it .Don't let big companies make big money buy selling you processed crap.
It will cost less, no plastic packets to recycle .We all need to make some
changes in the way we eat shop and behave you may even enjoy cooking together .......

Yabu to not be able to peel and chop spuds for a roast dinner

Yorkshires not that hard either

😵‍💫

@WhatsAppening

I’m going to mention the cheap nasty roasties though. They really are awful and the MCain etc ones are genuinely nice. So I don’t mind the McRoast, I’d just like a nicer one.

OP you can pre-prep roast potatoes. Just roast as usual in duck or goose fat, but take them out of the oven when they are fairly pale (3/4 of cooking time). Leave them to cool and then freeze them on a tray. Once frozen bag them up for the freezer and roast from frozen as needed. I was a bit when I saw this on a cookery show but it really works. Or use this similar method which doesn’t part roast them first (although I think party roasting them before freezing speeds things up)

@WhatsAppening

Yeah I’m going to talk to him. Gently.

I’m a manager in a pub/restaurant. It’s a crazy lifestyle but I love it.

Could you bring meals from where you work home with you or order in from somewhere? There's obviously room in your budget and given you both work long hours, this could be good for you both, he doesn't have to cook and you could get to eat something that's more like what you want.