Am I over reacting - controlling SIL

[bagpuss90]

We have a family holiday booked -eight of us going . I’d rather be going away with just DP but his mum died last year ,and he wants a holiday with his family which I’ve reluctantly agreed to. My sister in law - who has rubbed me up the wrong way several times over the years has surpassed herself. She’s announced that she “wants to be organised “ and has asked that we all hand our passports over to her for safe keeping and she will hold onto them for the duration of the holiday. I’ve point blank refused-I’m old enough and ugly enough to look after my own passport thank you. It’s the principle -plus can you imagine if she lost the lot of then. It’s made me dread the holiday- I think she’ll want to run the show - DP thinks I’m over reacting . She’s said I’m a control freak-wtf ?? Having serious thoughts about not going, but under the circumstances it’s not that easy to bail out now

I would never give someone my passport, I even hate it when DH looks after it when we are away . You are not BU at all.

Yeah no need for her to hold the passports. She's totally projecting about you being a control freak

Assuming she's DH sister so she's grieving too, try and take a step back and go with the flow as much as possible. She may take a small comfort in being in control of something right now, but feel free to say you want to hold on to your own passport because you're not a child

No way in a million years would I be handing over my passport.

I wouldn’t be doing that either.

I’d rather swallow it for safe keeping.

No way I'd give anyone my passport she's a knob lol

I wouldn’t bail out, why should you miss out on a holiday? But not in a million years would I be handing over my passport! How ridiculous! Your DP has probably enabled her controlling behaviour for a while so I’d continue making it clear that you won’t be allowing her to do it to you.

Has she doubted your age maybe and wants proof??
Just tell her you aren't 6 and she isn't your dm.

Control freaks always think that a person who won't do as they are told is a control freak.

No one gets my passport ever. Don't let her near it.

She is grieving but she’s not getting my passport

Feck no! Never mind the competitive grieving, she isn't the sole person to have lost a parent. Plus, who knows what her intentions are! She could be running some sort of scam in your name with the aid of your passport. I would pull out. This sounds like a total nightmare. Your MIL isn't around anymore to have to do this in her memory.

Wow YANBU I would hate someone treating me like a child and that is what your SIL is doing.

Yeah just say you don’t want to give anyone your passport, there is no need and you may need it for something else. I use mine quite a lot for ID (can’t find my driving license).

Is she daft enough to hide your passport while you're there, so she can "I told you so" ? Keep a close eye on it.

The grieving part is irrelevant in this case. I’m grieving a parent who I adored and was really close to but I don’t use it as a reason to manipulate people. You can be sensitive to her grief without allowing her to get her way “because she’s grieving”.

What a weirdo!

SHE thinks YOU are the control freak??!! I always find it amazing when people see their own faults in others.

Bail out now. I guarantee you will regret going

WTAF ? She is grieving. She is also bloody nuts. Not a hope in hell that I would hand it over. I do think you need to keep a steady eye on it though, just in case as a pp suggested she might try hiding it and saying "I told you so"

Tell her not to be so ridiculous.
And fgs don’t lose your passport or you’ll never hear the end of it!

What is her reasoning for wanting to hold all the passports whilst already away? Beforehand I could almost (but still not really) understand - a double check everyone has one, no expired passports, no-one forgets to take to the airport etc but once you've all arrived, you or her DB losing their passport has no impact on her at all. If you can't travel home you'll have to sort yourselves out, it wouldn't be anything to do with her. DH needs to stop enabling batshit behaviour of his DSis. Someone who is quite clearly cating as a control freak has absolutely no grounds to call anyone else a control freak just because they aren't willing to bend to their will.

Well this is clear warning that absolutely every other aspect of your holiday will be micromanaged. I would be very clear with dp what you are and are not prepared to tolerate. Decide which battles are important.

No, never. I travel a lot, and never, ever hand my passport over to anyone. It's such a vital document that no way do I let it out of my sight, and certainly not to anyone outside of unavoidable officialdom.

Nor do I look after anyone else's passport. It's way too much of a responsibility.

"SIL - this is not a school trip"

Apart from anything else, you might be asked to show your passport at some points in the holiday, if you're abroad. I've had to show mine in banks etc. Mine is in a secure pocket of my travel handbag at all times, so it's with me and available.

She wants to hold everyone's passports!!! This woman has some issues she needs to work through.

She called YOU a control freak for wanting to keep your own passport (like every other adult on the planet does on holiday). I think this is going to be a very interesting holiday and you should embark on it in the spirit of "let's see what weirdo shit sil may come up with" rather than the usual "oh we'll all have a lovely time won't we"

Is your dh handing over his passport to her? If so will you find him attractive/adult enough to have sex with on that holiday?