Am I over reacting - controlling SIL

[bagpuss90]

We have a family holiday booked -eight of us going . I’d rather be going away with just DP but his mum died last year ,and he wants a holiday with his family which I’ve reluctantly agreed to. My sister in law - who has rubbed me up the wrong way several times over the years has surpassed herself. She’s announced that she “wants to be organised “ and has asked that we all hand our passports over to her for safe keeping and she will hold onto them for the duration of the holiday. I’ve point blank refused-I’m old enough and ugly enough to look after my own passport thank you. It’s the principle -plus can you imagine if she lost the lot of then. It’s made me dread the holiday- I think she’ll want to run the show - DP thinks I’m over reacting . She’s said I’m a control freak-wtf ?? Having serious thoughts about not going, but under the circumstances it’s not that easy to bail out now

[thing47]

You don't actually have to eat regular meals as a Type I diabetic, that's very old school, but you do need to have a degree of awareness about it which she is clearly lacking.

A friend who used the word 'pander' about my diabetes would very quickly be an ex-friend. And if I were the BIL concerned, I would be very low contact at best, probably no contact.

[bagpuss90]

Well the BIL has bailed out too . I think he felt he was between a rock and a hard place. I mean you shouldn’t have to put your foot down when it comes to the need to manage a health condition. All of this has caused such bad ructions within the family and between me and my DP. As I said I’m going to stay with a friend for a few days -we’ve chatted tonight and have nice stuff planned 😊. I’m really looking forward to it. I think I may well meet up with my BIL for a drink before they all roll back .

[bagpuss90]

Thanks for all your support-it really is appreciated xx

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

@bagpuss90 - to be fair though, which I doubt any of the blood family will be, this is ENTIRELY on your SIL.
If she hadn't been such a domineering arse, then you could all have gone on holiday, had a reasonably good time, BIL would have been able to keep his diabetes under control and it would have been fine.

Your SIL's determination to run the whole show like the rest of you were just small children is the problem that has caused the "ructions", no one else.

[OperationDessertStorm]

Good choice OP! I’ve been manipulated into a few “holidays” with domineering women and treated like an errant 11 year old boy. Never again!

[HannaHanna]

Is she trying to run the in-laws off perhaps? Sounds like it will work out perfectly for her since she is single and her siblings are willing to let her boss them around.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I’ve just picked up your thread. I’m glad to see you and your BIL have bailed. There’s a current thread on here by a mumsnetter, whose partner just died from complications following a serious type 1 hypo. Your sil is truly clueless. and it sounds as if you’ve got far better plans.

[Loudestcat14]

I was wondering what happened with this! I think you've absolutely done the right thing, OP, and as for her dismissing the BIL's life-threatening illness....! Bloody hell she's a piece of work.

I hope you can get past this with your DP. The best outcome is that she takes all their passports but loses them!

[Billybagpuss]

Hope you can get through this with you and DP. It’s got to be hard for him as she sounds like she’ll bitch on about it the whole holiday.

How long are they away for?

[Fluffycloudland77]

Well she sounds a bit thick, Type one diabetes is something you look after properly or end up in hospital.

She’s self appointed matriarch by the sound of it.

[Spudlet]

@thing47 No you don’t, but if that’s what works for BiL and what he feels comfortable with, he shouldn’t be expected to change that for the sake of a holiday with his batshit SiL

Good call op, though if your DH lets any info slip about how it goes… you know what to do

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

@Mummyoflittledragon

I’ve just picked up your thread. I’m glad to see you and your BIL have bailed. There’s a current thread on here by a mumsnetter, whose partner just died from complications following a serious type 1 hypo. Your sil is truly clueless. and it sounds as if you’ve got far better plans.

Oh no, did she?? The thread had dropped off my TIO, so I missed that. So sad.

[EL8888]

Smart move, it had the makings of a holiday from hell. She is a piece of work isn’t she . Controlling, dismissive, selfish etc. The camping equipment incident wasn’t great and then the diabetes comment. Never mind the passports!

[Mrgrinch]

All I can say is thank god you bailed.

[thing47]

Oh I quite agree spudlet. After 30 years I manage my diabetes precisely how I want to and give zero fucks for anyone offering me advice on how I should do it.

I only wanted to address the statement that 'BIL obviously has to eat regular meals'. That might well be true for OP's BIL, but not as a blanket statement. There is so much misunderstanding about Type I diabetes I feel it's important to increase people's knowledge.

Apologies to everyone for the brief derail.

[Brefugee]

good decision, OP, and good for the BIL too.

I realised, luckily, early on that some of my inlaws are completely batshit. I have very very little (actually nothing) to do with all except a SIL and a couple of nieces. It's great. And DH is very low contact because he realised it was always him doing all the running. It's very harmonious.

[Pipsquiggle]

Yes your SIL sounds batshit. Well done on getting out of it.

I wonder what kind of job she does - is it one where they have to be in control all the time e.g. teacher, police?

I love teachers and police officers but you do get the odd one who cannot switch off after a shift.

[Spudlet]

Totally take your point, @thing47

[longtompot]

Sorry to go off topic but @ThumbWitchesAbroad www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4350924-DP-42-T1-Diabetic-ICU-Passed-Away-title-amended-by-MNHQ-at-OPs-request

[Mamamamasaurus]

[quote longtompot]Sorry to go off topic but @ThumbWitchesAbroad www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4350924-DP-42-T1-Diabetic-ICU-Passed-Away-title-amended-by-MNHQ-at-OPs-request[/quote]
Holy shit, is that Steve's(?) partner, she's been in hospital for a while..... 🙁

[Loubiemoo]

Yes, unfortunately it is.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Thank you @longtompot - so very sad. :(