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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who gets the boots?

162 replies

Bootdilemma · 31/08/2021 07:30

About 5 years ago I bought dd2 a pair of long riding boots. She wore them for a couple of years then gave up riding. Dd3 started wearing the boots. She's worn them almost every day for three years. Along with me, she does all the looking after of our two horses. The boots are falling apart, cracked, one has a hole in. But they are "the most comfortable boots in the world" apparently.

Dd2 has a gap year job in a school that has horses. At interview they mentioned she might be able to ride out with the little ones. Dd2 wants to take The Boots, saying they were bought for her originally so they are her boots
Dd3 is livid as she wears The Boots everyday and feels that as she does all the horse stuff at home, she should get The Boots

Neither want a new pair of boots

Help me solve this ridiculous dilemma as both of my normally kind sensible dds have become fixated on the Boots.

YANBU - DD2 TAKES THE BOOTS TO HER GAP YEAR JOB
YABU - DD3 KEEPS THE BOOTS TO WEAR AT HOME EVERYDAY

OP posts:
DollyDinkle · 31/08/2021 07:31

Dd3 keeps them

MyOtherProfile · 31/08/2021 07:32

Give them one each Grin

Original poster
Bootdilemma · 31/08/2021 07:32

@MyOtherProfile

Give them one each Grin
🤣🤣
OP posts:
Dontfuckingsaycheese · 31/08/2021 07:34

One boot each?

hellcatspangle · 31/08/2021 07:35

Dd3 gets the boots. Dd2 gave up ownership when she stopped riding and dd3 has been wearing them for longer.

IsolaPribby · 31/08/2021 07:36

They are so comfortable now for DD3 because she has worn them everyday and they have moulded to her feet. DD2 is unlikely to find them as comfortable now.
Do they have the same size feet?
How old are they both?

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 31/08/2021 07:38

Oops crosspost. Can I just mention - Dd2's new job sounds amazing!! Good for her. I have no idea on the boots dilemma though. I'm glad I only have one DC. Me and my sister would have been like this. And still harping on about it 30 years later... Hmm

Whinge · 31/08/2021 07:39

DD3 gets the boots. DD2 didn't want them when she gave up riding. Also it's likely that had DD3 not begun to use them, the boots would have have been sold / donated a long time ago, so DD2 would have needed a new pair.

Original poster
Bootdilemma · 31/08/2021 07:39

@IsolaPribby

They are so comfortable now for DD3 because she has worn them everyday and they have moulded to her feet. DD2 is unlikely to find them as comfortable now. Do they have the same size feet? How old are they both?
Dd2 is 18 and Dd3 is 15 Dd3 actually has bigger feet than dd2 but The Boots must have stretched over time

I have offered dd2 a pair of short boots and leather chaps that we have lying around but she is being very stubborn and refusing

OP posts:
Original poster
Bootdilemma · 31/08/2021 07:40

I do want Dd3 to keep them as she works very hard with the horses everyday

But also dd2s job is quite a big deal when a lot of her friends aren't doing anything except partying on their gap year so I want to support her too

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 31/08/2021 07:42

Initially voted for dd2 but thinking about it dd3 wears them every day so she should keep them. Unless they were a birthday or Christmas gift?

AttaGirrrrl · 31/08/2021 07:42

They’re DD3’s boots.

Look on eBay for another pair of already broken in ones for DD2?

Fredoftheforest · 31/08/2021 07:42

If DD3 has stretched out the boots over time then they will be uncomfortable for DD2 now.

In any event she (presumably) agreed to them going to her younger sister 3 years ago so she doesn’t get them back now!

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 31/08/2021 07:43

DD3 should keep them.

But for fun i would "do a king solomon" and give them one boor each to discover who truly loves them. Wink

BareVanilla · 31/08/2021 07:43

I had a similar issue with cream jacket that I bought, I loved it but didn’t wear it as really it wasn’t the fashion or a good style for me. My young Aunt went into my wardrobe and borrowed it saying I never wear it. In the end I let her have it but when I track the reason for not having an adult relationship with her now it started with the jacket. I need therapy 🤣

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 31/08/2021 07:44

Why did dd3 start using the boots as hers in the first place? Did she just take the boots? She saw they weren't in use so she decided they were rightfully hers as the cheeky little sister (me) did in our house ? Or were they offered to her by dd2 seeing as they were bought for her? Or are their clothes usually seen as communal?

LeonardLikesThisPost · 31/08/2021 07:44

It seems obvious to me they belong to dd3 now. On the app so can't vote.

I'd buy dd2 a new pair to show support and she will just have to break them in.

Original poster
Bootdilemma · 31/08/2021 07:44

@AttaGirrrrl

They’re DD3’s boots.

Look on eBay for another pair of already broken in ones for DD2?

I've tried this but she's going tomorrow!

I can't believe after all the problems we've had this summer (dh breaking his ankle, Covid, my job looking dodgy) that this is the hill two of my teens are willing to die on

OP posts:
Original poster
Bootdilemma · 31/08/2021 07:45

@LeonardLikesThisPost

It seems obvious to me they belong to dd3 now. On the app so can't vote.

I'd buy dd2 a new pair to show support and she will just have to break them in.

This is what I have finally decided. They are £££ though and the annoying thing is she might not even get to ride!
OP posts:
chesterelly · 31/08/2021 07:47

New boots for new job. Especially if the old ones are now stretched and will be too big. I think you should pay for them though to minimise any sibling resentment.

Original poster
Bootdilemma · 31/08/2021 07:47

@Dontfuckingsaycheese

Why did dd3 start using the boots as hers in the first place? Did she just take the boots? She saw they weren't in use so she decided they were rightfully hers as the cheeky little sister (me) did in our house ? Or were they offered to her by dd2 seeing as they were bought for her? Or are their clothes usually seen as communal?
All horse riding stuff in our house is pretty much communal. If someone grows out of something someone else gets it as it's all too expensive to have four sets (I have four dcs 🙄)
OP posts:
Crabbitcrab · 31/08/2021 07:48

Did she give the boots to her sister or did dd3 just take them? If she gave them away then dd3 keeps them but if dd3 just took them she has to give them back

OhSmellyCatSmellyCat · 31/08/2021 07:49

Dd3 getsto keep them. Dd2 needs to realise she can't dip in and out then expect her own way. She will only want them for a little while compared to Dd3

Whinge · 31/08/2021 07:49

If she might not even get the chance to ride then DD2 should take the shorter boots you've offered and stop being so stubborn. I wouldn't be buying new boots, you offered and she refused.

Pashazade · 31/08/2021 07:49

I think the original boots definitely belong to DD3. I would point out to DD2 that she is aiming to make things difficult for you and her sister by demanding the boots on the off chance that she might get to ride and she hasn't even been in the job a week. Just say no and if it looks like she's going to ride occasionally then help out with a pair of boots that won't break the bank. If she'd done anything with the horses in the last few years I'd possibly consider otherwise but they obviously aren't a priority for her just a nice perk so she doesn't get to dictate! Good luck!

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