AIBU or is this baby?

[ShielaSaz]

There's this baby I know who has recently decided that every moment he is awake, it is appropriate to SHOUT. It doesn't matter where we are either (he seems to follow me everywhere), at home, in the shops, during my routine eye test the other day (the only time he actually stopped was to take a giant dump much to the amusement of the optician who was trying to remain professional).

When it first started, I thought something may be up so being a good mum person, checked on him. But no, there is no crying, no frustration, this kid thinks it's hilarious.

I've politely asked him to stop but it's made no difference and I'm sure I saw a little middle finger go up at one point although I may have hallucinated that part.

My husband is at work during the day so is only subjected to this for a few hours in the evening. He thinks it's funny and actually encourages it, shouting back! LTB?

Anyway, what should I do about this my shouting baby? I should at least log it with 101 right? Will my MP be interested?

Ugh. How irritating. Can you keep a noise log and report to the council? They should at least send out a warning letter, which might have some effect on the perpetrator if you read it out in a stern voice?

Baby is totally U.

LTB
Leave the baby

Try a pet corrector spray and headphones.

Have you spoken to a solicitor?

You know you can send them back and get a full refund? It's not widely publicised otherwise everyone would do it. I think there's a thread on MoneySavingExpert which goes through the process step by step.

@StarryStarrySocks

You know you can send them back and get a full refund? It's not widely publicised otherwise everyone would do it. I think there's a thread on MoneySavingExpert which goes through the process step by step.

I love that one!!

Your baby is a narcissist. Go NC.

I had a teenager who had a similar malfunction. Regular uploads of pizza and cans of coke did fix the problem intermittently. I know it's not a recommended solution for any age but it was that or get rid on FB marketplace. (No takers). Eventually it stopped of its own accord and is now able to self regulate volume.

Keep a noise log ✔️
Call 101✔️
Get the free 30 mins with a solicitor ✔️
Noise cancelling headphones ✔️
LTB (leave the baby) ✔️

This is amazing 😂

Yanbu. I know a baby side eyes ds1 who screamed every moment he was awake until he was 12 weeks old. Completely unreasonable. LTB.

Wear ear defenders?

Have you thoroughly checked it to see if has a reset button? Obviously must be some sort of a malfunction. If not, ebay?

Get your ducks in a row. Especially at bathtime

Give the baby your best Paddington stare and ask them if they mean to be so rude?

I have turned him on and off but it hasn't seemed to make a difference, that's the limit of my expertise unfortunately. I can't seem to find a hard reset button.

That's very interesting about the MSE article, thank you. I will take a look when the banshee takes a nap.

@dworky

Have you spoken to a solicitor?

I don't have the spare funds right now. My money is currently tied up in nappies, food and jumperoos for the shouter. I'm a mug I know.

Voice-activated lawn sprinklers.

Throw the baby in the bin

How old is the baby? If they are young enough to be a phenomena maybe they could audition for BGT?

Can you just spray him with a water pistol? Should stop him crapping in your garden, too.

I think you need to send this baby a final written warning.

The shouting behaviour clearly falls short of conduct expected - your internal policies couldn't be clearer on this and this baby knew that when they joined your organisation.

Would a penguin bollard be a suitable distraction?

It takes me back to a baby that joined my organisation once - had terrible trouble with her. Had to put her on capability review when it came to potty training.

We ended up in mediation but thankfully with the right support in place she upskilled and I was able to keep her on.