AIBU or is this baby?

[ShielaSaz]

There's this baby I know who has recently decided that every moment he is awake, it is appropriate to SHOUT. It doesn't matter where we are either (he seems to follow me everywhere), at home, in the shops, during my routine eye test the other day (the only time he actually stopped was to take a giant dump much to the amusement of the optician who was trying to remain professional).

When it first started, I thought something may be up so being a good mum person, checked on him. But no, there is no crying, no frustration, this kid thinks it's hilarious.

I've politely asked him to stop but it's made no difference and I'm sure I saw a little middle finger go up at one point although I may have hallucinated that part.

My husband is at work during the day so is only subjected to this for a few hours in the evening. He thinks it's funny and actually encourages it, shouting back! LTB?

Anyway, what should I do about this my shouting baby? I should at least log it with 101 right? Will my MP be interested?

[Jammysod]

It's probably the vaccination. I've seen loads of people on Facebook & an article in the Daily Mail saying that it's making babies cry.

[belinda789]

Do what the Eskimos do:
Put something sticky on his fingers (too far North for bees so they don’t have honey).
Then give him a feather (one of those fluffy little ones). He will transfer it from hand to hand in utter silence for quite a long time.
Job done…….

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Baby is a massive CF.

[FamishedAtAnAirport]

Ooooh dear, it looks like you've taken me seriously!

I'm not sure how, given the nature of the thread. I was just messing around - given that you said the polar opposite of what you clearly meant, I just thought I'd run with it.

[PixiKitKat]

Put it outside, it works for my cat when he's being noisy at 5am

(reason number 657 why I am not a parent)

[Shona52]

Get an ASBO on them for their Anti Social behavior

[plodalong12]

@HmmmmmmInteresting
I quoted the post I was agreeing with and you decided to jump in with some weird rant telling me I was agreeing with the post confused. Errrr yes I was. How embarrassing for you.

If you've got nothing interesting to add to this hilarious light-hearted thread then why don't you leave?

…I think that poster was keeping in spirit with the thread and the usual replies. I don’t think that poster should be the embarrassed one here!

Anyway OP, why did you have children with this man?

[MumofSpud]

I need a diagram

[plodalong12]

@FamishedAtAnAirport

Ooooh dear, it looks like you've taken me seriously!

I'm not sure how, given the nature of the thread. I was just messing around - given that you said the polar opposite of what you clearly meant, I just thought I'd run with it.

I posted my reply before I saw yours. Don’t worry, I understood it!

[MotherofPearl]

This reminds me of when DS went through a wild and shouty phase aged about 2. DD, 3 years older than him, found him as exasperating as I did, and memorably demanded, "Why didn't he come with a remote control? Or a cage?".

[FamishedAtAnAirport]

Thanks @plodalong12 🙃

[Jankwrs1]

Op, can you afford a nanny?

[messybun101]

Can't you suggest the Disney Dad does more to help?

[Tessabelle74]

Return the cheque, and put the baby in with it

[LordOfTheOnionRings]

Are cash converters still trading?

[Flibbitygibbit]

Ahh don’t worry OP. LTbaby. Plenty more babies in the sea and all that

[ladynyland]

Pop upside down and remove batteries, return to shop as not fit for purpose.

[Localocal]

Did you keep the receipt?

We nicknamed our middle child Little Shouty Howly. Then felt bad when he turned out to have a hearing problem.

[IlonaRN]

We found a mute button on ours
(otherwise called "a dummy")

[Disneycharacter]

rename him Shouty McShouty.

[Purpoole]

Maybe try a feliway plug in… heard they work wonders!

[TheSquashyHatOfMrGnosspelius]

@CallMeRisley

LTB
Leave the baby

Brilliant!

[IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves]

Demonic possession. It's a perfectly normal developmental stage.
Baby will shortly begin projectile vomiting green soup and experiencing head rotation.
At that point you contact your local Catholic church. They know what to do.

You'll need them again during puberty.

[Peachee]

Definitely one for environmental health. They will often fit a black box to the wall to monitor the noise levels and ask you to keep a log so they can assess the situation..

[Nocaloriesinchocolate]

I suggest you give him a bicycle - he will then be out of the house all weekend, every weekend pursuing his hobby and you will have NO FAILY LIFE but you will have peace.