AIBU or is this baby?

[ShielaSaz]

There's this baby I know who has recently decided that every moment he is awake, it is appropriate to SHOUT. It doesn't matter where we are either (he seems to follow me everywhere), at home, in the shops, during my routine eye test the other day (the only time he actually stopped was to take a giant dump much to the amusement of the optician who was trying to remain professional).

When it first started, I thought something may be up so being a good mum person, checked on him. But no, there is no crying, no frustration, this kid thinks it's hilarious.

I've politely asked him to stop but it's made no difference and I'm sure I saw a little middle finger go up at one point although I may have hallucinated that part.

My husband is at work during the day so is only subjected to this for a few hours in the evening. He thinks it's funny and actually encourages it, shouting back! LTB?

Anyway, what should I do about this my shouting baby? I should at least log it with 101 right? Will my MP be interested?

This thread is just what I needed this morning!

Have you said 'next slide please' with a Chris Whitty voice?

I think you need to post this in gifted and talented.

'My DS is gifted at shouting and his talent isn't being appreciated and stretched'

Maybe he can be fast tracked for a career as a sports coach, an MP or Piers Morgan a tv 'interviewer' ?

I think you need to put your big girl pants on and have an adult conversation.

Well, if a "tinkly little laugh" won't do it then it's a grey rock situation every single time!

I hate to say it but would you actually be in this situation if DH had used his P. Beaker???

Definitely get a restraining order. First sign of trouble and it's off to Pentonville c/o HM Prison Service.

If he complains it shows what a big baby he is.

I would write a passive aggressive note and sellotape it to the babies crib.

Have you considered a spa day?

Bit of an old wives tale, but it works ! We had this with ours, but luckily our wizened old great granny Lucretzia, who was the seventh child of a seventh child and born with a caul suggested we tried the cheap gin in a bottle trick. Just a spoonful in every bottle and it worked a treat. Must be really cheap gin though, don’t —waste— use the good stuff.

Ring ACAS hun.

I hate to say it but would you actually be in this situation if DH had used his P. Beaker???

The P.Beaker was in the dishwasher that night. That'll learn us.

Water pistol ?

Meet for coffee and have a heart to heart with Dbaby. If this doesnt help go nc.

You just need to remember………………
Nobody puts baby in the corner

Just a thought, does he wear a suit all the time and do you have a son with the initial T? If so, I think your in real bother.

@Alloftheboys

I think you need to put your big girl pants on and have an adult conversation.

Oh thank you for the diagram. I've not tried offering a herbal beverage. What do you think babies like? Peppermint? Chamomile? I'd ask him but I suspect I'd get nothing back except you know what.

It does piss me off though that I'm here discussing remedies for this and that little a hole person probably couldn't care less. What a CF.

This sounds a bit sneaky, but worth a try... next time you're out at the shops, if you see another baby that looks unbroken, just swap them.

I don’t usually post but have come on this thread to say, have my first LTB

Don’t know if anyone has said this yet OP but have you cancelled the cheque?
Either way I suggest you log everything and maybe consider building a bigger fence.

A & E NOW!!

Had a similar issue with a baby who wouldn't stop blowing raspberries for weeks on end. Soaking herself and everyone, and everything in her path. She managed to get me dragged into a fight with an old lady in Tesco by spitting all over the Pink Lady apples.

Only advice I can give is to wait for around a decade, they become quite pleasant company in the end.

The problem is, if you try to sell it on now, you will have to declare the issue

Unplug it, turn it off, wait 5 minutes plug it back in again.

Have you called the police? Get it logged. Also perhaps look at getting a nanny, if a nanny isn't an option which in your situation op it really should be, pop him out with the recycling.

This thread is absolute genius, don't have a witty response to add, just a thank you for all the ugly snort laughs I've had this morning 🤣